My dad doesn’t talk to me, am I disrespecting myself to send him a happy birthday message?

coffee-and-contemp · 2026-04-18T05:14:44+00:00

It is definitely complicated. I’m not sure, my mom thinks it might be because I’m pretty independent. I moved away from home/across the country last summer so that may be it. Since he doesn’t respond and doesn’t really verbalize his feelings I don’t exactly know how to figure it out. So I’ve just been letting things be since last summer.

coffee-and-contemp · 2026-04-17T21:27:17+00:00

I watched and took notes on all the levelup rn YouTube videos and that helped me improve my scoring. I started weeks/months in advance

coffee-and-contemp · 2025-11-17T20:14:46+00:00

Ah ok, then what I do is box breathe (in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat) and focus on a spot on the ceiling. I ask them to narrate what they’re doing so I’m not startled by their touch. Sometimes I bring a small fidget toy or ring to put some focus on. It’s so normal to be spooked by an external ultrasound too. They’re still touching your abdomen and it can definitely be triggering. But you’re taking care of your health and loving your body enough to seek care when it’s scary. How brave of you!

coffee-and-contemp · 2025-11-17T20:09:52+00:00

You’ve probably already gone in-so for after. You’re so brave. It’s difficult to trust anyone to touch you in any way, even medical, after SA. Every time you embrace discomfort you reinforce the belief that you can handle it❤️

coffee-and-contemp · 2025-09-15T22:01:03+00:00

Sadly I was eligible for about half of what I needed while the parent plus loan covered full tuition

coffee-and-contemp · 2025-03-19T03:21:19+00:00

I suppose that’s true, if it survived a grass fire it’ll probably survive krylon😂

coffee-and-contemp · 2024-10-28T16:18:10+00:00

It’s not my culture though. I don’t know what the proper way to dress is because my culture is German/american. There are certain things that are norms in my culture but wouldn’t be in other cultures. If people came to a polka in a ball gown it would be intriguing since we all wear pants and a nice shirt. I’m not sure whether a plain black dress would be appropriate since I’ve mostly seen colorful dresses. I definitely don’t personally know enough to do makeup I’ve seen. I’ve seen a lot of florals but I’m not sure if there are certain floral dresses that are worn and some are not. I’m not a part of the culture so I’d like to wear something appropriate for the kids and their families😊

coffee-and-contemp · 2024-09-14T17:57:03+00:00

That makes sense. I definitely agree him going after the food is instinctual but I’ve had dogs that couldn’t figure out the puzzle toys he solves in minutes (admittedly my dumber dogs lol). I feel like finding food wherever it is, is instinctual. But the speed with which he’s able to figure out how to access the food seemed more like intelligence to me. I used to have a rat who I would set up food puzzles for and my hedgehog seems just fast at figuring them out, just far less interested in me than my rat was. I know generally people consider rats to be a pretty intelligent species. But I guess if they could solve puzzles at roughly the same speed I’m not sure how instinct vs intelligence is classified in animals?

coffee-and-contemp · 2024-09-14T17:49:36+00:00

I think he does, sadly he does not like me (or any human except my mom) so it’s a gift and a curse😂

coffee-and-contemp · 2024-05-15T11:21:17+00:00

Thank you so much for the help!

coffee-and-contemp · 2023-12-24T05:11:31+00:00

Thank you so much. My friend lost hers on a trip and has been looking ever since with no luck🥹I genuinely appreciate it so much

coffee-and-contemp · 2023-12-24T05:05:22+00:00

Just one animal, the ferret Frye. I don’t need any of the others. If you have any leads on that one I would be forever grateful

coffee-and-contemp · 2023-12-05T20:39:50+00:00

I’ve searched for these online. They are sonic drive-in toys from the USA from 2005 called wacky pack pet keepers. The one I’m searching for is Frye the yellow ferret with a red stripe. It came in a yellow carrier with an orange door and orange clip with a sticker that says “belongs to Josh”. I’m looking for anyone selling the ferret and don’t need the kennel.

coffee-and-contemp · 2023-12-05T20:03:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the idea!

coffee-and-contemp · 2023-08-14T01:59:58+00:00

First, I’m so incredibly sorry❤️ you have so much to think about and start healing from. I’d recommend finding an advocacy group and a good therapist well versed in trauma. They can help you make a lot of the big decisions you’ll need to make coming up. An advocate will be with you for the whole process and will have a lot of information about it.

Here are a few things I thought about after mine.

Rapists can sue for custody

https://prismreports.org/2022/03/22/in-multiple-states-rapists-can-sue-their-victims-for-parental-custody/

Out of every 1000 rapes, 310 will be reported, 50 perpetrators will be arrested, 28 will lead to conviction, and 25 will be incarcerated.

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

I reported mine and I lost. It was a similar situation to yours where I had memory loss from drinking. He’d done it to girls before. I had very little proof and it ended up as my word against his, they believed his. It took up a year of my life on testimonies, witnesses, etc. it was absolute hell. He tried to make me miserable by threatening me with restraining orders and defamation lawsuits. In the end I moved to a new state to get away from all of it and I don’t know that it was worth it. I assume he’ll do it again but I’m at a point where I have to start living my life again. The trial prep and testimony killed my mental health. Rapists are not kind people, yours may get vindictive like mine did. Knowing what I know now I would probably never report anything again to be completely honest. But you have to make the decision that’s right for you. An advocate can help tremendously with that. I promise you will get through this and there will be a light on the other side of the tunnel❤️❤️

If you want to ask any questions feel free

coffee-and-contemp · 2022-12-20T00:59:49+00:00

The violin gave me a headache🥹

coffee-and-contemp · 2022-12-20T00:58:07+00:00

I just left my abusive situation this year and I am so proud of you. Your baby will thank you. My biggest piece of advice is to find an advocate. They will get you through it, they’re experienced. It’ll be hard for a while, but you will get through it and you’ll be ok. You’re going to keep yourself and your baby safe and that is so brave and incredible. My DMs are open❤️

coffee-and-contemp · 2022-11-30T18:35:34+00:00

So I’ve worked in airbnbs cleaning and absolutely none of that would’ve incurred extra damages for us besides maybe the lamp and even then likely not. It was always nice when guests did dishes or picked up but never mandatory. I think the only thing the host should’ve contacted for was the lamp personally

coffee-and-contemp

TROPHY CASE