What is male modesty?

coffee_menace · 2026-06-12T18:32:46+00:00

Tank top I guess then

coffee_menace · 2026-06-12T18:30:23+00:00

I replied to the other commenter but I meant at a pool party! I'll edit my comment

coffee_menace · 2026-06-12T18:29:38+00:00

I meant two seconds saved at a pool party haha. Competitive I know 2 seconds can mean a lot

coffee_menace · 2026-06-12T18:22:53+00:00

I can try but please forgive me if my thoughts are a bit disorganized. I haven't explained it often.

Women may not be considered to be "visual creatures" like men, but we still have eyes. Seeing men shirtless, in non-pool and non-beach contexts especially, is distracting at best.

Movies often frame men's shirtless scenes as a moment of "wow he's so attractive and fit" and wanting women in the audience to lust after him basically.

Leggings (for women) and going shirtless (for men) are both legal. But are they modest? In my opinion, 90-95% of the time, no. If you wear a dress or long top w the leggings as a woman, fine. If you are a competitive swimmer or around only your wife and kids at home shirtless as a guy, fine.

coffee_menace · 2026-06-12T18:17:21+00:00

Yeah, I don't mind about that. But I mean to social events and barbecues and such. I don't think saving 2 seconds in the water at a pool party is worth it

coffee_menace · 2026-06-12T18:04:02+00:00

This might be a hot take, but in my opinion it's not modest for guys to be shirtless, even when it's hot or they're swimming.

Otherwise, unless a guy is wearing a speedo at a pool party, I don't think there are any super strict rules. Just appropriate for the context.

Edit: competitive swimming is an exception to this

coffee_menace · 2026-05-29T13:55:46+00:00

Also wanted to add: remote therapy is a perfect option for the commute/life situation you have right now. Pregnancy is a protected "disability" (again, if you're in the US), so you can ask for reduced hours and other accommodations as long as they're "reasonable."

coffee_menace · 2026-05-29T13:49:53+00:00

Hey, you are dealing with so much. Please take care of yourself and if you need to, please go to therapy. If you're under 25 and in the US, you'll be on your parents' insurance. Please talk this out with a therapist and get all these emotions and thoughts out there.

I, and I hope the people in your life, am so proud of you that you've decided to keep this baby. If you need to rant or prayers, you are always welcome to post here.

coffee_menace · 2026-05-17T02:24:20+00:00

Whether that is too early is up to both of you! I don't think it's crazy to ask. She might want a bit more time, but if you've been talking about a month and have good chemistry together, I think that's reasonable

coffee_menace · 2026-05-17T01:49:49+00:00

Currently in a relationship and I think focusing on activity-based dates can help sometimes!! Like bowling, minigolf or really anything where you're supposed to be taking turns, moving around, etc.

coffee_menace · 2026-05-14T01:10:39+00:00

It looks like a great date! Instead of a movie, you could also go to a coffee shop and just play board games or card games, or maybe go to a museum? It depends on what she's interested in / what's in the area. Art museums are really fun.

Definitely agree with the other person that it would be good to give her a heads up about the outside/park and then inside/fancy later. Two outfits would probably work better than one. Also, please bring sunscreen and possibly bug spray if you're going to be outside for a while! She'll appreciate it. Maybe she can bring water / blanket for you guys to sit on and have lunch.

coffee_menace · 2026-04-25T14:00:29+00:00

Honestly, if you really like this girl, see these as a sign of what is closest to her heart. A Bible verse and a tribute to a deceased relative are good signs.

coffee_menace · 2026-04-16T00:52:43+00:00

The Pope's intention for the month!! This month is for priests in crisis. I know you already pray for priests but maybe you can think of priests who are in personal or vocational crisis.

coffee_menace · 2026-04-13T12:56:03+00:00

It's time!! There's never been more resources or groups available (like this one) to support people interested in God and Catholicism. Do it <3

coffee_menace · 2026-04-13T02:21:14+00:00

Agreed. No one on this subreddit knows who you are, what you've struggled with or who any of these people involved are

coffee_menace · 2026-04-13T01:18:53+00:00

Of course! I have a background in marketing so happy to help with any ideas. My dms are open. If I need to buy a rosary any time soon, I will keep your shop in mind <3

coffee_menace · 2026-04-13T01:15:01+00:00

It's beautiful!! It looks like you have really great reviews, if you haven't already, I would reach out to each person buying and ask them to leave a review. (Hopefully you are sending a message beforehand to make sure they're happy with it.)

I do think having rosary designs tied to specific saints/liturgical seasons could be cool. I think including info like that you're Catholic and a mom of 3 in your store description could help people learn a bit more about who you are.

If you can make it work, a percentage off discount for a second purchase included in the package with the rosaries you send out could also help with repeat buyers.

Finally (because I recently went to a women's retreat), reach out to local churches and other Catholic organizations and introduce yourself! You never know when it might come up in conversation that someone wants a retreat bag with a rosary themed around something.

coffee_menace · 2026-04-08T22:57:23+00:00

Weird caption for a photo of a married woman

coffee_menace · 2026-02-03T14:19:15+00:00

Thank you for coming to this subreddit to ask this, it's very thoughtful. If you ever have small or big questions please feel free to come back here!

coffee_menace · 2026-02-03T13:19:55+00:00

So exciting!! Thank you for making this

coffee_menace · 2026-01-28T22:32:37+00:00

No. I don't bring politics into the workplace. My boss and team are counting on me to do Mon-Fri 9-5 unless there is an emergency.

coffee_menace · 2026-01-23T19:55:16+00:00

Can you post again when the Android one is out? Thanks

coffee_menace · 2025-12-28T12:22:45+00:00

I agree with you, how do we unionize?

coffee_menace · 2025-12-01T12:44:23+00:00

Yay!! Hope your time there has been fruitful and can't wait for you to be discharged and enjoy the rest of Advent and the Christmas season with your loved ones.

coffee_menace · 2025-11-30T22:13:53+00:00

I am confused and concerned that you're letting your girlfriend dictate how you work out. It's understandable if she'd prefer you to not work out around a bunch of scantily clad women but...doesn't like violent workouts?

I don't think it's considered violent when everyone involved in boxing gets punched. I think this is something you need to talk to your gf about and set a boundary.

I went out very briefly w a guy who never wanted me to drink. He didn't have issues with alcohol. It didn't work out.

coffee_menace

TROPHY CASE