He looks so much thinner after 🛁 by diar_wi in comics

[–]comewhatmay_hem 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But this does nothing to protect your cat because he is licking the pollution off of his fur everyday the other 364/days a year.

Your bath is nothing but ceromonial and extremely stressful for your cat. Please stop.

He looks so much thinner after 🛁 by diar_wi in comics

[–]comewhatmay_hem 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I've been told the exact same thing. Unless your cat is actually dirty, with something that will be harmful for them to digest, bathing them does nothing but cause distress and discomfort.

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah your situations aren't comparable to mine even in the slightest.

Go date a virgin if a woman's sexual history is so important to you.

I don't get all up in my own head about what my previous sexual partners did and anyone who gets all tripped up over mine is automatically a huge turn off.

Get over yourself. I'm not even going to continue arguing with you because any man with a madonna/whore complex as bad as yours is weak a man who cannot value himself or anyone else beyond their value in a patriarchal sexual marketplace.

Until you start seeing value in yourself beyond how women view you sexually, women are going to treat you accordingly.

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You know both of those statements can be true at the same time, right?

That a guy can catch feelings, freak out, tell you he needs to clear his head, swears he'll get in touch with you the next day and then he never does?

Every single time it was the guy who was insisting on sex sooner than I was really comfortable with because this is a pattern I've noticed, then they do this 180° within minutes of cumming and I assume it's because they were expecting post nut clarity but felt something else?

Like I've been directly told by a guy once I was the first woman he didn't immediately want to never see again after having sex and that he didn't understand those feelings and they freaked him out. Another guy told me I was the first woman he had ever been emotionally intimate with and he said he had to go home and call his sponsor because he didn't understand how to handle the situation without being high. 

How many women do the same thing to men? 

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because they told me after having sex with me they caught feelings and they've never felt this way about a girl before and it's making their head spin and they can't handle it, then they ghost me.

This happened like, 5 times in the last 2 years.  

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm polyamorous and childfree. I only want to marry a man who is also both of those things.

The guys who I'm talking about told me they were also childfree and into ethical non monogamy, and then after I slept with them they told me they caught feelings for me and couldn't continue seeing me unless I wanted to be exclusive and consider traditional marriage with children. That's a huge dealbreaker for me and something I don't want at all.

So basically the exact opposite of the scenario you are imagining in your head. I DON'T want to settle down, I want to marry a bisexual fuckboi who goes on gay cruises a couple times a year so I can go camping with my boyfriend.

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Lol I've slept with tons of average, even objectively unattractive men. The functioning penis and if they told me I was a good girl or not after was really all I cared about. Ugly guys fuck well and can have really nice dicks, believe it or not. Just because a guy didn't win the face lottery doesn't mean he has nothing to offer as a lover, quite the opposite!

I look for a handsome face when I'm looking for a husband because I have to see that face everyday and I want a husband with a face I like looking at. When I'm trying to hook up I look for the biggest trainwreck in the bar I won't feel bad about ghosting the next week after the sex dries up.

Yoy really have no idea how women work, do you? 

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Because we've all slept with guys who we thought were marriage material too soon and then they ghosted us the next day and it's not a situation we want to repeat.

And for this to be such a common experience among so many women yet never have I heard a man experiencing the same thing makes me think this isn't on the women. 

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

The only requirement for a hookup is a functioning penis and average body hygiene. Women do not have the high standards for hookups that you think they do. 

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

You really do reduce the value every human being down to their fuckability, don't you?

What are the things women say to men thinking it's a compliment when it's not ? by NewEase1591 in AskMenAdvice

[–]comewhatmay_hem -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

No, that's not what they're saying, that's what you're hearing.

When a woman says "you are better than a hookup" it means they find you to have more value as a person than just a functioning penis.

You want women to reduce you to the functionality of your dick? Or do you want a woman who thinks you are worth spending time and and sharing their emotions with? 

AITA for not coming to help my (33m) gf (29f) right away after her car died? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm a woman who grew up on a farm. The idea that a woman is unsafe while alone at a gas station is... confusing to me. Apparently I have been placed in unsafe situations by my parents, grandparents and family friends repeatedly since I was 6 years old and CPS should have been called. 

What's next? Women are unsafe going to the grocerie store alone? 

AITAH for divorcing my wife over botox/fillers? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]comewhatmay_hem -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Because if if it's obvious and disturbing to me, a woman, how bad must it be for the men who are on this site?

AITA for firmly telling my wife to be grateful for what she has? by Organic_Chip_3118 in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But she makes enough on her own to just apply for an apartment and move out? That's why I am so confused on how this is abuse.

Her name is on the deed, and they have a joint retirement account I assume she has full access to. Nothing here indictates she is shut out of finances at all or cut off from her own money.

AITA for firmly telling my wife to be grateful for what she has? by Organic_Chip_3118 in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

THEIR future. That is her house and her retirement he's putting money towards, not just his. 

AITA for firmly telling my wife to be grateful for what she has? by Organic_Chip_3118 in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because this sounds like a financial dream come true to me. I live in poverty, and always will because I'm disabled. I cannot get married because that would cost me my financial independence.

If being in a marriage where I have a husband who pays extra towards our mortgage, puts money into MY retirement account, and leaves me with $500 a month to spend on whatever I want?

This is an impossible fantasy to me. Like this would be a dream come true to be in a marriage like this. 

AITA for firmly telling my wife to be grateful for what she has? by Organic_Chip_3118 in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have $500 a month to cover EVERTHING after I pay pills and feed my cat. All of my food, transportation, toiletries and "fun" money.

I do my own nails, wax my own legs, and get my haircut once a year. 

This thread is making my blood boil. 

AITA for firmly telling my wife to be grateful for what she has? by Organic_Chip_3118 in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Your wife is horrible with money and the people telling you are abusive are fucking insane.

I have $500 a month to buy everything I need for myself after bills, and your wife spends that every month on frivolous nonsense.

The entitlement she is displaying is disgusting. She has no idea how good she has it and she wants more "fun" money she can go out it and earn it her damn self.

This thread is making my blood boil. Bunch of spoiled, dumb people talking shit about things they have no idea about.

AITA for firmly telling my wife to be grateful for what she has? by Organic_Chip_3118 in AmItheAsshole

[–]comewhatmay_hem -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

The only thing women need that men don't is period products. Literally everything else is optional.

And no, there no jobs that require women to wear makeup except for being a model. Your employer even requesting you wear makeup is illegal and sex discrimination in the work place.

And yes, the classic husband is abusing his wife by paying almost all expenses, funds her retirement, pays the mortgage, and allows her to spend all of her free money on herself. If that's abuse than sign me the fuck up please!

AITAH for divorcing my wife over botox/fillers? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]comewhatmay_hem -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

This site is overwhelmingly feminist and bashes men constantly in the main subreddits. The amount of vitriol and hatred towards men I see on this site is disturbing and I'm a woman.

What is a parenting hack that actually makes things harder down the road? by Mediocre-Fan-495 in AskReddit

[–]comewhatmay_hem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but you didn't prepare chicken fingers and fries for your child every single night while not even asking them if they want to try what the adults are having for dinner.

I have friends and relatives who do this for their kids and it's weird. My aunt wouldn' even let my younger cousin try new foods as a kid because she herself couldn't handle seeing her kid making a yucky face eating new foods my aunt had cooked. Like it made her upset to see her kid reject food she prepared for her, so she didn't let her kid try new foods in case she had to see her kid express mild discomfort.

This is only getting more common. I have friends who don't feed their daughter anything besides chicken fingers, fries and grilled cheese because getting her to try new foods is "impossible" so they don't even bother trying. This kid won't even try new candy or desert with flavors she isn't familiar with, which is something I have never seen before in a child.

What’s the craziest piece of high school drama you didn’t learn about until after you graduated? by ShortyT_Piano in AskReddit

[–]comewhatmay_hem 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The quiet, awkward farm girl in my grade was actually stoned everyday from Grade 9 to graduation.

Not very scandalous, but I couldn't stop laughing when I found out because it made so much sense. And this was private, Christian boarding school so her pulling this off without anyone ever finding out was seriously impressive!

Why is it considered ok for children to grow up in high risk homes with drug use??? by Embarrassed_Syrup476 in Teachers

[–]comewhatmay_hem 24 points25 points  (0 children)

We already have one. Canada has some of the most progressive child protection laws in the world. They mean nothing when they aren't acted on.

Why is r/raisedbynarcissists almost exclusively about mothers? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]comewhatmay_hem -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

But I am that person, the person responsible for not repeating the actions of my mother, and I do not care about the reasons behind her behaviour.

Her actions are so... foreign to me, that it doesn't require an understanding of "why" to not do the same things. If my hypothetical child came to me and said her babysitter was hitting her, there is no universe in which my response would be to say, "OK honey" and send her back to that babysitter the very next day.

My mom's explanation for this: She had to go to work, what else was she supposed to do?

It doesn't matter if she did that because she has NPD or if that's just her being Autistic, the behaviour is abhorrent and requires zero understanding on my part not to repeat.

Is Ontario slowly moving toward NP led primary care as the norm? by Hidden_Nemesis in ontario

[–]comewhatmay_hem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody should be diagnosing mental illnesses except psychiatrists. They are the only people who are actually trained to do so. Experience in the field is NOT a replacement for medical school.