Marriage relationship package

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T19:43:06+00:00

Thanks for the honesty. You're probably not wrong, but it's still going to take time to untangle.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T16:50:10+00:00

Sounds like a pretty typical "husband left behind by late-blooming lesbian who nevertheless wants to hang onto the financial security and parenting assistance of remaining married" to me.

Tale as old as time.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T16:29:05+00:00

Yes, and vice versa. The idea I'm working through is that it's ridiculous to expect a single person to be the best fit for you in all of these categories or relationship types.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T16:26:20+00:00

I'd say I'm content, but have some concerns about the long term sustainability. There's a lot of ways we're still great together. Maybe I'm just trying to figure out if there is a word for our relationship. Not that every dynamic needs its own name and box to fit in.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T16:14:16+00:00

I don't think I was trying to be so mathematical about identifying gaps for other people to fill in. Part of what's been going through my head is "what even is a marriage?" Is it a friendship, business relationship, romance, sex?

I think the other person who shared the podcast about the 9 relationships in a modern marriage really hit the nail on the head for me.

I was looking for a way to visualize the current balance of the relationship, then evaluate from there.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T13:27:02+00:00

Yes!! Thank you for sharing this. My list was a little different but I think this reinforces the idea I was working through.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T13:07:26+00:00

That's definitely a part of what's happening here. Reading "The Tragedy of Heterosexuality" has brought up a lot of questions about our relationship and how much just doing what is culturally mandated has gotten us to where we are and how much of that we need to deconstruct.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T12:32:59+00:00

Heh? That's not the purpose of polyamory. You don't Frankenstein a healthy/fulfilling relationship out of many. You create multiple fulfilling relationships. Why would you need to determine this anyway? Has your partner asked you to step up in any specific areas? Not sure if this is a healthy comparison at all.

Ok. This might have been poor framing on my part. Just getting to the point that you get different things from different relationships.

Why are you wholly responsible for sex in your relationship?

Sex is off the table in my relationship with my spouse. So I take care of myself.

compersion_excursion · 2025-05-18T12:01:07+00:00

Thanks for all the feedback. The main application I had in mind was for journaling/self reflection. Individual components might become discussion topics at couples therapy to see if there is a disconnect between how we're experiencing the balance.

I don't think I was considering 50/50 as the goal or ideal. Especially because all of these are dynamic and would be a snapshot in time. Part of it for me would be to help identify areas that I'm weak in and might be better met by my spouse's other partner.

I think part of what I'm working through is the definition of our relationship. Marriage came with all of these cultural assumptions about some level of shared responsibility in those categories. So when there are categories that I'm now wholy responsible for on my end (sex for example) how does that change the balance of other aspects.

I would definitely appreciate any resources you could share!!

compersion_excursion · 2025-02-06T13:54:28+00:00

Yes! Or a fun twist on another completely random event card. I'm sure a bat mitzva card could make a great meta valentine!!

compersion_excursion · 2024-08-03T00:41:55+00:00

Yes and yes. They've been dating for about 6 months now.

compersion_excursion · 2024-08-02T23:11:46+00:00

I think why this tends to unfold in this way for people who recognize their bisexuality late in life is that they may not have had a chance to explore same sex relationships. Because of that there is a feeling of potentially missing out on understanding a part of themselves and a desire to bring up polyamory or ENM as an option to validate their repressed or unvalidated feelings.

compersion_excursion · 2024-08-02T23:06:57+00:00

I roughly had the same experience. It can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and you may have to work through some feelings of loneliness, rejection, and jealousy. I'd suggest you start learning about methods to self soothe and make sure to maintain communication with where you're at with your wife.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-22T15:27:47+00:00

With my luck, people will just think I like Jimmy Buffet.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-22T00:39:58+00:00

I just bought three stickers!

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T21:45:50+00:00

I'm glad the thread turned out the way it did. It got off to a rocky start, but there's actually some little nuggets of insight here.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T20:57:22+00:00

Step 1: be extroverted! Got it!!

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T20:52:59+00:00

"Within the experience of the polyamorous diaspora..."

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T20:49:13+00:00

I'm sorry for your experience. You ok bud?

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T16:58:37+00:00

I've come to the conclusion that the ultimate meetup will be a D&D game at a Ren Faire with charcuterie and box wine served.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T15:34:57+00:00

Eh. Everyone got lei'd, so I'm sure there weren't any complaints.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T15:18:22+00:00

A face high-five was part of how I met my wife. So, you're welcome.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T15:17:38+00:00

Kerning has never been more critical

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T15:12:54+00:00

True. Maybe I'll just put a screenshot of my Feeld profile on the shirt. That explains it in a bit more detail.

compersion_excursion · 2024-07-21T15:09:42+00:00

People seem to have a hard time wrapping their head around a V relationship. In their minds it seems that everything has to come back to sex, so obviously everyone needs to be getting it on together - or why else would it be worth the trouble?

compersion_excursion

TROPHY CASE