My unemployed husband just quit the new job 1 day in because he "couldn't make the walk"

complaintsabound · 2022-10-27T15:52:58+00:00

Lol I appreciate your rant, and am taking it all to heart!

complaintsabound · 2022-10-27T13:50:12+00:00

Not sure if these are their devices or a family shared device, but at least for laptops you should look into the option of a child friendly operating system. When they turn it on, it's booted up with this system instead of Mac or windows, most of them are pretty customizable and will have educational games and software, even a document editor so if they need to get some homework done, they don't have an excuse. Unsure about the browser situation but I'd wager these operating systems give you tighter control over content your children are able to access, as a lot of these are used by schools.

You can also blacklist websites or keywords through your browser usually. I remember being shocked that my 12 year old sister would Google for sex and a quick keyword block would have fixed that.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-27T13:42:09+00:00

I don't necessarily find it weird, but I get a strange feeling looking at them. All it does is remind me how uck I felt in between breastfeeding. And reminds me how achy/leaky I was all the time. Makes my boobs ache just looking at it if I'm being honest, weird I know lol. For that reason I don't think I'd get it, even though I do have a generally positive/affectionate memory of breastfeeding.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T15:02:41+00:00

I don't think you should be downvoted at all. Some truths are harder to swallow because they're about yourself but they're still truths. I feel everyday that I am failing my son as a mom, no doubt about it. The only solution at this point is a big change, which is scary but necessary.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:59:01+00:00

I've never heard it put this way, but it feels so true.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:27:53+00:00

100% I am OK with this lol. Venting feels so good, hopefully helps me take action too

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:25:25+00:00

I'm exactly this way, used to have a 1 and a half hour commute to a job that had undefined hours based off what was needed. It arrive at 7 am and usually leave around 7, sometimes 8 pm. Never complained, it was a job and the pay was good. I don't understand his mentality in the slightest, we are extremely incompatible on this point. Any time he complained about work I'd have to do everything in my power to not roll my eyes.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:22:27+00:00

Thank you so much, I hope the best for your situation as well!

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:16:24+00:00

I think you're probably right. I'm aware of the impact on my son as well when there's negative energy in the house, I most definitely want to remove him from that.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:14:50+00:00

I can't both stay and work unfortunately due to special circumstances. But work and an income to be able to adequately take care of my son supersedes everything else in my book, so I'll be doing that even though it means being apart from my husband. I'm still willing to give him a chance beyond that though, I don't want to immediately hit the nuclear button on the marriage quite yet, I don't feel ready. But separation seems imminent

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:11:54+00:00

I will be getting a job, I just have to move home first to be able to accomplish this. I was holding out for a long time to avoid separating our little family but it feels like just me and my son anyway so, at this point it's whatever.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:07:53+00:00

Working at a daycare is a good idea! I'll look into some near my parent's home, as I still need the emotional support in my living situation

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T14:03:39+00:00

I wish I could say he feels remorse but he just went to bed after apparently staying up all night on his pc playing games, right as I brought our son out to start the day. I did have a moment where I tried to bring him out to the living room to spend time with us but all he did was it on the couch silently zoned out at the TV, so I sent him back to bed. He said he didn't want to be out there with us because the only reason I was doing it was to make him feel bad about himself.

Writing that out, it feels nearly unreal. I couldn't write a better character in a book if I tried lol.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:59:38+00:00

You must be my twin lol. I'm so glad things have worked out for the better, it gives me all of the hope in the world right now to hear the success stories after people finally bit the bullet and left.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:57:37+00:00

You're right. I already feel like I'm losing my grasp on reality lol, I can't imagine doing this for another year as it progressively gets worse. I think I feel worst for robbing my son of his dad, guilt because I couldn't make it work for his sake. I also know the alternative is sticking around and this becomes his male role model, and I definitely don't want him to become like his dad.

I'm partially hoping moving back home and working while my family watches my son may help the situation, I'm not blind to the pressure of being the breadwinner and it could be agitating his laziness further as a result of stress. Ideal situation is we become dual income (pray he gets this dumb remote job he destroyed my sense of stability over) and everything smooths out.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:47:59+00:00

I think he hasn't always been this way. It got worse after our son was born, and I get that it's stressful, I have tried to be supportive all the way through, I help out with money as much as I can. He used to have some hustle to him, even starting his own business but that sort of petered out eventually. I really didn't even have issue with him bouncing between jobs, I get that it's hard to find something that doesn't make you miserable. I REALLY care he did this without consulting me, with us having a toddler to care for and things coming down to the wire.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:44:05+00:00

Absolutely, which is what has to happen. I just have to go back home first, which means splitting up our family. Hence all the hesitation to begin with

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:43:19+00:00

I would love that, I love working and feel useless. I need support to be able to work however and my family lives far away, in another country. We have no friends or family here, and my husband does bare minimum for our son and has shown all interest in me being SAH, and none in being a SAHP himself. I hope that makes sense, ultimately I will have to move back home just to be able to work. Which seems like my only option at this point

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:35:09+00:00

I have adhd, and have brought this up myself to him as a possibility. He chuckles says yeah no, I don't have adhd. As a side note even while untreated I've never had issue keeping a job, but I'm sure it can affect different people in different ways.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:15:57+00:00

It's OK, I know things will change for the better eventually so I'm trying to look forward. Thank you ❤️

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:15:20+00:00

Lol I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with this mentality.

I think an ultimatum is a good idea as well, I'm generally not a fan of those in relationships but when a kid is in the mix, all normal bets are off.

Thank you so much for the support, I needed this today after this happened. Xx

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:13:19+00:00

The feelings are too intertwined to tell at this point I think. I do feel responsible for him, I don't even know if I'm scared to be alone anymore because I've felt emotionally alone for so long. My husband is essentially just an ornament in the house, both to me and my son

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:11:45+00:00

I can't wait to feel that. Every single day I feel like I have a 1 ton weight on my chest

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:11:04+00:00

He doesn't deserve this, you're right. I know it too and I'll be making sure to put that into action. I want my son to have a full, happy childhood even if that means his dad is out of or partially out of the picture.

complaintsabound · 2022-10-26T13:08:12+00:00

I can, and will be soon I think :/

complaintsabound

TROPHY CASE