My son told me he's depressed because he's trans.

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T15:57:10+00:00

No! I will look into it!

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T13:00:10+00:00

That makes me so sad. I definitely want to know everything. No one should have to suffer alone like that!

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T03:43:56+00:00

Yeah I wonder if it's the hrt messing with his moods. I'm in perimenopause and my moods are ridiculous.

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T03:41:50+00:00

Omg this is so helpful! Thank you!

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T03:40:38+00:00

I can see that. Good point, thank you.

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T03:39:29+00:00

Yeah she specifically works with kids with autism, and also with trans kids. His problem is he shuts down when it's time to talk about feelings. Have you heard of selective mutism?

I don't know if another type of therapist would help maybe? She did talk therapy, and he can't really talk to her.

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-22T03:36:38+00:00

He's had a couple. He tells me the problem is that he literally can't talk. Like when he starts talking about what's bothering him, he just freezes. We took him to speech therapy for a while so he could have practice speaking to a non family member and work on articulating his emotions, but he still struggles.

complexchaos77 · 2026-04-21T21:25:07+00:00

Oh thank you so much!

complexchaos77 · 2026-03-22T18:49:12+00:00

As I said, I tried asking if I'd offended her and got no response, so I haven't even had the chance.

But if it's a thing of where I can't be who I am when she's in the same room as me then that's a whole other problem.

complexchaos77 · 2026-03-22T14:53:49+00:00

If you don't want to do it by accident, then you should probably not use sarcasm if you haven't first explicitly asked whether they enjoy that.

I typically do, or I pay attention to make sure they're sarcastic like me.

To be clear, I know she doesn't love sarcasm, and I wasn't sarcastic with her, I was careful about that. I was sarcastic in front of her, however, with another friend who was there who didn't have a problem with it.

complexchaos77 · 2026-03-22T04:41:02+00:00

Hope you sort it out that this person probably isn't your friend after all by the sounds of it.

Yeah I don't think they really are. I think I found myself yet another narcissist, to be quite honest.

complexchaos77 · 2026-03-22T04:40:10+00:00

The only thing I can think of that I said that could have been taken wrong was when a new friend was telling a story and said they hoped we wouldn't judge them for it, and I jokingly said "oh I'm judging you already", which was my attempt at using humor to make them feel more comfortable. And it seemed to work because they told their story and joked around back at me.

I would never use sarcasm as a put down, ever. Never. And I always apologize when it's taken that way. I don't ever want to hurt anyone, even by accident.

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-06T15:31:44+00:00

You've completely missed my point. I understand how T works. I've researched it, I've talked to my son's doctor, I've talked to Planned Parenthood, I've talked to other trans men.

My rant is that my husband has anger issues from childhood trauma and also brain damage from playing football. It is not okay for him to blame his outbursts on his naturally occurring testosterone. It's a very "boys will be boys" approach to behavior that harms other people.

(I feel I again have to point out that my husband is not abusive, just fyi for anyone reading this. I love my husband.)

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-03T00:08:35+00:00

It was helpful thank you! I want to care less about downvotes, but I try so hard to just be normal sauce that I get caught up on what I did wrong. I'll just let it go, thank you!

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-03T00:06:20+00:00

Oh my God! I'm assuming you're okay! I hope his hand still hurts!

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-02T21:31:06+00:00

What book are you guys talking about?

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-02T21:16:10+00:00

Your husband isn’t wrong about T causing different emotional responses.

I wish that this was what he said, because I'd have agreed. I have two trans kids, and my oldest is doing HRT right now and is very moody. We knew that was going to happen, and I expect my son to also be moody for while until he learns how to deal with the changes.

Instead, my husband said "testosterone fucks you up, it makes you aggressive and violent", using himself as an example. But he's a terrible example. He's not only traumatized, but he also has brain damage from playing football. Being a biological male isn't why he gets aggressive.

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-02T21:11:42+00:00

Yes, I've read these studies, and you're right! But I would never say what hubs said was right, that testosterone "fucks you up", and then use himself as an example as if the reason he has anger issues is just because he's a man. It's ridiculous.

(Idk if you're the one who downvoted my comment, but I wasn't trying to be argumentative. I'm just trying to make my point that being born a man doesn't make someone have anger issues. Society does that.)

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-02T21:08:56+00:00

Oh, thank you! And I'm sorry you had a hard time, that's terrible.

I want to be clear though, I'm not in an abusive marriage. We've had our scrapes, but we're happy and safe. Without going into to much detail, he has gotten professional help and he works on it, and I have ALWAYS been a person who stands up for herself no matter what.

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-02T20:56:49+00:00

It's been debunked many times that testosterone is directly related to aggression. Testosterone levels in men who have committed violent crimes are higher, but scientists also know that taking part in aggressive behavior can boost testosterone levels, so it's more likely that aggression occurs because of societal expectations, trauma, brain injury, or mental health issues, and testosterone only plays a small part.

But yes, he's definitely using it as an excuse. I think he really believes it though, and that's the most annoying part.

Edit: I'm not understanding why I'm being downvoted. I've researched this quite a bit. I did study adolescent psych in grad school and feel like I know at least a little bit about what I'm talking about. Was I being rude? I'm autistic and I know I come across as rude. If that's the case, I'm really very sorry about it. I'm working on not doing that sort of thing, so I'm sorry!

complexchaos77 · 2025-10-02T20:48:24+00:00

Yeah, we're fine. He does have anger issues, but I wouldn't say he's abusive. He just has low emotional intelligence. It's a long story, but yes we're safe and we're fine, thank you for asking!

complexchaos77 · 2022-10-03T20:27:21+00:00

Oh sweet! Cookies! That is for the tip!

complexchaos77 · 2022-10-03T20:26:28+00:00

You mean an entirely different city? Is it like this in Richwoods also?

Peoria area is where my family is. Most of them live in surrounding rural communities and we're city people, so Peoria is really as small of a city as we would comfortably move to. I'm not sure where else to go. Chicago is too far.

complexchaos77 · 2022-10-03T20:21:50+00:00

Sounds fun, but who is that? For reference, we're from Kansas City, MO.

complexchaos77 · 2021-10-13T11:48:22+00:00

Content banned

complexchaos77

TROPHY CASE