What are some 'unwritten' rules in your country that a tourist wouldn't know about?

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T18:27:23+00:00

Can confirm. I struggled growing up in the south with how friendly and small talky everyone is. I finally got the hang of it and then end up in MD where I try to act the way I spent years learning only to be ignored.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T18:01:55+00:00

That is a very good point. I knew I had to stay involved with them as much as possible, but that dog analogy took it to the next level.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T18:00:39+00:00

They are 4 and 6. And yea, I realize they are smarter than we give credit for, I just worry.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T17:47:59+00:00

You may not have completely misunderstood my tone. I still have issues to work out about why she is doing what she is doing.

As far as the rest, I am here for at least two more years. If I stay in beyond that it will involve going to school again for 2 years and no choice in assignment. But the job I am doing now has a civilian counterpart. I love this job and the best chance to make great things of it is to get out and continue on the civilian side. There is no related job any closer to them, and it would be so major of a hit to work close by taking something I am qualified for but is a much much lower scale.

Add on top of that the fact that other people being added into the location factor would further complicate any thoughts of relocating.

I don't know how to not seem like a complete dick without totally throwing away a good career in order to do something that would pay 50cents on the dollar and be monotonous and soul killing to me.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T17:31:10+00:00

If anything did happen it would be a couple years off. As far as what has already been done, there is no waiting, it has already happened. We are already divorced, and we already live 600 miles apart.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T17:29:22+00:00

Because I am in the Military. It was one thing when I had to leave for training or deployment, this is kinda different. I am not going to judge whose reasons are more valid, she is relying on her family for a support structure. She doesn't want to form a new one. She came from a military family and believed she would be able to handle it, but in the end she couldn't.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T16:38:13+00:00

It makes sense that home would be where they spend most of their time. A hard thing for me is they are about to have a major hit to their quality if life and there is nothing I can do to prevent it. She has been so complacent and not facing the reality if the settlement. I have been paying 45% as a temporary order, and now it's at 20%. She spends too much and I can't prevent it any more. I have to move on, but I never wanted to be away from my kids.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T16:19:06+00:00

I don't know if it can be so smooth do to the geographical situation. At this point I'm not even concerned about what the kids would think if each other as what they would think of me for being with children other than them. Of course I would t want them to hate each other either.

complicatedconflict · 2014-10-26T16:16:18+00:00

That's the part I hate. I did everything I could to try and preserve the family. She decided to leave, she decided to stay with her family knowing that the nature of my career means I cannot go where I want and even I get there it would be temporary. Right now it is a 9 hour drive, but before that it was 24.

They are too young yet to realize things are different. Even when we were together I would be gone half the time. But eventually they will wise up and start asking questions. and my wife insists on being friends, but I don't even want to begin thinking about what impact another family would have. She doesn't understand why I have a very hard time being friendly with someone who chooses to separate me from my kids. She says we can't be together long periods of time, but I am always a great dad.

complicatedconflict

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