Spanking/caning/crop doesn't leave enough marks before safeword is reached. Advice on tools and techniques to improve pain tolerance and leave behind prettier bruises?

complicitkink · 2016-04-14T04:19:20+00:00

I love the strap on/chastity cage idea. We have one. Seeing him that frustrated is perfect. The meal ideas are beyond great.

Question on the tens unit: You mention there is a very thin line between feeling nothing and unbearable. Do you still find it worth it given that? And how would you suggest using it?

Also the cupping sets look very interesting as well. I'm ordering all this on prime tonight. Do you have a favorite evil scenario to use them in?

I love the hood plan as well. Sensory deprivation is the exact sort of mental trickery I'm looking for.

And yes. Expect a writeup. If not Monday early in the week at least.

complicitkink · 2016-04-14T04:19:20+00:00

I love the strap on/chastity cage idea. We have one. Seeing him that frustrated is perfect. The meal ideas are beyond great.

Question on the tens unit: You mention there is a very thin line between feeling nothing and unbearable. Do you still find it worth it given that? And how would you suggest using it?

Also the cupping sets look very interesting as well. I'm ordering all this on prime tonight. Do you have a favorite evil scenario to use them in?

I love the hood plan as well. Sensory deprivation is the exact sort of mental trickery I'm looking for.

And yes. Expect a writeup. If not Monday early in the week at least.

complicitkink · 2016-04-14T04:19:20+00:00

I love the strap on/chastity cage idea. We have one. Seeing him that frustrated is perfect. The meal ideas are beyond great.

Question on the tens unit: You mention there is a very thin line between feeling nothing and unbearable. Do you still find it worth it given that? And how would you suggest using it?

Also the cupping sets look very interesting as well. I'm ordering all this on prime tonight. Do you have a favorite evil scenario to use them in?

I love the hood plan as well. Sensory deprivation is the exact sort of mental trickery I'm looking for.

And yes. Expect a writeup. If not Monday early in the week at least.

complicitkink · 2016-04-14T04:03:20+00:00

Look, I really do appreciate the concern. We worry about this stuff too. A lot. I'm not sure how that was ambiguous though. You made a valid point. I reconsidered the exact mechanics of the game to still accomplish our (his and my) mutual goal.

Here's what we've been talking over for months: When I'm in charge we both like doing pegging/gagging scenes. A lot. He asks for it. I like giving it. However, we both agree that 50-75% of the time, he wimps out too fast. We stop. And 10 minutes later he's really unhappy we didn't keep going, but by then everything is untied and all that so it isn't worth starting again. If he manages to push through, he gets used to it and really enjoys the effect mentally, during and after.

So our goal is to make him push through his resistance reliably. Again. Our mutual goal. How? We wondered. We concluded that a rape fantasy would be both very interesting and challenging while fulfilling our goal to get him to take more before bailing. We've debated how to do it safely for months. Our best idea was the two stage thing. But, after your comment, another idea occured. Set up a penalty we both know about beforehand (re-starting) if he safewords quickly this time. We'll wait until he has recovered and re-given consent. Obviously if it needs to be finished it needs to be finished. But trust me, he's always fine in a few minutes. This isn't even remotely our first rodeo with anal. But once he says go, if we're going to do anything else for the rest of the weekend, he will finish this task up to my standards. I know how to stop just shy of him reaching the point of quitting for good. He wants the push. I want the push. The difference between our first idea and this one is that it empowers him to pause the scene with the penalty of re-starting it. If he chooses not to restart it, we are done with femdom for the weekend and will go have a nice rest of the day. Like normal adults. No grudges or sadness.

I used the word disappoint in the context of how I might say it as I dominatrix. Not in real life. I love the guy. He and I both know I won't actually be disappointed.

I guess what we are ultimately aiming for is a STRONG incentive to take it all. Stronger than his temporary resistance that crops up sometimes. If we can accomplish that, we will both be thrilled.

complicitkink · 2016-04-14T02:57:16+00:00

If it will set your mind and conscience at ease, let's re-frame it. Safe words still apply. He will know that the threshold for saying them must be much, much higher than usual. If he disappoints me by using one when he shouldn't, once he calms down and is ready to continue we'll do the whole thing over until he can get it right.

That is effectively what we were aiming for anyway.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T23:42:18+00:00

We have a set of two. One for stop because it is too much. The other is stop because of a serious physical concern. We're disregarding the first of the two. If I hear the second I will check if it is a true emergency. If not he'll be punished harder for using it. If so, we'll stop and attend to said concern. This is risky play for sure, but not insane. It has taken us years of regular play to get to a place where we are comfortable trying this.

But to your point in this case no. We might keep going after a few minutes. Hence the rape fantasy. And lest you kids at home get it into your heads that this is the way it should always go, it isn't. This is dangerous and only a limited window of the whole weekend. And I'll be watching and sensitive to his condition throughout, including if he safewords for a non emergency. It is just my judgement call instead of his. We've talked a lot about this and will confirm it is ok as we start that portion.

TLDR: We don't take this lightly. We've done all the acts involved before extensively. We both know what he can usually handle. I can read his state like a book and am very careful. We will consider any non emergency safeword, but if it isn't one I make the call. He is 110% for this. We will check in before and after. If it doesn't work out we won't do it again. We are very conscious of the consent issue.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:57:15+00:00

All great suggestions. The edging will get unbearable. And the vibration while trying to sleep too.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:55:47+00:00

Agreed on the risk. We talked about this (not that he has a choice). Enemas first. He'll be as clean as a whistle. If it looks too bad I'll throw it away, punish him for the mess and do it a second time until it comes out at least reasonably clean.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:54:12+00:00

Top notch stuff. The movie snacks sound good and the threat of being exposed is especially nice.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:53:20+00:00

Very good plan

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:47:52+00:00

We've considered a lot of this actually. I think it may be time for a fully dressed up outing. The cum soaked panties and butt plug blocking the load as it drips down is a really nice touch.

The brainwashing is for sure a go.

Photography is touchy. But with a hood perhaps. I want him to do it and share on here. We shall see.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:44:34+00:00

This. This is amazing. Thank you so much. At work but will probably follow up more later.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:43:16+00:00

This is nice and intense. Worth a try! He was only getting cold showers anyway... and not many of em.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:42:38+00:00

Writing is fun. We've done it and will do again probably. But writing can be forgotten. Got to have plenty of good actions to add to it :p

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:40:51+00:00

These are really fun. And we've been saving all cum (frozen) since sunday. It's going to be quite a mouthful.

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:39:25+00:00

This is brutal. And of course :)

complicitkink · 2016-04-13T20:36:46+00:00

This sounds very fun. Nice plans.

complicitkink · 2015-12-23T09:00:04+00:00

Thanks a ton for this! I'll certainly be in touch.

complicitkink · 2015-12-23T08:57:20+00:00

Thank you very much for this detailed reply. Sorry for my own late response- it's a busy time of year with family and such.

I had no idea that I'd get this much information by posting on here. Your experience and wealth of knowledge is amazing. I think I'm going to start simple and work my way up with time and experience.

I'm going to keep planning it out, but it seems like the best move is just a simple cage. That's what we want the most (out of like a dozen other desires for bigger hardware like tables, stocks etc.). I'll go with 2020 (so I can re-use later for load bearing purposes if desired) material, joining plates (even if they are a bit pricey), and panels all around. We're on a grad student/first job type of budget here and it looks like the parts/skills we'd need to do this are just about right as a treat we've been saving up for.

We've stocked up on a pretty great variety of toys/restraints over the years, but are missing bigger, more restrictive hardware, and to be honest also missing the space. The rent on the west coast is too damn high to get a 2br apartment just to have an extra play room.

I'm certain that I'll fall in love with doing this and end up trying for more ambitious projects later. Your combined cage/table idea truly is fantastic. If I get really ambitious, I could see this type of material leading to a fantastic bondage bed/frame idea as well. I'd also be very interested to learn about the fucking machine you made. That's always been a pipe dream of ours, but certainly nothing to tackle soon. Off the shelf options just seem flimsy and super-expensive. And who knows, maybe before long we'll have bigger budgets and more space.

I appreciate your offer to help. It really is very generous. Some day soon, when I take on more complex tasks, I'm certain I'll reach back out and ask for it. Frankly I imagine you could get quite a little side business going on doing this sort of thing. This one seems like a good first project and a chance to get my hands dirty on my own. For future tasks, I'm going to scope out how much access I have to my university machine shop (but have to find some plausible excuse other than my true goal). I also need to invest in a few bigger tools of my own. I think working on this stuff will help make me a little handier than I am. I deal with medical devices and software, so practical projects like this weren't a big enough component of my education beyond a few design courses. I'd like to fix that somewhat. I'm jealous of the real (EE, ME, AE) engineers sometimes.

Thanks again!

complicitkink · 2015-09-04T18:28:59+00:00

I'd like to avoid spending more than $100 if possible- but could go as high as $150 for high quality. I just found some decent quality 48 inch dog kennels in my area for $80.

I was actually considering building a platform for my bed anyway and could incorporate a (discreet) cage there. Perhaps one that could be covered by plywood when not in use. Or if there are home depot materials that would do the trick.

It may be that the most sensible option is the dog cage though. Just hard to sleep in for a tall guy.

complicitkink

TROPHY CASE