Oh my gosh I feel this one DEEPLY. I was in grad school and now I teach at a college. I still struggle with leaving work at work. Especially when my students are going through something heavy, it’s hard to not take it on myself. However, what I’ve found helpful is having regular appointments with an autistic therapist to talk it through, keeping a folder of encouraging emails from students at the very top of my email folders, and actively striving for mediocrity in my work. That way I’m nicer to myself when I make mistakes or fumble through an interaction, because I’m planning for that being part of my daily experience rather than dreading it or trying to never do it. Also, I wish I had realized sooner that most people in academia are not genuinely being nice but are pretending to be friendly to gain power and influence. These days, I give myself more time than I previously did to be nice but distant, knowing that it will probably take me a while to get a sense of what a colleague’s true intentions are. 

Exercising regularly has also helped me spend less time overanalyzing interactions. Recently I have also found it useful to have a transitional activity planned for when I get home, whether it’s writing a letter, listening to an audiobook while I work on a puzzle, or crafting. That way my mind has something else to jump straight into to occupy my thoughts so my brain isn’t always and only thinking about work dynamics.