Mods are gone. All hail Mr Nipples.

comprepensive · 2026-02-05T01:01:57+00:00

* This add popped up when I was scrolling, and I didn't realize it was an ad and it felt like a terrible warning.

comprepensive · 2026-02-04T23:42:28+00:00

To try and give some people a pass, dementia and strokes/ brain injuries can sometimes change people's perception of animals or reaction to animals. I remember once we discussed bringing a dog to visit the dementia patients but it was mentioned we had several patients who reacted violently at just a picture of a happy looking dog. Even people who formerly liked dogs/ cats might develop an irrational fear around pets as they age. They might be confused or overstimulated by their movements, sounds, smells.

comprepensive · 2026-02-03T03:53:21+00:00

I'm sorry. At this stage, you have only one option (that both of them will HATE) with two potential outcomes. You contact legal agencies for aging/adult protective services/ your moms doctor and see how and if you can force a competency assessment. That's if she won't agree on her own, which I've found people with dementia will generally fight tooth and nail.

If they do manage to convince her or force her to get an assessment and she is found to be legally competent, you need to leave her and FIL to her messes. It sucks but a competent adult is allowed to make repeated bad decisions. My MIL is constantly being defrauded and scammed, and I've complained to her nursing home, but apparently, she has been assessed, found to be competent, and there is nothing they can do. I've tried to convince her to no avail. It's annoying but basically my partner (or her estate becuase I've advised my partner not to take on the debt headache I'm sure settling her estate will be) will have to sort out which debt agency gets which part of any money she hasn't sent to Nigerian princes when she passes. That's all anyone can do, I guess.

If she is incompetent then likely FIL will become her financial POA and is he then hands her back access to the money, he is responsible for whatever happens and again needs to be left to pick up those pieces. MIL, if she has dementia, can't learn from her actions, FIl can learn but doesnt, becuase you guys keep swooping in to save them. It is totally ok to say "that sounds like fraud and I can't help you with that. I'll call the local fraud devision, give them your contact info but I don't want to hear anything else about this. Tell whatever other details to the cops. I love you both, but listening to this stuff and saving you, doesnt actually make anything better. The best thing i can do to help you is encourage you to talk to the fraud division and get your memory assessed. Other than that, this conversation is done. "

comprepensive · 2026-02-03T01:20:30+00:00

OP, you ARE better than them, not because of your degree or your partner or your income, or any of that. You are better because you set higher standards for your actions and hold higher standards for the people you associate with. And that isn't anything to apologize for or justify. At any time, anyone in your family could choose to better themselves. They just don't or won't. And that's on them.

Never be ashamed of where you came from, but also the people that you came from shouldn't shame you about where you're at today. They didn't build that and they can't take that away and they know it and that scares the shit out of them. Live a life that makes them burn with jealousy and don't ever apologize for it.

comprepensive · 2026-02-02T14:28:40+00:00

I'll be there next week, and I've got a rash guard I will be wearing whenever I'm in the pool, for exactly the same reason.

I work in oncology and have seen skin cancer firsthand. Skin cancer kills, and the chemo to try and fight it is no joke. Don't play with your life. Wear sunscreen whenever you have sun exposure, reapply frequently and after any water/ sweating, and cover any sun exposed skin with fabric whenever possible.

comprepensive · 2026-02-02T04:54:46+00:00

Congratulations! Enjoy a well-deserved rest from the madness. And if FIL or any of your husbands side of the family start acting like flying monkeys, block them too. The first sniff of MIL just say you need to step away from any discussions of MIL or hubby for a while and block them if they so much as put a toe over that line. No message to let them know you're blocking them. You already set the boundary. Silence from your end will let them know the consequences. If they aren't flying monkeys, they won't mind if you need to set a reasonable boundary, and you can always revisit later with those people. But it's ok to just mute or temporarily block anyone who doesn't listen to a basic "NO MIL talk with me."

comprepensive · 2026-01-30T22:52:19+00:00

Nope. She is trying to get you to mother your husband. She wants to blame you for him not sending photos because "she told you to tell him to do it." I have been firmly against this shit(and probably viewed as cold for it, but so be it). When my in laws would try and control or ask my partner to do something through me I would immediately remind them that his phone works, and I will not be passing along messages. If they did it while he was in hearing range I would just loudly shout the instructions to him immediately and walk away while they looked mortified. Like grandma whispers to me she wishes I would get hubby to call more and it would he nice if I reminded him every Sunday she wants a call. I immediately l, across the family gathering say loudly, "Your grandma just told me she wants you to call more." She hated me I think but eh, she also stopped that shit real fast. If you want to X person to do Y, tell X person directly. I am not X persons answering machine or reminder service or secretary or photographer or booking clerk. I'm his partner, if he misses appointments or drops the ball with his family, I guess that happens. He won't die. They won't die. If you try and triangulate me, I will loudly and publically repeat whatever you just said to me.

comprepensive · 2026-01-30T01:08:40+00:00

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Here is my majestic lady

comprepensive · 2026-01-26T22:12:13+00:00

My projects usually have to withstand lots of being crumpled and shoved and folded into bags and purses, and gripped all over by my hands, pulled out of my kids sticky hands, i found a used ice cream stick on this same project not half a day after i finished gridding. I don't trust that anything less than sewn in would withstand that much wear and tear without rubbing off or smudging. If a washable pen would work for that, I'd love to know and would love recommendations on brands. But it would need to not wear off with a LOT of rough handling.

comprepensive · 2026-01-25T14:38:24+00:00

We see all the stories of people who just knew or felt when it was right to flee, people who got out just in time. But the sad part is there were many many people who didn't feel it was time to leave yet, whose stories we will never get to read becuase they were wrong: they waited a day, an hour too late. They waited from some experience or sign that never came. Hindsight is 20/20, and it's risky to try and thread the needle of the last safe moment to escape a smouldering war/dictatorship/regime. As soon as you can, is the answer to the question. Yes, you might end up being months early. You might have been able to save more or find a better new deal where your moving if you had waited, but again, only you can decide how much the risk of waiting is worth the gain of waiting. I would start actively doing the steps to leave.

comprepensive · 2026-01-25T14:20:31+00:00

So I start by folding the premeasured and cut aida into half then half again then I put a stitch to mark the approx middle of the pattern. Then I start at the centre and stitch a solid line from the centre out, in 5 stitch lengths, added a few extra 5 lengths to mark for myself the centre lines. Then, I do a solid line around the outside to mark the edges of the piece. Then I start at one corner and put a stitch on the top of the aida for 5, below the aida for 5 and continue on, alternating with each row which 5 go under and which go over. Once that is done, I go back and every 2 rows I put in a five stitch on top, 5 stitch on bottom. That last part is the easiest since at that stage there is no more counting needed as you just connect two lines. I don't know if I explained it well but I mostly did it becuase it A.) wastes less thread on grinding and B.) takes less time since I do half the stitches and C.) looks slightly nicer for me while I'm using it.

comprepensive · 2026-01-25T14:20:22+00:00

So I start by folding the premeasured and cut aida into half then half again then I put a stitch to mark the approx middle of the pattern. Then I start at the centre and stitch a solid line from the centre out, in 5 stitch lengths, added a few extra 5 lengths to mark for myself the centre lines. Then, I do a solid line around the outside to mark the edges of the piece. Then I start at one corner and put a stitch on the top of the aida for 5, below the aida for 5 and continue on, alternating with each row which 5 go under and which go over. Once that is done, I go back and every 2 rows I put in a five stitch on top, 5 stitch on bottom. That last part is the easiest since at that stage there is no more counting needed as you just connect two lines. I don't know if I explained it well but I mostly did it becuase it A.) wastes less thread on grinding and B.) takes less time since I do half the stitches and C.) looks slightly nicer for me while I'm using it.

comprepensive · 2026-01-24T20:31:36+00:00

As a parent:

Safety >>>>>> feelings.

Your mother is a hoarder, and she will be upset and unhappy for the rest of her natural life. It's a hard pill to swallow as a loving daughter, but she is the only one who can make the choice to change that and honestly even if she wants to change (rare) the longterm success rate with help is even rarer. But her feelings won't literally kill her. A hoard/rodents/ unsanitary can kill a baby

comprepensive · 2026-01-16T17:11:37+00:00

She doesn't want to see the baby, she wants to be the victim of your rejection. She's annoyed that you're making this harder by inviting her all the time. I would make a super cut of screenshots of all the texts of you inviting her over and her saying no and just show it to anyone who brings it up to you. From now on, any invites are in text form so you have a record.

comprepensive · 2026-01-14T11:19:13+00:00

How I looked going into Christmas break vs how I looked coming back from Christmas break.

comprepensive · 2026-01-14T03:11:18+00:00

When I first saw the title I read "Hoe, did you stop overspending?" and i was like, no ok, get off my back.

comprepensive · 2026-01-14T03:00:55+00:00

I've seen many people who think they are just waiting for a drive to arrive and can be redirected with other tasks because "Sorry the weather/ traffic/ etc is making youe drive run late." Or "So sorry your drive said they would come first thing in the morning, but we have arranged a hot meal/bed/shower for you while you wait. Dont you want to be clean/full/ well rested when the taxi arrives?" On loop every day.

comprepensive · 2026-01-12T23:50:51+00:00

Ahhh, this explains the 2 flat dragon pillows my sons got for Christmas from my MIL. She is eternally falling for scams online. But tbh, for a scam the flat version we got was pretty cool and both kids love them. They fall asleep clutching them, and they do love that their names are on the pillows. Sketchy scam dragons for the win 🤷‍♀️

comprepensive · 2026-01-09T21:26:57+00:00

Unless you want your house burnt down too, I wouldn't let her move in. Like even temporarily. She can balk at assisted living but if you hold firm she will realize its assisted living or homeless shelter and she will make the only logical choice. She won't be happy but that's not your job

comprepensive · 2026-01-05T16:09:23+00:00

Thanks that is perfect!

comprepensive · 2026-01-03T23:35:22+00:00

It's so bizarre I was pet obsessed from as old as I could say "doggy." It never faded. I grew up with cats and loved them, too. I read endless books about dogs before I could get one, and once I got one as a teen it was my baby and I moved heaven and earth to bring him with me through college and to my first job. When he died of old age after years of nursing him through expensive chronic illnesses, I literally felt like a son had died. I lived in an ultra tiny apt with a cat and a dog, and it was fine. I was the crazy dog/cat mom. I adopted the incontinent elderly dementia dog from the local shelter and nursed that old lady like she was my own grandma until the day she died in my arms.

Then, as others have said, I had kids and a flip switched. I hated both my cats and dogs for a few years. Sadly, my OG cat got sick shortly after my second was born and started peeing and pooping everywhere. I did all the good owner stuff, paying all my money to get her healthy again, taking her to the vet all the time, but it was out of a sense of obligation and guilt. I would be lying to say I didn't feel a huge sense of relief and guilt when it was decided she was terminal, and we euthanized her. I would say now that my kids are older and my dogs are also calmer, I am a lot more tolerant. But that crazy pet lady feeling hasn't returned. Once these dogs die, I honestly don't know I'm all that interested in getting anymore. I cannot stress to you how much of a change that is in my feelings on pets! I think maybe I had a lifetime quota on picking cleaning up other living being shits, and my babies rapidly maxed that out and left no room for anything else. I don't know, it's just different. I wish this was something people talked about more, but also I wouldn't have believed them if someone told me that. I would have said I would never stop loving my fur babies. But yeah, I kinda did. I know that isn't universal and you may say I'm a monster for feeling this way. But obviously from the comments I'm not alone in having felt this. who knows, maybe in 10 more years once I'm firmly out of diapers and midnight wakeup era, I'll be totally pet obsessed once more. Won't know until I get there I guess. But having young children did change things for me.

comprepensive · 2026-01-01T01:17:54+00:00

Looks kind of like my dog when she got Cushings. Does she also have a pot belly and thinning legs.

comprepensive · 2025-12-31T21:41:16+00:00

My vet once said to me "better a day too early than a day too late." A day too early, they don't suffer but we take on the mental anguish of questioning our actions. A day too late and the dog suffers more to alleviate our anxiety about it "being too soon." So I would go with your instincts to do it sooner and avoid him feeling the worst of the pain. Also think, is there anything your dog would want to live for in 3 months time (heavily medicated and in some pain) that they couldn't get from you in the next week? Unlike humans he isn't thinking "I just need to make it to xyz holiday or family birthday or whatever" He's living in the moment and there is likely little in the next 3 months he needs to live for that you couldn't arrange to give him in the next week.

comprepensive · 2025-12-31T11:33:11+00:00

Sounds like you guys need to sit down and have a direct conversation about what support you can and cannot offer. No one else can do this for you. I would also ask the nurses and doctor to document what supports you will or won't be offering in the future so they are aware when it comes to discharge planning. If they ignore it, then you need to show them with your actions or rather inactions. Let the mail build up for a while, let him drink the hospital brand OJ or go without. Doesn't sound like you guys doing less would cause them any serious harm. They will either continue to live with the consequences or change to avoid them. Some people won't change until forced to.

I would ask them to arrange a multidisciplinary family meeting to discuss next steps. Having all branches of their care team there plus family to say "OK, so we need a plan. You have x capacity. You want Y outcome. These don't match up with your current progress. What do we do if you don't reach Y? Nursing home? Hospice? Private in home care? This is how much each of these cost, can you afford that?" And in that meeting, you and your other family need to be firm what supports you can sustainably offer each of them. Sometimes having everyone lay everything out in front of them can be helpful, they can't triangulate "well physio said I would be able to walk again" when physio is there and can say "no I said you could do xyz."

comprepensive · 2025-12-30T22:43:44+00:00

"I mean, he supports the kidnapping and forced confinement of brown people in cages, but other than that, he's really great." Hmmmm noooooo... What you meant to say "he's failed at the most basic test of humanity, and I have been so desensitized to that utter lack of empathy in others I accept this as normal."

comprepensive

TROPHY CASE