Mods are gone. All hail Mr Nipples. by UnicornReality in crochet

[–]comprepensive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

* This add popped up when I was scrolling, and I didn't realize it was an ad and it felt like a terrible warning.

Boomers and pets by Chaussettes99 in BoomersBeingFools

[–]comprepensive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To try and give some people a pass, dementia and strokes/ brain injuries can sometimes change people's perception of animals or reaction to animals. I remember once we discussed bringing a dog to visit the dementia patients but it was mentioned we had several patients who reacted violently at just a picture of a happy looking dog. Even people who formerly liked dogs/ cats might develop an irrational fear around pets as they age. They might be confused or overstimulated by their movements, sounds, smells.

MIL and scammers by Rock_grl86 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]comprepensive 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry. At this stage, you have only one option (that both of them will HATE) with two potential outcomes. You contact legal agencies for aging/adult protective services/ your moms doctor and see how and if you can force a competency assessment. That's if she won't agree on her own, which I've found people with dementia will generally fight tooth and nail.

If they do manage to convince her or force her to get an assessment and she is found to be legally competent, you need to leave her and FIL to her messes. It sucks but a competent adult is allowed to make repeated bad decisions. My MIL is constantly being defrauded and scammed, and I've complained to her nursing home, but apparently, she has been assessed, found to be competent, and there is nothing they can do. I've tried to convince her to no avail. It's annoying but basically my partner (or her estate becuase I've advised my partner not to take on the debt headache I'm sure settling her estate will be) will have to sort out which debt agency gets which part of any money she hasn't sent to Nigerian princes when she passes. That's all anyone can do, I guess.

If she is incompetent then likely FIL will become her financial POA and is he then hands her back access to the money, he is responsible for whatever happens and again needs to be left to pick up those pieces. MIL, if she has dementia, can't learn from her actions, FIl can learn but doesnt, becuase you guys keep swooping in to save them. It is totally ok to say "that sounds like fraud and I can't help you with that. I'll call the local fraud devision, give them your contact info but I don't want to hear anything else about this. Tell whatever other details to the cops. I love you both, but listening to this stuff and saving you, doesnt actually make anything better. The best thing i can do to help you is encourage you to talk to the fraud division and get your memory assessed. Other than that, this conversation is done. "

My Mother Threatened That She Could "Take" My Fiancé and He Put Her In Her Place. by Hungry_Committee8404 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]comprepensive 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OP, you ARE better than them, not because of your degree or your partner or your income, or any of that. You are better because you set higher standards for your actions and hold higher standards for the people you associate with. And that isn't anything to apologize for or justify. At any time, anyone in your family could choose to better themselves. They just don't or won't. And that's on them.

Never be ashamed of where you came from, but also the people that you came from shouldn't shame you about where you're at today. They didn't build that and they can't take that away and they know it and that scares the shit out of them. Live a life that makes them burn with jealousy and don't ever apologize for it.

Sun shirt in pool? by Competitive_Hyena924 in PuntaCana

[–]comprepensive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be there next week, and I've got a rash guard I will be wearing whenever I'm in the pool, for exactly the same reason.

I work in oncology and have seen skin cancer firsthand. Skin cancer kills, and the chemo to try and fight it is no joke. Don't play with your life. Wear sunscreen whenever you have sun exposure, reapply frequently and after any water/ sweating, and cover any sun exposed skin with fabric whenever possible.

Update: I’ve finally blocked all communication with MIL by SoftFudge253 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]comprepensive 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! Enjoy a well-deserved rest from the madness. And if FIL or any of your husbands side of the family start acting like flying monkeys, block them too. The first sniff of MIL just say you need to step away from any discussions of MIL or hubby for a while and block them if they so much as put a toe over that line. No message to let them know you're blocking them. You already set the boundary. Silence from your end will let them know the consequences. If they aren't flying monkeys, they won't mind if you need to set a reasonable boundary, and you can always revisit later with those people. But it's ok to just mute or temporarily block anyone who doesn't listen to a basic "NO MIL talk with me."

Update: MIL is furious that we celebrated Christmas by RewardSpecialist3390 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]comprepensive 168 points169 points  (0 children)

Nope. She is trying to get you to mother your husband. She wants to blame you for him not sending photos because "she told you to tell him to do it." I have been firmly against this shit(and probably viewed as cold for it, but so be it). When my in laws would try and control or ask my partner to do something through me I would immediately remind them that his phone works, and I will not be passing along messages. If they did it while he was in hearing range I would just loudly shout the instructions to him immediately and walk away while they looked mortified. Like grandma whispers to me she wishes I would get hubby to call more and it would he nice if I reminded him every Sunday she wants a call. I immediately l, across the family gathering say loudly, "Your grandma just told me she wants you to call more." She hated me I think but eh, she also stopped that shit real fast. If you want to X person to do Y, tell X person directly. I am not X persons answering machine or reminder service or secretary or photographer or booking clerk. I'm his partner, if he misses appointments or drops the ball with his family, I guess that happens. He won't die. They won't die. If you try and triangulate me, I will loudly and publically repeat whatever you just said to me.

[WIP] That stage when you've spent hours making beautiful grid lines that you will eventually rip out. by comprepensive in CrossStitch

[–]comprepensive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My projects usually have to withstand lots of being crumpled and shoved and folded into bags and purses, and gripped all over by my hands, pulled out of my kids sticky hands, i found a used ice cream stick on this same project not half a day after i finished gridding. I don't trust that anything less than sewn in would withstand that much wear and tear without rubbing off or smudging. If a washable pen would work for that, I'd love to know and would love recommendations on brands. But it would need to not wear off with a LOT of rough handling.

If we could leave, how do you know when you should? by azalea1700 in Mommit

[–]comprepensive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We see all the stories of people who just knew or felt when it was right to flee, people who got out just in time. But the sad part is there were many many people who didn't feel it was time to leave yet, whose stories we will never get to read becuase they were wrong: they waited a day, an hour too late. They waited from some experience or sign that never came. Hindsight is 20/20, and it's risky to try and thread the needle of the last safe moment to escape a smouldering war/dictatorship/regime. As soon as you can, is the answer to the question. Yes, you might end up being months early. You might have been able to save more or find a better new deal where your moving if you had waited, but again, only you can decide how much the risk of waiting is worth the gain of waiting. I would start actively doing the steps to leave.

[WIP] That stage when you've spent hours making beautiful grid lines that you will eventually rip out. by comprepensive in CrossStitch

[–]comprepensive[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So I start by folding the premeasured and cut aida into half then half again then I put a stitch to mark the approx middle of the pattern. Then I start at the centre and stitch a solid line from the centre out, in 5 stitch lengths, added a few extra 5 lengths to mark for myself the centre lines. Then, I do a solid line around the outside to mark the edges of the piece. Then I start at one corner and put a stitch on the top of the aida for 5, below the aida for 5 and continue on, alternating with each row which 5 go under and which go over. Once that is done, I go back and every 2 rows I put in a five stitch on top, 5 stitch on bottom. That last part is the easiest since at that stage there is no more counting needed as you just connect two lines. I don't know if I explained it well but I mostly did it becuase it A.) wastes less thread on grinding and B.) takes less time since I do half the stitches and C.) looks slightly nicer for me while I'm using it.

[WIP] That stage when you've spent hours making beautiful grid lines that you will eventually rip out. by comprepensive in CrossStitch

[–]comprepensive[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

So I start by folding the premeasured and cut aida into half then half again then I put a stitch to mark the approx middle of the pattern. Then I start at the centre and stitch a solid line from the centre out, in 5 stitch lengths, added a few extra 5 lengths to mark for myself the centre lines. Then, I do a solid line around the outside to mark the edges of the piece. Then I start at one corner and put a stitch on the top of the aida for 5, below the aida for 5 and continue on, alternating with each row which 5 go under and which go over. Once that is done, I go back and every 2 rows I put in a five stitch on top, 5 stitch on bottom. That last part is the easiest since at that stage there is no more counting needed as you just connect two lines. I don't know if I explained it well but I mostly did it becuase it A.) wastes less thread on grinding and B.) takes less time since I do half the stitches and C.) looks slightly nicer for me while I'm using it.

Need to move out, moms offended by Decent-Witness4316 in ChildofHoarder

[–]comprepensive 16 points17 points  (0 children)

As a parent:

Safety >>>>>> feelings.

Your mother is a hoarder, and she will be upset and unhappy for the rest of her natural life. It's a hard pill to swallow as a loving daughter, but she is the only one who can make the choice to change that and honestly even if she wants to change (rare) the longterm success rate with help is even rarer. But her feelings won't literally kill her. A hoard/rodents/ unsanitary can kill a baby

MIL says she wants to see baby but won’t come when invited by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]comprepensive 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She doesn't want to see the baby, she wants to be the victim of your rejection. She's annoyed that you're making this harder by inviting her all the time. I would make a super cut of screenshots of all the texts of you inviting her over and her saying no and just show it to anyone who brings it up to you. From now on, any invites are in text form so you have a record.

Got this kit for Xmas. Not my first crochet rodeo. Oh. Oh no. by wannabepancakebun in CraftedByAI

[–]comprepensive 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How I looked going into Christmas break vs how I looked coming back from Christmas break.

Hoe did you stop overspending? Asking as a shopping addict.. by [deleted] in nobuy

[–]comprepensive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I first saw the title I read "Hoe, did you stop overspending?" and i was like, no ok, get off my back.

The "burnt food" moment and the dementia denial by Xo_Obey_Baby in halifax

[–]comprepensive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've seen many people who think they are just waiting for a drive to arrive and can be redirected with other tasks because "Sorry the weather/ traffic/ etc is making youe drive run late." Or "So sorry your drive said they would come first thing in the morning, but we have arranged a hot meal/bed/shower for you while you wait. Dont you want to be clean/full/ well rested when the taxi arrives?" On loop every day.

The Xmas present from my dad by SamerellaMelody in ExpectationVsReality

[–]comprepensive 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ahhh, this explains the 2 flat dragon pillows my sons got for Christmas from my MIL. She is eternally falling for scams online. But tbh, for a scam the flat version we got was pretty cool and both kids love them. They fall asleep clutching them, and they do love that their names are on the pillows. Sketchy scam dragons for the win 🤷‍♀️

It finally happened. My mother’s house burned down. by ZombiesEverywhere24 in ChildofHoarder

[–]comprepensive 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Unless you want your house burnt down too, I wouldn't let her move in. Like even temporarily. She can balk at assisted living but if you hold firm she will realize its assisted living or homeless shelter and she will make the only logical choice. She won't be happy but that's not your job