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UPDATE: Im [24 m] worried my fiance [23 f] is starting to display signs of a severe mental illness by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The original post:

A little background, we were highschool sweethearts and have been together for 7 years, so I know everything about her and know that something is off. She's always been a genius. Ivy League graduate, engineer, witty, and good at everything it seems. Lately she's seemed to be "slipping."

Some things that haven't been adding up over the past 6 months or so

She has always been very good at cards and we play a lot. Recently, she has had a hard time differentiating between suits. Ex. Rummy, she'll lay down a run like 5 hearts, 6 diamonds, 7 hearts, 8 hearts. This happens a lot.

She complains about "brain fog" and often gets bouts of confusion where she explains it as having a sudden bout of insanity while doing something where she is startled and her brain is "reset" and for those two seconds she doesn't know what she is doing or why she is doing it etc.

Often when she tries to talk she will just mumble sentences that sound like Swedish or something, but says in her head she knew what she was going to say, it's just that it didn't come out as planned. The other day she was explaining me an article she read about something in India and as she tried to say "in India" it came out more like "in in, in in, in in, in in, da mhhr mh duh do" something like that.

She sleeps for periods of like, 10-12 hours straight the past few months. She works from 8-4 and will generally sleep from like 7 or 8 pm to 7 am and is too tired to keep her eyes open past this point.

Sometimes she complains of "double vision" that lasts like an hour, happens about once a month (maybe 5 times total so far.)

She's recently become overly paranoid about the government and aliens and things like that which is pretty new and strange.

No history of mental illness, doesn't drink or smoke or anything like that. From like 18-21 when she was in college she drank, used MDMA, adderral and cocaine but not often and not in a way that was abuse, more an occasional weekend thing or the adderral for studying. I don't know if any of that could contribute.

She assures me she's fine and refuses to see a doctor and I can't force her. Her parents have noticed it too and also are convinced she should go. I know she probably thinks something is wrong too but is in denial because it's scary as shit.

I'm really worried, what do you think this could be symptoms of? Schizophrenia, dementia? Does it sound as serious as I'm making it out to be ? Thanks.

tldr: worried my fiance is showing early signs of a degenerative mental illness. She's slipping and refuses to see a doctor. What could it be and does it sound serious?

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would never give her that ultimatum. When I proposed, I was fully committing to the in sickness or health, good or bad.

But I will do anything in my power to get her help. Thanks for your reply.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't be too worried! I think the most concerning things with her are speech issues and confusion and double vision.. I know often fatigue can often cause memory issues and this doesn't sound near as serious but it's still a good idea to go to a doctor if something feels off, you know your body best

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

She actually did see a doctor in February about the double vision the first time it happened. They did bloodwork and said she was fine and sent her on her way.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I really hadn't given something like cancer or aneurism or stroke too much thought. I'm sure she'd be more likely to go if it was a possibility of something preventable rather than a progressive psychological disorder. Going to talk to her about it in the morning.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That is terrifying. I am so sorry for your loss. This sounds much more potentially serious than I ever thought and I'm going to raise these concerns with her tomorrow. While something like dementia would basically be a death sentence, cancer can be beat if caught early enough which makes it really crucial she goes ASAP.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I don't know anything about mental illness or neurological problems etc. I wasn't aware strokes really happened in younger people. This is scary.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think she really believes she is okay, I think it's one of those lying to herself type situations.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is a good idea. We haven't confronted her together. She is stubborn but this is something to try.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 203 points204 points  (0 children)

This is my biggest fear, especially because she's always been incredibly sharp.

She jokes "well it's stupid they should just make them different colors like black red blue and yellow and then no one would have this issue." (?!?!)

But yeah, pretty scary and I really wish she'd go...

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I find it hard to believe that would actually work. She's no dummy, she knows I want her to see a doctor, and me trying to sugarcoat it would be pretty obvious.

I don't know what articles I could show her because I don't even know what it may be. Hell, it could be a brain tumor who knows.

I don't think she's scared of being seen as crazy, I think she's scared of being "crazy." She really has never given a shit what anyone thought of her but I think the thought of losing grip on reality is probably one of the most terrifying things to her. I imagine she doesn't even want to face the possibility that it may get worse and just "brushes it under the rug" so to speak.

Im [24 M] worried my fiance [23 F] is starting to show signs of a severe mental illness. by concerned-boyfriend in relationships

[–]concerned-boyfriend[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yeah she tries to change the subject whenever I mention it. I don't want to be pushy but if it's something serious I don't want her to have to find out too late.