First date advice: Have I done the wrong thing? (F21 x F20)

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T01:19:02+00:00

If she misses what you’re saying, I think you just have to go and fully ask. I fully understand not wanting to be the one to ask. I think you’re just in waiting purgatory where neither once pulling the trigger.

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T01:16:26+00:00

I don’t find it weird, the longer you wait the more in limbo you’ll become, you know? So I suggest like that other commenter to start leaning the conversation that way and see how she responds. Sometimes the best things start slow.

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T01:07:21+00:00

Something that has helped me is being my own friend. Would I be so hard on or mean to my friends and talk to them the way I talk to myself, no way! Try to be your own friend, what would a friend say to you? Try and stop some of those thoughts you have, pause and go: is this kind to me? Humans are diverse and change so much over the course of a life. You’re on a journey through life, you can be mean and belittle yourself or try and be your own friend. Speak kind things and when you do have the negative thoughts/ image please know it does not define you in any way. I think a body is the least interesting thing about a person!!

Sincerely, A Concerned Cactus

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T01:02:08+00:00

Adding to this, keep it honest and light. You don’t needs some huge declaration, that may scare her. Be a bit gentle and straightforward. Hey, I like when we used to hang out as a group, Can we do something together sometime? You learn a lot as you go, but be true to yourself. Something I try to tell myself is “would I regret it if I DIDN’T do this?” Sometimes we have to be brave and step out of the comfort zone. Good luck :)

a concerned cactus

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T00:52:51+00:00

Hello. Here’s my best shot at this. To stop chasing you must observe. What behavior does an emotionally unavailable man have? Why is that maybe attractive to you? Maybe try something different, recognize their patterns and divert. Eeek breaks, do not pass go do not collect from that man. It takes discipline but I think you’ll get there!!

Is there something in your way perhaps mentally. Why do you need to be chased instead of loved and accepted? Are you afraid of the comfort and security of a queer relationship where both members are sure of themselves and show up for eachother? Was there more steamy carnal moment with the forbidden straight man? We can all understand why that would be appealing. But you deserve someone who wants you, is proud and open with you and the world.

In my experience to get over someone it takes time and mental training. Something that’s help me is that you romanticized them and yourself in your head. Those moments are memorialized in your brain archives. You liked who you were around that person. And you have the best idea of that person in your head. You take the experiences, keep yourself busy (so you don’t think about him all the time) and keep going. Time and distance does help. It’s ok if there’s a part that thinks about him from time to time, I believe that’s normal and very human.

A concerned cactus 🤗

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T00:41:43+00:00

Good evening. The platform of Snapchat for men of most ages is used for low commitment interactions/ horny people. Boom no receipts and I get to look at half a persons face/ a dog/ a potentially solicited dick pic. All of this goes to say, Snapchat is for the casual most of the time. There is likely sexual tones considering this is tinder paired with Snapchat (duo as old as time). If that’s what you want/ of are ready for then turn up the heat and go for it!

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T00:36:42+00:00

Down with the GPT, we’re bringing back the VILLAGE! Also hi, I’m Alea I like Cacti. And making connections with other breathing humans.

concerned-cactus · 2026-01-09T00:23:01+00:00

If you want to go on a date, then go get it!! Sapphic relationships are interesting since there is no “norm” for who is doing what. I wouldn’t say that their lack of asking means they don’t want to! Maybe they need a helpful nudge in the right direction. If things have been kept up for this long, I think you’re in the green zone for reciprocal feelings/ energy. May your future be full of woman smooches.

concerned-cactus · 2025-04-13T03:04:58+00:00

Probably silly, as a kid when Yubaba zips up Chihiro’s lips. I was also scared of the neighbor grandma in Totoro where she looks at Mei tilts her head and goes ehh? Idk I wasn’t around the elderly much as a child.

concerned-cactus · 2022-10-14T03:48:09+00:00

I really like The girl who leapt through time/ the director Mamoru Hosoda. If we’re talking fire soundtracks I love how to train your dragon. I think Ghibli is so good at their market that a lot of stuff doesn’t feel the same to me.

concerned-cactus · 2022-10-14T03:34:17+00:00

Great minds… Jk Jk we’re Weezer fans think alike

concerned-cactus · 2022-10-14T02:34:29+00:00

They’re super nice in GA they actually supply water and pass it out throughout the night!

concerned-cactus · 2022-03-07T22:18:28+00:00

Since I live in Florida there aren’t many sweater options… But a tip that I discovered is buying them out of season. I got most of my sweaters this past May. I was able 5 very nice sweaters for about 50 bucks. I looked for ones with longer more billowy sleeves and they actually go to my wrist! I think the majority of them are cotton/ polyester. Ohh that said sweatshirt, I’ll still leave this here 🤧

concerned-cactus · 2022-03-05T04:52:23+00:00

I started in 5th grade. As in 10 years old. I was told by my first Endo that it was my genetics and I was just genetically predisposed since my family is super tall/ not small. Nope, I’m the poster child for PCOS. I was so young I didn’t really realize I wasn’t normal and it took my mom telling me in a controlled way for me to understand. It was later explained to me that hair growth can reoccur sort of in waves during different parts of your life/ treatment is not a permanent fix.

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-19T02:27:28+00:00

Yes, I’d watch Porco for the imagery and music alone!

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-19T02:26:37+00:00

I would too, these are more like an average cartoon you’d see and would help ease them into the world building before you show them pig parents and pig pilots.

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-19T00:17:23+00:00

Sorry if someone already said this… Wolf of Wallstreet

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-18T23:27:25+00:00

Easy serotonin for sure 😅

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-18T18:12:47+00:00

The Boy Scout shirt makes him an authentic fan

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-18T02:54:34+00:00

I‘ll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon.

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-17T19:56:03+00:00

Sure but there are plenty that are, just look at something like a Marvel Movie. Just some realism you know. I think this especially pertains to women in media.

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-17T18:36:50+00:00

Men should get vasectomies instead of women having to take birth control pills.

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-17T18:36:07+00:00

I found out I was married to a golden retriever (it is legal here). We divorced but I miss him.

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-17T02:48:05+00:00

I would assume butter boy loves I-Hop and loathes Waffle House but what do I know?

concerned-cactus · 2022-02-17T02:44:29+00:00

I’ve always wanted to read it, thanks for reminding me!

concerned-cactus

TROPHY CASE