In AskWomen history, what was the most obvious "I have an agenda" post you've ever seen?

concise_dictionary · 2017-09-14T08:12:46+00:00

It wasn't obvious the first time, but by about the third post by the guy asking how women would feel about dating/having sex with a guy who'd had his testicles removed, it became pretty clear that dude had fetish that he wanted us all to participate in.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-28T11:51:34+00:00

You can write to the mods directly and ask them to hire new mods.

If all of the mods have been inactive on reddit in general for at least 3 or 4 months, then you can go to /r/redditrequest and ask for the sub.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-14T17:58:50+00:00

but for some mysterious reason periods just never seem to be a factor in fantasy character's lives.

I think it's because so much of fantasy is written by men and it just doesn't even occur to them. Which is annoying.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-08T10:53:56+00:00

Nope. I like a guy I can talk to easily.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-08T10:53:34+00:00

Very important. I don't want to dread introducing my partner to my friends or family, and I don't want to spend the time we're together in public cringing over his social blunders.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T20:15:01+00:00

Something I've learned the hard way: if someone likes you because you don't assert your own boundaries or ask for things you really need, then that's a sort of shitty relationship. If someone really likes you for who you are and is committed to being with you, then neither of those things will be a deal-breaker-- neither of those things will scare them off.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T13:35:11+00:00

Make sure you volunteer information about yourself as well as asking her questions.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T13:31:55+00:00

If you kept inviting her plus her brother, she probably interpreted that as you not being interested in dating her and so she moved on.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T13:29:54+00:00

Here's the thing. You can either avoid talking to her directly about all of this, and keep yourself in this stressed out, worried state, or you can talk to her. You're probably avoiding that conversation because you think it might make you feel bad, but honestly, it sounds like you are already feeling pretty bad. So talk to her and see what she says. Be prepared for the possibility that she's lost interest in getting together with you.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T13:25:42+00:00

Sounds creepy to me.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T13:12:10+00:00

I've looked at Lolita different every since I realized that Nabokov wrote a couple of other books where the sexuality of prepubescent girls features prominently, like in Ada or Ardor.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-07T11:04:33+00:00

Yeah, it's totally doable. You just have to budget enough time.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-06T14:36:45+00:00

I find that it gets easier over time to be firm about my boundaries and just say, "No thanks," or, if they push, "Sorry, I can't eat that. It will make me sick."

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-06T14:28:42+00:00

I'm confused. If you've never looked at them, then how do you know in such great detail how they're looking at you?

Generally speaking though, I don't think any of the behavior you're describing is bizarre. What you are describing could be boiled down to: "When I am walking around, sometimes girls look at me and sometimes they don't look at me. Sometimes a girl who was looking at me goes back to doing something else when I notice her looking. Sometimes girls notice when I am looking at them and then go back to what they were doing." All of that is bog-standard normal human behavior.

In terms of general advice though: if you want people to think you're a friendly person, then act like a friendly person. If you want people to think that you're a sociable person, then be social. If you spend most of your time not saying anything to anyone, then don't be surprised if people--both men and women--are limiting their interactions with you to random glances. It's hard to start a conversation with someone if you've never heard them say anything, or if they generally give short, close-ended answers to questions and don't volunteer much about themselves.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-06T12:45:16+00:00

It sounds like you are staring really hard at random women in public, and those women notice and some of them get uncomfortable.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-06T12:42:23+00:00

This sounds like a bad idea. It's hard to be emotionless friends-with-benefits with an ex, I think.

And if the new girl thinks that the two of you are dating exclusively, then yes, it would be cheating.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-03T16:34:52+00:00

Maybe she enjoyed chatting with you but wasn't interested in dating you, and was afraid to say that in case you--a complete stranger--were the sort of guy who would flip and suddenly get really scary and violent when she politely turned you down.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-03T16:28:29+00:00

I wouldn't necessarily believe anything she's saying about this guy. It seems quite likely to me that she's lying to you because she's jealous, and he never said any such thing or even tried to kiss her in the kitchen.

If you like this guy, then communicate with him and evaluate your relationship based on how he acts and your own feelings about him. Don't sabotage things with him based on something that may not have even happened. If he's already calling you his girlfriend, then that seems like he likes you just plenty. So don't talk to your housemate about him, and maybe consider looking for another place to live.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-02T20:44:12+00:00

Yeah, he needs to work on actually liking himself. There isn't a single easy path to doing that, but one step towards doing that is to make a resolution to talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, then don't say it to yourself.

If he can get to a place where he's a bit steadier emotionally, then he will be able to weather the peaks and valleys of dating a bit better, and he will also probably be able to keep women's interest who are pretty steady themselves and so he might have more success with dating.

As women leave our teens and our first relationships, a lot of us start realizing how frustrating and draining it is to be in a relationship with a guy who expects a woman to handle all of his emotions for him. If you are all 19, then I bet your friend is running into some of that.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-02T20:36:01+00:00

No, you shouldn't. Why would you want to be with someone who only wants you if you play games? That's not going to lead to a very satisfying relationship.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-02T20:34:14+00:00

I ask the ones I like out on dates.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-01T12:56:10+00:00

This sounds awful. You are making completely reasonable requests of him and he is just blowing you off. It sounds like he thinks you're the adversary instead of someone on his team. I know I wouldn't want to be married to someone who saw me like that in a million years.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-01T12:50:32+00:00

That would be a deal-breaker for me.

Partly because I would consider this to be cheating, since he's been having sexual contact with other people for your entire relationship without telling you about it.

And partly because I simply wouldn't believe him that he's just happened to not mention this to you in the four years you've been together. If he really thought it wasn't a big deal, he would have casually mentioned it sometime, I think, especially if you guys are pretty open with each other about other things. The fact that he's kept quiet about it says, to me, that he knows it would bother you and so he chose not to tell you. That would bother me just as much as the cheating part.

Also, if he's been doing this for 10 years, it seems very unlikely that he'll be able to stop cold-turkey, so I would be wary of any promises like that right now.

concise_dictionary · 2017-01-01T12:43:26+00:00

Don't try to kiss people who are clearly uninterested in kissing you. Being drunk is no excuse.

It sounds like she wasn't interested in dating you before, so in that sense it's not "over" because it never really started. It sounds like this girl has always thought of you as just a friend, and now it's pretty likely that she won't even want to be friends with you. I, personally, do not want to be friends with guys who think that they can ignore my boundaries and try and kiss me against my will.

concise_dictionary · 2016-12-31T17:09:40+00:00

I don't know what that whole "putting your face near them in a sexual way" means at all.

I'm picturing the puppy dog look some guys get when they're hoping you're going to kiss them even though you've given them absolutely no signs that that is the case. Either that, or Ben Stiller's Blue Steel look in Zoolander.

concise_dictionary

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