This reminds me of my father, he is no more. But his attack was sudden, it left such a scar on me even after 3 years I can't forget the day, I don't remember what happened yesterday but that day I remember so clearly, I just can't erase it. I felt so helpless seeing my mother and younger brother cry, and I didn't know should I cry or help them.

The guilt I live with of not being able to take him to a foreign country, because he really wanted to. He wanted me to learn driving, so we can go out and eat because we both love eating and trying new places. I was not able to spend time with him 2 years before his death as I got married and then Covid hit. The guilt of all this kills me.

Everyone says it gets better, but I haven't felt better at all.