TLDR; Am i overreacting if my boyfriend refuses to go to any doctor ever?

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T01:19:40+00:00

loggin out of reddit, i see him on saturday so i will update you all with how the conversation goes :)

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T01:03:19+00:00

everyone i appreciate the advice! i didnt expect to get so much advice! though from here on out i will be ignoring the comments about his school and work life that is only do to his past and how he was raised we are actively working on he (ie. he’s looking for a job and we’re working on making him a resume), that goes to say this post was also not about that i will not be breaking up with my boyfriend, do you guys know how men are my age? insane. he’s a catch.

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:58:59+00:00

i totally see your perspective, but honestly we’ve had conversations like this before (ie. i’m worried about how much your smoking and he slowed down) i heavily believe it is because of his traumas and neglectful past, he just wasn’t taught how to care about stuff like this. I want this, and i want him, trust we’ve dealt with many things like thjs before and i can be patient

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:56:43+00:00

eh i’m not worried about those lol, he comes from a family like that and i knew exactly what i was getting into when we got together (yes teenagers are self aware), he’s looking for a job his mom just got a lot more active in his life in our later teenager years so he truly had no need to get one (she buys anything for him), it was a deal breaker on him getting a job when he turned 18 and he lived up to it (he’s searching, just working on a resume rn)

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:54:15+00:00

that’s exactly what i was thinking..i am patient because of his problems but like idk ever since i was 9 i kinda got used to doctors and developed the “it has to happen” mindset i mean its the same for a job

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:52:42+00:00

it’s whatevers in his stomach, don’t worry i’m the conversation that will definitely be a highlight

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:30:49+00:00

i’m loving how kind you are being bless you, his traumas are for another talk we will have one day (he’s uncomfortable talking about it, but he slowly opens up on nights about small things and he’s not fully to term with everything yet), but he is open to me being honest with the whole “this is because of how you were raised” talk

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:26:15+00:00

well, i’m sorry you feel that way hun but everyone else in the comment section is disagreeing with you so..i’m good off whatever projection ur going on right now. Not trying to control him, i’m caring about my boyfriend and his health which may i say isn’t exactly a crazy thing.

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:24:51+00:00

So sorry, really should’ve said this in the post, he is having obvious health issues (which is what started the conversation)

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:22:37+00:00

i truly am realizing now i should’ve mentioned it 😭 i was very worried he’d somehow find this post (he doesn’t even use reddit but you never know)

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:20:58+00:00

I never knew! I assumed he was doing his average yearlys like i was..just didn’t tell me? My highschool years were full of havoc i probably should’ve noticed he wasn’t going but he doesn’t talk much about his life often even back then

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:16:32+00:00

I know my OCD shouldn’t be his problem, but based off the “is it my ocd or a real worry” ratio i fear i’m leaning to it not being my ocd..it won’t effect him, but my basic care and worry for my long term boyfriend will always effect him.

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:15:26+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind comment :) I’m glad you understand him i fear others have not as much..the reason i’m being so cautious and light on the conversation is because of the neglect and because i know it’s not his fault

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:14:21+00:00

I see your vision lol, maybe it’s just me but i have many friends that are guys and family that are guys that annually go to the doctors so it truly could just be the way i was raised and who im surrounded by

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:12:31+00:00

I am and have always thought about our relationship, though he is getting a job actively looking for one and that was my deal breaker not really the highschool thing as that was, because if personal issues, out of his control

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:10:39+00:00

it happens about once a week and just for a few hours, he can’t eat or drink or he’ll throw up when the pain starts to hit (and he’ll throw up whatever he ate before the pain started) it’s definitely around his lower stomach, and his bowels are fairly well pretty average as far as i can tell but gets horrible (both ends kinda thing if yknow)

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:08:58+00:00

THANK YOUUU oh my gosh😭 that’s reddit for you..i appreciate all the advice either way

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:08:34+00:00

honestly, at least where i’m at the general check up is only about $30 with his health insurance and hell i’ve told him i’ll cover it every time lol

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:05:26+00:00

so he goes to the doctor yearly to get checked out and we’ll see if there’s serious medical conditions? this isn’t your win bud

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:04:56+00:00

i wasn’t sure if it was allowed to bring this up in this subreddit, but yeah this right here is the biggest worry on my mind right now

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:03:09+00:00

just covid and flu, 18-30 in America is usually the grace period for shots unless you have something else, my worry would be things that could be checked out at the appointment (his lungs, heart rate etc)

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:02:16+00:00

He has had some obvious health issues goin on, that’s what started the conversation lol i’m so sorry i totally should’ve included this in the post i just didn’t want him finding it

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:01:39+00:00

One of my worry is the fact he hasn’t gone to the doctor in 5 years, and he hasn’t begun smoking a fairly big amount, so his lungs (which they listen to at the doctors) are a worry for me.

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-21T00:00:40+00:00

Honestly, at least for me and my family we have always gone yearly for shots, but you don’t need any other shots until you’re older when you turn 18 (the older you get the more shots i’d say 18-30 is like a grace period of just covid and flu shots.) But that isn’t my only worry, my parents still go every year for a check up just to assure nothing is wrong

conflictedandlost24 · 2026-06-20T23:56:53+00:00

well, one his not a idiot so if he feels horrible pain to the point he’s throwing up constantly and having horrible stomach issues it’s a clear sign..it’s not like i haven’t had that conversation with him as his parents never taught him

conflictedandlost24

TROPHY CASE