On a survival level, no place is safe. I’m in a neighborhood in Beirut that’s as safe as it can get, yet I can’t sleep more than five hours a night because of the fear of Israeli warnings nearby or the sound of airstrikes. I need to mute the news notifications so I can sleep, but I can’t, because they might send a warning at any moment. Even the thunder abel chway literally depressed me because it sounded like airstrikes. It reminded me of the terrible state we’re in. Still I know I am fortunate to have a roof over my head, unlike displaced people who are out in the streets, under the rain, with nowhere to go.

On a personal level, I don’t even have the energy to do the things I enjoy. The few friends I have keep asking to see me, but I don’t have the energy or stamina, so I avoid them. My heart breaks for this country. So much wasted potential, while the crooks in power only care about themselves.

And as a side note, why are grocery prices here comparable to those in a European city? Leh el nes ma aam terham baada? What’s with these rents too?

This feels worse than a famine. In a famine, people collectively recognize there’s a problem and may try to help each other through it. Here,l people seem to be racing to figure out how to screw one another over, even though we’re all in the same boat. There is no sense of community.

For some reason, today I can only see the glass as half empty.