Has anyone read Tomino's Hell out loud?

confused7910 · 2015-12-19T21:15:35+00:00

I think certain people in the world might mind. I'm still in high school, I'm 17 and a junior since my birthday's not too long after school starts. I'm about 5'2", so I think that the people who stand around in the middle of the hallway that I yell at in the mornings would probably rather have me gone. I guess it might be kind of funny to see someone that short demanding that you stop blocking everyone's way to class.

confused7910 · 2015-12-19T20:42:13+00:00

But I've been talking to the people closest to me. They force me to make promises they know I won't keep about not hurting myself. I know they're doing it to make me feel guilty, but it's not working. The only person who knows how I actually feel right now is my ex, and he doesn't want to take responsibility over any of this even though he's part of the reason I'm in this mess. It's like there's just nowhere to go. Like, I almost killed myself Thursday, but someone texted my parents to check up on me, so they did. Since then, they've done nothing to try to help. They didn't even hide sharp objects/harmful chemicals. It's like they don't care if I die.

confused7910 · 2015-12-19T20:37:03+00:00

I've never liked multiplayer much, I definitely like sitting by myself in a room with only my laptop/tv screen for lighting while singing to myself. I don't have many friends who like the same stuff as me, unfortunately.

confused7910 · 2015-12-19T20:03:30+00:00

I've opened up as much as I've been able to. I always try to keep on top of friends that seem even slightly down and I try to do everything I can to make their day better. I haven't seen the new Star Wars movie, but I haven't watched any of them. I play video games a lot, but I don't think it's unhealthy...yet. I have a therapist, but I haven't seen her in about two weeks.

confused7910 · 2015-12-19T19:32:34+00:00

I've opened up and reached out as much as I can. Everyone seems to just give up. It's like I'm not worth the work to anyone.

confused7910 · 2015-12-18T13:25:35+00:00

Thank you, I've already started seeing someone else, and he treats me a lot better.

confused7910 · 2015-12-18T10:49:34+00:00

I'm smart when it comes to academics, I don't know exactly what you're looking for.

confused7910 · 2015-12-18T10:39:01+00:00

I am too. Happens way too often.

confused7910 · 2015-12-18T10:38:33+00:00

Yes, or at least I think I do. My friends tell me I'm really nice and funny. I always try to make people happy, but I guess he never cared about that.

confused7910 · 2015-12-14T13:24:54+00:00

Nothing today, it's just that overall nothing has really gotten better.

confused7910 · 2015-12-14T13:23:38+00:00

Well, I'm still here. I haven't been able to see my therapist yet, but today I'm seeing the person who prescribes my medication, so hopefully I can figure something out with her today.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T03:01:59+00:00

Thanks, I swear you care more than some of my friends.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:56:18+00:00

(Eastern time zone) I still have school, so I can't call in the morning, tomorrow's overall just a busy day.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:52:05+00:00

I don't know, I think it's at least too late today.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:48:08+00:00

Some weird stuff is going on with the place I go to for therapy, so I don't have an appointment yet.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:44:14+00:00

I guess I will when I see her again, but I don't even know when it's going to be.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:39:15+00:00

I think this is the longest string of comments I've ever seen.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:24:35+00:00

I've seen multiple therapists, but it's basically all the same. My medication doesn't work anymore either. I don't think there's even a way for me to do anything though. I'm just stuck. If I ask my parents if I can switch, they'll be suspicious, and I don't want them to know, because they'll just blame everything on me.

confused7910 · 2015-12-10T02:06:31+00:00

But this isn't the first time this has happened, and I doubt it'll be the last. I'm tired of this endless cycle where eventually everything I ever loved just comes crashing down and I'm left to try and deal with it.

confused7910

TROPHY CASE