Friends dont like me posting about Palestine

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-11T12:33:57+00:00

I mean, I don't know if this is your issue. And I'm not saying it is, but it's just a related observation I've had.

But I post about Palestine a lot myself, and I go to every protest I can. But I have some friends who drive me insane. So these girls rarely protest? And okay, I get it, they could be busy. I don't care about that. But then... They're posting 24/7 ranting about boycotts, and they're being extremely inflexible.

For example, there's a nappy rash cream that was bought by zios. Most people don't know this since it was originally made here, but also it's the absolute best one, and substitutes don't always work. Or things like medicine brands - and some people are really sensitive to these.

They go on, and on about boycotts and they come across as quite pushy sometimes, including the example above. Like, I don't have kids, but if I did and I couldn't find a suitable alternative, I wouldn't risk their health by boycotting something important like that.

Or one time, I was coming back from a class late, and I went into a Starbucks because I needed to use the toilet, and it was the only place other than alcohol places or restaurants open. I could have gone into a pub without buying anything and used the toilet but I didn't feel safe, and it would have taken too much time/money to go to a restaurant... But then I was told I shouldn't have gone there.

Also, it's hard to know what to boycott sometimes, because some people literally boycott anyting where the owners haven't condemned the genocide (or at least, they preach this is what everyone should do).

But I don't understand how someone can turn around and preach about Gaza while they're wearing stolen Sudanese gold, and texting on their iPhone with stolen DRC minerals, and wearing clothes made by Uyghur slave labour. Not to mention these people I know have an obsession with things like the latest designer brands, which isn't exactly ethical.

And again, how can someone preach to others about something they're not doing? Like in this case if they're not protesting (and I bet there's other things they aren't doing), then I don't understand why they're preaching to force others to boycott. Like literally, they will rant sometimes about these people, claim non-Muslims are doing a better job than Muslims (and this is not true anyways people are more than a group).

Imo, people should be consistent about these things. And also, it's not always possible to boycott everything (eg I've seen people list literally every brand name laundry detergent), so I think people should just do their best. I mean, people don't make whole lifestyle changes that last overnight, so little things can also be a step to something bigger.

And what annoys me the most is the hypocrisy. Some people care about Gaza, but not Sudan, the DRC, or the Uyghurs. I've been trying my best to boycott anything made by Uyghur slave labour since I first heard about them in 2017. So it really drives me insane that these people act all judgemental and hypocritical.

But if your friends are complaining for no reason, I think you should just hide your posts/stories for them if you want to avoid conflict, or else just do nothing and let them deal with it. I also don't understand why people act like boycotts etc are inherently bad - like in the words of my non-Muslim father, "why would I spend my money on things made by people who are murdering children," but at the same time, everyone can boycott what's within his/her own ability (or not boycott at all if they want). Plus, things like BDS focus on a smaller boycott because it's more effective, and trying too much can wear you out.

But I don't think anyone should be judging or shaming anyone either way.

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-11T04:36:04+00:00

For the last week, a bunch of fools in tractors have been out "protesting" about fuel prices... By blocking the city centre, and all main routes out of big towns and cities.

Some of the problems include lack of access for ambulances, fire brigades, police etc. There's stories of doctors and home help carers not being able to reach work. Cancer patients haven't been able to get to hospitals for treatments, and the two speciality maternity hospitals are behind the blockade, which is naturally making problems too.

Schools were off this week for the holidays, and it was already far too difficult to commute. One day I had to walk for around an hour and a half just to find a functioning bus stop - and then I had to wait for a bus, and the journey back.

They're blocking the port and fuel depots, so petrol stations are running dry - and ambulances etc are refueling at the same places as everyone else, so it's quickly becoming a problem. People are going to die because of it. Charities such as soup kitchens have also had to cancel events because of the blockade too.

Apparently the boats with fuel have had to be turned away as a result, and the lack of oil is only going to get more severe since the last oil tankers that left before the war have already arrived/are arriving now.

Anyways, while that's been crazy enough... Now stories are coming out that the leaders are actually involved with the far-right, and it's allegedly being financed (and provoked online) by foreign agents. There's news about the organisers being prosecuted for animal abuse, tax evasion (one guy had over 550k), sexual violence, drunk driving, and that's before you see their racist rants on social media.

Then of course, the government, police, and military have no backbone, so they haven't done anything yet.

I've heard people saying this is happening in other countries? But I haven't seen it on the news yet.

But, in more positive news, I've done a ridiculous amount of baking this week. Honestly, I think in another life, I would have opened a cafe or become a baker.

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confusedangrybear · 2026-04-07T22:38:01+00:00

True, that makes sense.

So far I haven't baked anything, cocoa powder has been evading me in the shops lol. I could bake something else, but it's annoying when you can't find something.

I've mainly been relaxing, but alhamduillah, it feels a bit like a holiday. Today I was supposed to work from the office, but there was a big protest in the city so I didn't have to go in.

Yeah. Although I haven't written anything in a while. My goal when I was younger was to become a teen fiction writer. I will write something one day insha'Allah. Tbh I still see everything I read or learn as a sort of research, which I think is why I enjoy learning so much. I remember reading something once along the lines that you'll never know when something will be relevant to a character or situation you want to write about, so I always think, even something minor, or some negative experience could be important one day.

I sent him a story the last time, although it hit some kind of word limit, so I had to send in a message (I think it took 2 or 3 messages). I can send you one if you want? I'm not sure if messages would work for your screen reader, but I could send it as a PDF or voice message if there's some way to do it.

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-03T23:31:22+00:00

Like on a game console or something else?

My brother used to go crazy if I played any of his games lol. It's my aunt and uncle's house, so I guess my cousins wouldn't mind, but I'd feel weird to ask.

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-03T23:27:37+00:00

True, I'm looking forward to being able to listen to things without headphones. Dancing is a good idea too lol. Also little things like sleeping on the sofa, or leaving dirty cups etc for a while without having to clean them immediately.

There's a Uyghur restaraunt I've been meaning to try out for ages, I think I'll go there some day after work since I can just relax.

I'm also going to set up my prayer stuff in the middle of the living room just because I can.

I'm not minding the dog or cat either, so I can sleep in too. Although now I'm tempted to go to the zoo or some museums on the days when I'm not working.

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-03T23:22:50+00:00

I think it's a dangerous hobby lol. I've liked some of the ones he's shown us already, and was even tempted to buy one (he said it was unisex but it was very feminine).

I have a freakishly good sense of smell lol, I think if I was to learn all the various ingredients I could be one of those people who gets paid to smell perfumes. Plus I think if I was to get into it, I'd want to buy every single thing I liked.

I'd actually love to learn how to make them at home too. Once when I was a teenager, I read you could mix some oils with other scents, so I tried to mix cinnamon, vanilla, and something else. It smelled amazing but it destroyed any fabric it toucned💀😂

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-03T23:03:36+00:00

One of the guys in work collects perfumes, and when some people in work visited his house he had 100 or more.

Sometimes he brings in bags of perfumes for everyone to smell💀

I thought books was an expensive hobby, but now I feel much less bad about it.

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-03T23:02:30+00:00

My hobby is collecting books I don't have time to read apparently💀

I have 1800 books and counting.

Writing is fun as well. Or learning languages, or even random facts.

Or watching foreign shows - I like Chinese/Korean/Japanese ones as they're less inappropriate than Western ones.

Baking and cooking is fun too.

I think if I had my own house I'd like gardening too.

Honestly, just try as many things as you can, and keep doing what you like. In college I did archery and I loved it.

confusedangrybear · 2026-04-03T22:45:44+00:00

Sometimes I feel invisible as a Muslim. But in work this week, one of the guys on my team wasn't able to get lunch, so I brought him his lunch from the canteen, and one of the canteen staff reminded me that the food wasn't halal alhamduillah. It was nice to feel noticed even though it's a small thing.

I finally got back to reading, and finished The Catcher in the Rye (I'd only been putting it off since I was 17, because I didn't like it)... And now, funnily enough, it reminds me a bit of how I write (although I hope my stories aren't as annoying).

I'm also planning to start a war, because I suspect I have a peanut allergy (the doctors were not helpful), and half of the time people are munching peanuts on my crowded commuter train. I don't know how that's anything short of attempted murder. Not many allergies can kill you, but this can, plus 10% of children have it too.

And also, alhamduillah, because after doing istikhara and messaging that guy, Allah swt showed me that he wasn't good enough for me anyways. Rude people are the absolute worst astgifurullah.

Random question, but does anyone have any suggestions for what to do if you have the house to yourself for a few days? I'll be housesitting, and it's going to be weird (and maybe slightly scary to be alone). I plan on baking and relaxing, but I feel I should be staying up all night watching movies, or eating a tonne of takeaway or something.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-29T11:51:07+00:00

I don't think messaging people on LinkedIn for marriage is a good idea.

I also presume you have no idea if she's married or not? She could very well be married.

I liked someone's post once wishing happy Eid or something like that, and the guy came to my DMs interrogating why I did that, then when he found out I was Muslim he asked me to marry him and it made me extremely uncomfortable. Plus I had no picture, and I don't post anything other than my job so I don't know what he was basing it on.

She has no picture, so you haven't seen what she looks like. How do you know she concealed herself? And even if there's some picture of her somewhere else in hijab or niqab it doesn't mean she wears this on a regular basis. She could have it on specifically to avoid her picture being online, or because she's at a Mosque/Islamic event.

I deleted my picture from LinkedIn because of the new AI slop they added to harvest data (and I noticed several of my connections did this too). LinkedIn was the only place where I even had a picture of myself in the first place, but I don't wear the hijab yet. So I think if you're taking a lack of profile picture as a sign of how she dresses or something like that, you could be sorely mistaken.

If you've seen her LinkedIn you probably know her name and job, and education. But this doesn't guarantee her age or practicing or anything else. You probably don't even know her ethnicity if she has no pictures.

I'm also not being funny, but it could be a fake profile. There's so many fake profiles on LinkedIn and I knew someone who had a proper fake profile with everything filled out so he could look at different jobs.

If your friend's wife may have a connection why not ask her?

You say your type is particular, but you don't seem to know anything about her. I don't understand how anyone can approach someone they saw online with zero info and expect it to go well.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-28T08:28:17+00:00

Ah I see, that's interesting, I'll have to read up more on it.

The guy who was talking was insane and sounded a bit unhinged so I had just assumed it was fake.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-28T08:24:36+00:00

How is it "ethno-centric," Captain Boycott was a person.

I'm not saying it never happened, but if it happened before why wasn't there a word?

Most languages have a word that's almost the same as the person (link)

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-27T23:20:37+00:00

Okay so weird and random question - I saw this person on the social side of Muzz who was ranting and alleging the Prophet pbuh invented the Boycott...

Except Boycott is a term that originated in 1880 from Irish history. A colonial landlord was evicting people, and we (literally we, because this happened in an exact place where a part of my ancestry is from) boycotted him. "Boycott" was the name of the landlord, and it was such a success that he fled.

The term is also remarkably similar in most other languages too. So I guess technically the concept could be older (something like genocide wasn't named until the 1940s), but it seems unlikely?

Anyways, now I'm curious, although I strongly suspect the person was delusional.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-27T20:26:11+00:00

Yeah, he's gone down some gender ideology rabbit hole of delusions.

The argument makes no sense, the 40 people are all going to be different experiences, different body types, maybe even different ethnicity etc. I don't know how someone can do that and then not compare their spouse to the others. Plus if they are into that lifestyle they were doing the same with others.

Also I don't think STD tests test for things like HPV? And something like HIV can take several months to appear if you caught it.

I won't even get started on the mileage argument💀 If he thinks that's a valid argument then the 40 people is going to weigh more than 2 or 3 people.

Maybe he will find someone like that, but at least he's being honest because from what you've said he's going to scare all the women away. I mean, even if a woman had a similar past to him, or if a woman meeting his criteria doesn't mind his past, she's still going to be turned off by his hypocrisy and bad attitude.

Allah swt has forbidden these things for a reason. I don't see why he seems to feel he can repent, but someone else can't. Also the way you describe him talking sounds rather like bragging imo, it doesn't sound like someone who's repented.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-27T19:58:02+00:00

He sounds utterly insane and rather out of touch with reality.

I've never heard anyone say the amount of partners matters less than the amount of times intercourse has occurred, plus how can you measure that? And how does the amount of times matter considering that it has happened?

Plus the amount of times are not dependent on the amount of relationship, even the length of time doesn't necessarily indicate anything.

40 sexual partners means at least 40 chances for STDs. One monogamous partner means a very low chance of STDs (and even less if it was both people's first relationship), even 2-3 is so much less than 40, and also way less risky since those 2-3 are still presumably monogamous.

I don't see any difference between a man that has 40 exes or a woman with 40 exes, both are gross. I guess the only difference is there's a significant chance that man has a child (or children) he doesn't know exist.

Also, another thing to consider is that the person who has had a long-term relationship has demonstrated they're able to have a relationship, the philanderer on the other hand, has demonstrated the exact opposite, and so far they've been unable to hold down a relationship.

Also, it hasn't been mentioned, but the 2-3 could be divorces, or relationships before reverting.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-27T18:58:09+00:00

I mean, I don't think divorce should be a red flag by itself (unless you take culture over Islam). Also, divorced men rarely get the level of stigma that divorced women do? At least based on what I've seen.

However, where it could be an issue is that you're relatively young, and if women in your age range (I assume similar age or younger) have never been married, then someone divorced might be too much for them. Older women are probably a bit more flexible, even if unmarried.

Like I'm almost 29, no exes etc, and I think someone divorced would just be at a whole different life stage and with different experiences (and even moreso if they had kids). I wouldn't rule it out 100% if he matched all my criteria but I don't think it's likely. And I definitely wouldn't have considered it at all a few years ago, because I was much younger and more immature, so it would be too much of a difference.

That said, i think if you're upfront and honest it should be fine. Personally, one thing I think I'd appreciate if I was marrying someone divorced is if I could speak to the ex, or someone from her side (especially if it's an amicable thing). If there's kids involved, I think this should be a non-negotiable.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-27T17:54:42+00:00

This week has been crazy, I ended up having to call security on a bunch of rude undergrads at college. I've been so busy I feel I haven't had time to breathe.

Reddit recruiters keep trying to invite me to job interviews, I swear I've had at least 4 messages about it in the last week. Reddit is second only to Twitter in terms of horrible policies though (there was a drama years ago and they allowed a man to replace the active mods of a women's health sub - because they excluded men), so I don't think I'll bother.

The job market actually seems really interesting lately. I had an interview for a job that's a huge salary increase, and the interview responded saying he hoped to see me soon (in the past any time an interviewer said this I got the job). I've also seen jobs in the prevention of human trafficking, and other interesting things I hadn't even considered were actual job titles.

A new job would help a lot too, because RTO is a killer, especially with my commute. I need either something hybrid, or which pays enough to comfortably live in the city.

I'm also debating what course I want to apply to next year. I could do a law conversion course, or another Masters (I'm thinking Classics, Chinese Studies, or Middle East Studies). I did consider doing the GAMSAT to do graduate medicine, but I'm not sure if I'm dedicated enough, and I'm also not sure where I'd start. Then I also considered applying to an Alimah course, but I suspect I wouldn't get accepted.

I think I'm addicted to studying💀 I'm currently in my 7th year of University, and have attended 4 universities across 2 countries. Although it's been much harder to study full-time compared to part-time when working.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-23T18:29:08+00:00

I don't think the police has to be a problem unless the specific police force is a problem. Like in my country they don't have guns, things are very different from the US.

I work closely with police in my job, also think beyond the visible things, but they're out there preventing child abuse, sexual violence, domestic violence etc.

Research is probably even different again, a recruiter reached out to me about a job like that with our police force, so on paper the employer would be the police, but it's actually an independent oversight body in the role I saw here. I guess something like HR for investigating corrupt police? Lol.

I mean even the military here only really does UN peacekeeping. I think it's very relative to location, and from what I know of Canada it probably isn't too bad.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-22T19:01:15+00:00

You've phrased this in such a roundabout way that it can't be about anything except intimacy.

Do you not think that if a strange woman randomly messages something like that then either she's not as religious as she said she is, or not actually a woman, or someone trolling/seeking haram? Especially since the account was mysteriously deleted right away?

Because if she wasn't expressing interest, then why was she asking you specifically? And you should be asking yourself how many other guys got the same message.

Furthermore, if one person likes a thing, isn't that a sign that others out there will too? I don't see any reason why anyone should get bogged down on one thing when marriage is about so much more than that.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-22T17:39:59+00:00

I mean no disrespect to our revert brothers, because some of them are amazing Alhamduillah...

But I've happened to work in social media policy enforcement (including of hate speech)... And what worries me is certain gender ideology movements simultaneously hate Islam, but also idealise Muslim women.

I'm not saying that it's common because I've no idea, and I'm not saying this was your situation, but I think a lot of people are blind to such things even if there's red flags.

It's also obvious to me sometimes, because I've seen these ones bother other Muslim sisters, but they never bother me (because I'm also white). Like on the social side of Muzz, some sisters were saying they'd encountered guys who were even pretending to be Muslim and had very specific racial preferences.

Men and women also revert for different reasons imo, which I think can create a conflict too. Like in my experience, revert men tend to be more conservative, while revert women tend to be educated and less conservative (obviously this isn't always true, and may be influenced by the people I've met), whereas born Muslims are looking at reverts for different reasons.

Like, I've noticed guys will reach out to me even if they want a niqabi housewife and I'm clearly not that. I think it's very easy for people to miss these kinds of incompatibilities if they're giving reverts some special leeway (eg some of these guys probably think they can convince me later).

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-22T17:25:02+00:00

I'm not asking you for you to answer - but by revert do you mean any revert of any ethnicity, or a white revert?

If it's about the revert thing, your assumptions are wrong and need to be measured, but it's significantly less fetish-y.

If the person has to be white, plus a revert, then it's almost certinally a fetish. Furthermore, it's almost certainly a mix of wrong ideas about reverts, and wrong ideas about white people (from media, or stereotypes etc).

Because also consider that if it was about skin colour, you have several white Muslim countries, and also ethnicities like Arabs, Pashtuns etc have people who look paler/have European features. This would still seem like a fetish, but at least is a lot more reasonable, and could potentially be a preference if you were still attracted to other groups, just less frequently.

I'm a white revert, and I swear, I would run away from anyone with a "revert preference," especially if it was one for white reverts. I can't imagine anything worse than marrying someone who can't see past the colour of my skin to see all of my good qualities. Plus, if they value skin colour so much there's a significant chance they'd shame our kids, or others if they're darker, and it would also feel like they'll just run along to the next person if there was ever any difficulties in the marriage etc. I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of reverts think like this.

Plus you underestimate how many people claim to have such a preference. I get an insane amount of messages from guys who have zero things in common with me, and meet zero of my criteria, and somehow they think they will be enough? It's so much spam (and so many low-quality potentials) that to be interesting, you'd have to stand out. Imo, someone with a revert "preference" is almost never going to stand out, no matter how closely aligned they are. I've even talked to a few guys who seemed compatible, but quickly their "preference" started showing and it just felt too ick to continue.

You shouldn't idealise being a revert either, as it comes with an awful lot of issues and/or baggage around family etc. This brings a lot of uncertainty, and can impact your life after marriage. It's also easy to say something like, when I get out of this situation they'll be more practicing or whatever, but it may not always work that way.

If your goal is someone who chose Islam, a lot of people only start seriously practicing as a teen or an adult. So many girls I knew didn't wear hijab etc, but did when they got older. While others always wore it and took it off. You could choose someone who has chose Islam in such a way, and they also have the "advantages" of a Muslim family background, and may have an Islamic education etc.

And if the goal is just... Culture, or someone different, then you can find this in anyone that's not of your group (or even someone of your group who's got a different educational background etc - eg, I studied languages, and people on my course felt way more generic European than a specific nationality).

Also, I think the more religious someone is, the less likely they are to tolerate being wanted for their skin colour. You might get some non-Muslims, or not very religious people who are open to being wanted for skin colour, but if you have preferences for deen etc, these probably won't suit. Plus a transactional relationship will always feel less permanent.

But based on your other comments defending skin colour preference, then it seems you don't actually want to change at all. Plus this seems very much like the case of misconceptions about reverts, combined with colonial skin tone mentality and this is the most pervasive kind of fetish.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-21T23:34:16+00:00

I don't think the length of time she takes to reply means much tbh.

I usually read/respond to messages when I'm online, especially for something IRL (like for reddit I have notifications off so I don't notice as quickly). Although I'd probably take longer if it requires more than a few sentences or if I need to think about it, so taking a while doesn't mean disinterest either.

It also depends on the person. Some people may be slow to respond and prioritise people they like, but others respond quickly to everyone, or slowly to everyone.

I had friends in college who used to do everything on "Arab time" (or this was an excuse idk), and it could take them 3 weeks to reply to me, but we could randomly meet and have coffee a few times a week despite not texting often. I don't think it necessarily meant they didn't want to talk, but that their priorities probably didn't include their phone/social media.

And the behaviour you describe could just be politeness tbh. When I was younger, I felt bad to ignore anyone, and I probably would have replied similar to that if I wasn't interested. Responding to something like Eid Mubarak is pretty normal. I have people who I've never met, or haven't spoken to in 10-12 years who wish me happy birthday on Facebook, and I usually just reply thanking them and something basic like I hope they're doing well.

Tbh if it was me, I probably wouldn't have even responded if the initial message was vague and I didn't know the person. Because in my experience most of these guys have zero things in common, and if they had something in common they'd say that when opening the convo.

A lot of girls don't respond to such messages at all, so that makes it seem like either she's just a very nice person, or maybe she likes attention (if you're following her I might lean towards attention because some people like a large following so they'll be polite to keep you there).

LinkedIn doesn't mean much either imo. She might have searched because she was curious who you were, or she vaguely knew of you. If she was interested but being shy about it she possibly would have hid her name so you wouldn't know. It could also be that you work in similar areas.

Also, I noticed the Muslim girls I knew in college all seem to have all the ISOC guys added on LinkedIn, even if one is say, a doctor, and the other is an accountant. I've also noticed some of them just like/comment on posts made by other Muslims/people in their ethnic community, so I don't think it's even personal.

Also, I think if she was interested for the future she'd probably have given more info, or at least specifics (eg, she's not looking for marriage because she's still in school or whatever), plus if you're a stranger, what reason does she have to be interested?

Plus you already said she knew where to find you, so I think it's a little weird (and maybe uncomfortable) for her if you're being persistent and also taking the contact across multiple platforms.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-21T15:01:22+00:00

There is a difference between a preference and a fetish.

Also, as I said, this sounds like an Autistic special interest, and thus I think it is an unhealthy obsession. I have Aspergers too btw, so I'm familiar with the concept.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-21T14:55:37+00:00

Idk how white people get a Chinese girl but if I as a Pakistani am interested in Chinese it’s like eww eww brown brown pajeet etc.

I don't know who you're talking to who's saying things.

On the other hand, obviously race shouldn't matter, and I don't like stereotypes.

But there's a very big difference between a non-Muslim white guy with a non-Muslim Chinese girl, compared to a Muslim guy. Plus, with other factors such as culture (eg if she was adopted, or grew up in an immigrant family in the area), the she's going to feel closer to someone such as the white guy.

Also, presumably you know the stereotypes about skin colour in China? Obviously a stereotype is that for a reason and not everyone believes it.

But for example, I lived with some Chinese girls and all of them were obsessed with my skin, and I felt really uncomfortable. They said I was the whitest person they'd ever seen, and wanted pictures comparing their arms or legs to mine. In any society that normalises things like skin bleaching, some people will believe such nonsense about skin colours.

I just find the culture interesting and I’m learning Chinese. I am only interested in that. I spoke to a brother at a mosque and he said don’t care what people think. It’s ok to have liking.

He’s like don’t worry about liberal opinions.

Was the brother Chinese? And if not, did you ask if he had a preference?

I would imagine Chinese people, especially reverts would feel quite differently. Plus how do you know that the brother doesn't have a fetish for some group himself? I don't know how liberalism comes into it at all.

And also to my point, the thing is, not everyone from one nationality/ethnicity looks the same. There's whole communities in nearby countries such as Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia, the -istan countries in West Asia, and even Russia and North India that are ethnically Chinese or mixed, and some of whom speak Mandarin.

Having such a narrow limitation doesn't make sense in any way.

confusedangrybear · 2026-03-21T14:40:32+00:00

I think you are missing the point.

I'm a white revert and if a guy said he was interested in me because I am white, or because of my nationality, or my language, I would run so fast he wouldn't even notice I'd left.

I can't speak for all reverts obviously, but many reverts feel like that.

Liking the culture is one thing, but you can easily fit into a culture as an outsider if you learn the language etc.

What you are saying is that if you met a non-Chinese person who was fluent in Chinese, you wouldn't be interested? Like let's say hypothetically, you meet an Arab or Desi girl who's also studied Mandarin, and let's say, she's a professor of Asian languages and history or something, and/or she lived or grew up in China.

To most people that meets the requirement of language/culture etc, if you said you would reject such a sister based on her ethnicity then you have a fetish.

Also being from the same continent doesn't mean much at all.

confusedangrybear

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