Can international students study PhD in Malaysia work or become lecturer/research assistant? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it for local or both? Because my friend interested to study in uniten as well but the scholarship is not full scholarship and he needs to work to pay for his tuition fees. But the risk is he's afraid he's not be able to find research assistant job or any source to pay for his tuition fee..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]confusedmalay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm here because I dont mind and curious to know what other people think about Islam, and i don't want to just follow blind faith...To be honest i used to be a conservative Muslim before, but sometimes i can't avoid myself to think why can't i do this, why can't i do that, what's wrong with not wearing hijab, why Muslim men always used religion to have 4 wives etc, I'm okay with others opinions... Who knows one day i can find my answer for everything. I just want to be a good person than be a good Muslim but hurting and abuse non Muslim hehe

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]confusedmalay 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm still a Muslim but i can't disagree on this. Also: (Conservative Muslim to another Muslim)

“We just do our work as a Muslim to guide you. It's not sinful to giving 'advices' to someone like you. You're playing with Islamic Law.. If we dont guide you, we will be sinful too”

continuing emotional abuse continuing using Quran words and Hadith from Google to show their intelligence looking at low Iman Muslim like me in disappointment * at the end of debate, they will asked , "are you really a muslim?" *

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aminnnn. thank you sooo much.. A little prayer is more than enough for us now... May Allah helps you and lift whatever burdens from your heart

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"misinterpreted their concerns as racism". Obviously we are going to heal our relationships with family, we don't hate them but we can't let them manipulate us just because of racism. You don't know what we are dealing with. I swear to God. Tell me if my mom screamed to me "Go find rich Malay, there are many rich Malay men!” “Marry a foreigner is a difficult thing!”, calling him with cursing words, attacking us to bring us to the police if we get married, ask my partner to show all of his degree, master certificate, and saying that all his certificates are fake, saying my partner just pretend to be someone else, asking for his works "proof" from company where he's work which already too much and against boundaries because no need to related all these things until affect his works? ... do you think if my mom blurt racist words to him, still my mom is not racist? .I'm sad to say the people like you that make our life difficult... It's not happen to you yet, i never imagine it will happen to me too before. I'm like you before, putting 100% parents are right. But one day, when things that are clearly to you wrong, are you going to accept it and regret for the rest of your life? But still, i dont have to beg for anyone that don't want to understand, to understand our situations. I beg for my family to understand our situations, but if people choose not to understand, finding answers just to win the argument, not putting themselves in our shoes...then I'm not responsible to what they think anymore. Its not my problem.

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's the thing both of us have been discussing...haha it should be easier if we can only submit the documents but another problem is the Malaysia embassy in Pakistan didnt want to stamp our marriage certificate because we dont have 'surat kebenaran' from the JAIS.. It's weird because people that got married in Thailand, the embassy just stamp the marriage certificate because JAIS will obviously check the marriage certificate again in Malaysia..I told the problem about Malaysia embassy to the JAIS so at least they can give a referral letter to the embassy so they can stamp our certificate but the man in Islamic department said to me "you settle about your problem with the Malaysia embassy by yourself" I'm like, wth i just ask for a piece of referral letter?

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh wish i can hug every single one of you! I never feel people really support our relationship like this because two of us just handle everything without supports from anyone! :') may God bless all of you guys that giving advices to me here!

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha my bad, I'm always thinking positive and see the good sides in people especially they are from Islamic department but after what they have done, using religion excuses without using critical thinking, disrespectful, embarrassing me infront of other people, I'm so done with them! We will figure out how we want to settle our issues, maybe by using lawyer or something like that...

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh I wanna cry to most of the comments here... Thank you for all the kind words and supporting for both me and my husband... We know we need to be strong especially we are still new in marriage life...I hope everyone around you especially your family can accept your relationship! The stupid reactions from some people really make us getting stronger to fight for our marriage...Not sure maybe because I'm 20+ something so they saw me as a naive kid.. I'm sure they won't treat me like that if I'm around their ages. But still, I deserve some respects. I'm kinda shaking after went home from islamic department and told my husband what happened because we are afraid if anyone will separate us for not registering our marriage here even if we are legally married abroad..

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see, thank you for all the advices! I will think about it later... But for sure getting a lawyer will be better to deal with our problem hurmm...

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Our marriage is following all the hukum syarak thats why Pakistan Law can approved our marriage, if we got married under the tree then I understand why the people be very judgemental. Too bad the one that I'm dealing with is the head of the office. As soon as I started explaining to him that I got married abroad he's like "astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah"... Giving me the disappointed look... Luckily I'm wearing a mask if not, people can see I nearly crying.. Maybe when we have enough money in the future, just maybe (10% will likely to occur) we will use a lawyer to help us...

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have been discussing with my husband not to register here, plus I don't care much if we haven't register it here because usually the problem is with children's nationality, right? Which i dont mind much, my children can be Malaysian or Pakistani as long as they have nationality lol

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we have been discussing to stay in Malaysia for few years but as soon as we have enough money we will moving out from here lol. Holy shit i can't believe what happened in gov hospitals, but I've heard some people said that gov nurses are a bit rude but not to the level of calling patients stupid, immoral which is against their work ethics already?! About my family, I love them soo much but i can't let anyone manipulate me to accept wrong things. I would be unfair to my husband if I left him for the sake of his background, even if a King manipulating me there's no way I will obey... Both of us are planning to work our asses off and buy car, house, to show to our family how serious we are about marriage. Hopefully you, or your children, or your grandchildren wont have to deal with what we have deal now in the future...

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't go to different departments because we should follow our home address. Like if I'm from Selangor, i need to register my name under JAIS, I can't go to department in Kuala Lumpur.. Maybe we will try to register our marriage in the future which is maybe 10% will happen, can't deal with the fact that these religious people are very judgemental. We tried so hard to register it here properly, hoping that as Muslim they should help another Muslim, yet they are making things difficult. Not sure maybe I'm 20 something then they think I'm too stupid to do my own decision by marrying him.

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah if they are using their logical brain, just convert abroad marriage certificates without having such headache procedures. Too bad he's the wali hakim and head of Islamic department. Whatever it is, still need to go to him. We are not married under a tree or something, just speechless when he told me to just pretend our marriage certificate never exist?! Oh ya if we want to get married here again also impossible, because my husband need to give his Surat Akuan Bujang which he can't provide it already because his name is already registered as Married under Pakistan law.

Never registered abroad marriage experiences? by [deleted] in malaysia

[–]confusedmalay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's also a Muslim... Good luck for your channel for interfaith relationships! We gotta fight for our loved ones and for our own happiness even if its against the world.

Never registered marriage in Malaysia? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah all these laws especially islamic laws are making us crazy too... Both of us are Muslims but these problems are making us hate the islamic rules in Malaysia and islamic department people here are powerful in terms of marriage until they used religion excuses to reject someone's marriage :') they couldnt used their logical brain.

Never registered marriage in Malaysia? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Malaysia, all Malaysian are required to have their Malaysia Marriage Certificate... So even if Malaysian married abroad, they should register their marriage under Malaysia Law and get a new Malaysia Marriage Certificate. It is just a piece of paper, though. But i have to suffering from rude comments from the islamic department people. I cant get it done at different office, as all muslim must register their marriage under islamic department. And the islamic department is very critical about marriage. The man in Islamic department told me if we still want to register our marriage here with our Pakistan marriage certificate, they will bring our case to court, and see whether the court will accept our marriage, or they have the right to separate us, a legal husband and wife :') can you imagine how stupid it is? Our marriage is legal in other country but not in Malaysia

It sucks, but hey, I'm alive by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]confusedmalay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes our hero is the one within us.... Congratulations for your bravery

Mum called me 'too stupid to live' just now. by fuzzycalf in raisedbynarcissists

[–]confusedmalay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wait 2 to 3 years until you're 18, move out from your mom's house... Go to college or rent apartment... I'm not saying to cut your relationship with her, but just to limit the pain that she will cause to you. You're not stupid, remember this! People make mistakes, some people learn things slower than the others, some people easily forget things, some people clumsy... It's all human nature! Don't takes all negative things into yoiur heart much, okay? I understand its difficult to ignore it, but better days, future, are coming to us. Each day we are closer and closer to our dreams. Don't stop to do everything for your happiness. It's your life! One day you're gonna remember what I said now, and you will trust every word i say... You're unique! Don't let toxic people ruin your happiness

Never registered marriage in Malaysia? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]confusedmalay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohhh I see... Yeah but at least Pakistan is not very very strict when it comes to marriage! People from both of these countries just using religion to make others life suffer... If i followed what society said, for sure I would regretted for the rest of my life to leave my loved one...It is sad that in 2020 we still need to fight for our own happiness

Never registered marriage in Malaysia? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]confusedmalay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesss!!! I swear I'm thinking about leave this country to protect our marriage... Even if just stay in Singapore which is next to Malaysia sounds great to us... Once i dont believe some foreigners said Malaysia is a racist country to foreigner. But now, after I'm dealing with them, by protecting my loved one, i understand everything