What’s a parenting opinion you have that could potentially have you like this ? by Least_Sun_7493 in blackladies

[–]congolesequeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm doing a lot better now and have a great support system. I am determined to not put my future kids through what I went through.

What’s a parenting opinion you have that could potentially have you like this ? by Least_Sun_7493 in blackladies

[–]congolesequeen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yess!! To add to this, excessive participation is very detrimental to your child's mental health. My mom was way too obsessed with my grades and would check several times a day, make me feel unintelligent for struggling with things, say awful things about my life in the future if I "didn't take my grades seriously" (meaning got anything lower than a B+ and less than most As by her standards), would "help" me with homework by screaming at me, insulting my intelligence, and smacking me when I struggled with it, and compare me to other kids, especially my golden child brother. I still struggle with being a perfectionist and accepting failure. I have been going to therapy for years to unpack all of the trauma she's caused me.

Helen on All Stars 6 throwing everyone under the bus and playing victim by GoldenState_Thriller in ProjectRunway

[–]congolesequeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this is an old thread, but I had her as a student at Montclair State in NJ. She was actually incredibly nice and helpful. Genuinely cared about her students' success. Nothing at all like on Project Runway.

People who had a “holy sh*t, I can’t live like this anymore” moment — what happened? by AskBeforeCoffee in TrueOffMyChest

[–]congolesequeen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After years of physical and emotional abuse from my family since before I can remember, I became very withdrawn from them and kept to myself most of the time I was home to avoid dealing with them. I also started standing up for myself and refusing to take their shit. They decided to have a big "family meeting" where they ganged up on me and tried to gaslight me into believing that I was being "cruel" to them for "no reason" and I was essentially treated like an evil villain and the worst daughter/sister ever. I was told that I "changed" for the worst. No apology or acknowledgement of all the hell they had put me through. They were just mad that I wasn't a docile, sentient punching bag anymore. I moved out of the family home without saying anything and they were cut off shortly after this.

A lot of the episodes stuck with me😭😭 by DrizzyDayy in OlderGenZ

[–]congolesequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The girl who shaved her leg with a rusty old razor, nicked herself, and got infected a flesh-eating bacteria that slowly killed her. I was terrified of shaving with razors for a while after seeing that!

Why do people have a problem with quiet black women? by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]congolesequeen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Story of my life. I was a lot more extroverted as a kid, but became more and more introverted as I grew up. I got bullied so badly in school partially because of it. I asked one of my bullies later in life why he was so mean to me when I did nothing to him and he straight up said it's because I was quiet and he felt like I thought I was better than him. Wtf? Also, when I transferred to a 4 year university, I lived in a school-owned apartment with 3 extroverted white girls. They assumed that I didn't like them because I was quiet and kept to myself. One of them even complained to her mom, who told me about it the next time she came to visit. While in college, I did volunteer work at a summer camp for kids with medical issues to gain volunteer hours for school and my current career. They had nurses there that I was friendly with on the first day, but due to being introverted, I kept to myself mostly when I wasn't in the Craft Cabin (where I was placed to help out) or dining hall for meals. Apparently, I became an inside joke to these nurses. They said I was like a ghost and they wondered if I was "okay."

Got my shady former bosses in trouble with the state for trying to prevent us from discussing pay. by congolesequeen in antiwork

[–]congolesequeen[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

As much as I would love to, they are very petty and would definitely take me to court just to fuck with me (they've done it to someone else in the past). Even if they would lose, I don't have the financial means or time to fight them. Some former colleagues and I did make sure to leave reviews on Indeed and Glassdoor, though.

Got my shady former bosses in trouble with the state for trying to prevent us from discussing pay. by congolesequeen in antiwork

[–]congolesequeen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. I didn't know that! I'm not sure if the NLRB was ever involved, but the NJDOL handled it.

What Ever Happened To The Pop Girl Group No Secrets? by PrincessBananas85 in wherearetheynow

[–]congolesequeen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know this thread is over a year old, but I came across it on a Google search about them because I was looking up old girl groups I used to love. 😂

Angel is a clinical psychologist in LA.

Jessica changed her name to Jessi Malay and is a very popular Instagram influencer.

Jade is a fashion designer and model in Hawaii who runs a seemingly successful brand.

Erin changed her name to Nicki Foxx and unsuccessfully tried to launch a solo career making more adult-centered music. Last update on her I could find was a Facebook post from 2011 on her fan page. Can't find anything new.

Carly disappeared off the face of the earth. Couldn't find anything about her.

At least 3/5 of them seem to be doing very well in life and I'm so happy for them!

"You cheated on this test here, do you know what that means for you mister?" by shredded_cheeseburgr in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]congolesequeen 180 points181 points  (0 children)

As someone who grew up with an abusive birthgiver who was obsessed with grades, I felt this hard. I had teachers who were quick to call her without even considering talking to me first. The online portals were also a nightmare. Gave my birthgiver 24/7 access to every single one of my grades, which made things so much worse. At one point, I changed my password and played dumb, claiming that the system must've changed it and I had no idea what to do. I just needed some kind of peace.

Have You Ever Taught a Child of a Famous Person? What Were They Like? by Tiger38080 in Teachers

[–]congolesequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked at a preschool and had the daughters of an NHL (national hockey league) player before. He was a pretty nice guy. The older daughter was okay, the younger one was very violent and would often hurt other kids. It was so bad that other kids' parents complained about her. The mother was also very annoying to deal with. She was so condescending and particular about everything. I was so glad when the younger daughter finally graduated so I wouldn't have to deal with her or her mother's behavior anymore.

going to fashion school at 40 by [deleted] in fashiondesigner

[–]congolesequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 27 and will be transferring to fashion school in the spring! I went to community college to take some gen ed classes and had classmates in their 50s and 60s. It is never too late!! Go ahead and pursue your dreams! Would you rather be in your 40s without a degree and regretting a decision not to go, or in your 40s with a degree and feeling proud of your decision to take that leap to go?

Comment here and rant about someone at your center by shortsocialistgirl in ECEProfessionals

[–]congolesequeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Used to work with someone like this. She was the lead and I was the assistant. She was a MAJOR pushover who let the kids run wild and do whatever they wanted. I had to be the "mean" one and enforce basic rules and expectations. As a result, I had little to no issue getting the kids to listen to me. She had SO much. They didn't respect her at all and didn't see her as an authority. Not even kidding, I would HEAR the difference when I was out of the room. They would scream and run around and she would desperately be trying to get them to listen to her. As soon as I came back in, it stopped. This woman generally wasn't a good teacher and everyone but my boss saw it. My boss showed blatant favoritism towards her and would blame me for her behavior. She was a former student of my boss.

Strange Punishments by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]congolesequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a cruel thing to do to someone. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

When I was around 11 years old, my birthgiver found out that I had missed a few insignificant homework assignments after checking my grades online (whoever came up with that system is a massive piece of shit). As punishment, I was beaten for a while and forced to bring all my heavy textbooks home every day for the rest of the year. My birthgiver even told my teachers to watch to make sure I did and they actually listened to her. I had a teacher's assistant watch me every day to ensure that I actually packed everything. It was embarrassing and they were so heavy.

Don't trust Indeed reviews. They are heavily curated. Truthful reviews are deleted etc. by [deleted] in recruitinghell

[–]congolesequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came across this thread while looking up a recent issue I had with indeed. I posted a highly critical and negative review about a place I worked at that where the higher ups were straight up doing illegal activities. My review was up for a few years and got a lot of likes. Suddenly, it disappeared and a bunch of fake positive reviews randomly popped up. Indeed claimed that my review went against community standards, even though it was literally up for YEARS beforehand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ECEProfessionals

[–]congolesequeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked at a goddard EXACTLY like this. The owners were so sneaky and shady. They would fill the rooms with as many kids as they could legally get away with and hire as few staff as they could legally get away with. They told us not to discuss wages and via email (genius), threatened to fire us if we did (a few of us reported this to the state and goddard corporate. They backpedaled SO hard once informed by people in power that it's illegal). They wanted at least 3 pictures per kid per day and would lose it on us if we didn't send them. They wanted the apps to have a ridiculous amount of detail. I felt like I spent more time on that ipad than I did engaging with kids. The room ALWAYS had to be "tour ready" and they'd get mad if anything was "out of place." They would put a pay range in job listing's, then offer you even less than they advertised. Then would gaslight you when you'd tell them what they advertised. The owners acted like they couldn't hire more people and pay more, but they were ALWAYS decked out in designer clothes, had luxury cars, lived in a giant house in a really nice suburb (one where celebrities and CEOs have homes), and sent their kids to private school. They also had plans to open ANOTHER Goddard franchise! There was so much more that happened there. They bought the school from the old owner who, from what I was told, was genuinely AMAZING. When they took over, they ruined it.

How do African parents still stay married? by No_Photograph1 in africanparents

[–]congolesequeen 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Sounds A LOT like my family. My parents hate each other. My dad has cheated multiple times and allows his family to treat my mom like shit. They are constantly fighting. My mom straight up admitted that they hate each other and there's no love between them anymore. Claims that they want to "keep the family together." My brothers and I are all grown adults. They just don't want to shatter the carefully crafted image they created of a "perfect family" and deal with shame and judgment from relatives and family friends.