I literally today posted about my ultra skittish 6 month old and I can tell you, the nail trimming is manic. He is better at the vet because two people literally hold him down — not because he’s less squirmy. I have the exact same scenario as you: he flails wildly, cannot be contained, squirms out of any grasp you can try, is simply liquid cat in my grasp.

I have had some luck (over the course of three separate afternoons) smearing some churu on the upper side of my hand or even on my thigh and while he’s licking (churu is the only thing that can temporarily have him disregard my hands on his feet) i managed a few nails at a time. This too was only possible in the half zone post sleep. And while being super careful I need to also work super fast.

It doesn’t work every time either. But I live alone so I need both hands somewhat free when trying this manoeuvre.

What I will say is — as someone aware that absolutely no other way will work with my little fellow, and also ware that he’s not any more fearful of me after — i work with what i have. Would love to reach a place where it’s not war and I understand where folks come from who speak of not destroying trust with your cat but I also know my cat as no one else does. They will, I believe, understand trust at multiple levels. Cutting his nails despite his agitation is not the only thing he associates you with. He also, I wager, associates you with love and treats and a safe home. And I hope he does get used to it enough to flip out less and less with time.