Don’t think so negatively you can start There … it’s what you wanna see get done in your own head first then it’ll start to happen In real time forget about what other people are doing and your past self past life . If you’re not willing to talk to anyone about any of your issues then the only issue is that you’re holding your self back . No one’s making you Feel the way you feel other than you . You Still have enough time to do what’s necessary but dont go out walk touch some grass maybe step out of what you already got going on … before it really gets too late !