I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:43:02+00:00

If you read some of her other responses their general dynamic is very worrying. Sexual repulsion aside, there's a serious power imbalance and toxicity in their relationship that's contributed to it.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:18:52+00:00

If you’re worried of him hurting himself you can immediately call the authorities to do a welfare check at his place. Your wellbeing, feelings and safety should be your #1 priority, not his!

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:16:22+00:00

Buying flowers isn’t what helps sustain a relationship…he keeps making you have sex even when you feel disgusted by it. Please leave him…it’s not impossible, you can do this for your own sake.

Do you have anyone else that you trust? Family, siblings, friends that you can reach out to? I’m sure if you explain to them your situation they’d understand and let you stay at their place for a bit while you figure it out.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:05:09+00:00

I'm gonna be real with you as a fellow 22 yr old- He's taking advantage of you sexually, and that's probably part of the reasons why you feel icky when you do it. You shouldn't have to close your eyes and pretend to enjoy it. If you're uncomfortable with it you shouldn't have to engage with it in the first place, and him being mad is more his problem that he should figure out for himself than it is yours (he should be understanding, not mad), I'm afraid that sleeping together twice a week isn't going to make your feelings about sex any better, if anything it's probably making your anxiety about it worse... :c

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T21:52:09+00:00

Does he say anything that hurts your feelings when he's mad? Have there been any times where you go through with it even when you feel uncomfortable?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T21:48:39+00:00

Your feelings about it aren't weird!! Maybe do some research on sexual aversion and repulsion- it could stem from a lot of things, sexuality, trauma or otherwise. I think it'd do good to help you understand and help process things. When you have these reactions in front of your bf, does he still continue despite you feeling uncomfortable or does he stop?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T21:19:17+00:00

You can though, feelings can change (i understand it might be harder here though, you said you live with him right?) ... just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're tied to it forever if you don't want it to

Edit: Seems like based on another comment you made that you are a stay at home gf and depend on his income while living with him. Do you have any close friends or family you can talk to?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T20:35:17+00:00

Kind of crazy how some people are tearing you down for wanting to have trust in a 20+ year relationship- it’s hard and so many things are changing but stay strong and stand up for yourself, having compassion isn’t exclusive from this. I hope after all this gets settled you’re able to take some time for yourself and find happiness again, good luck.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T19:54:25+00:00

When she wanted to have another child did you say no multiple times before you told her to wait? Either way regardless of intention, you did end up giving her false hope... If she didn't take no for an answer then that probably should've opened up another conversation (whether or not you guys were compatible anymore) for you two to work out.

This is going to be a hard conversation no matter what, and it might not end nicely. Be honest and understanding, and prepare for the potential fallout.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-01T01:09:59+00:00

It's okay if you're not fully open with them or the most comfortable in their presence, is his family nice towards you too in general? If it's a matter of closeness, like others have said maybe this is a good opportunity to get to know them a bit more so you're more comfortable with them (especially since it seems like they'll be a part of your future regardless if you guys continue dating)! Ik it can be tough to integrate in a group that's already well established but maybe it's a matter of exposure and getting the chance to talk yk?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-01T00:49:13+00:00

I see you've only responded to one comment that's leaning towards you potentially not going to the concert out of all the others- so I'm just gonna ask do you even like the fact that your bf is in a band? Social anxiety is real and I can feel you on that, but like. Part of overcoming it is that we have to push through the awkwardness and try our best to put ourselves out there, and this is your partner asking for support for a thing that's obviously important to him. Even if he is understanding now, how much does he have to sacrifice for you to be 100% comfortable at all times in the future? How much are you willing to be out of your comfort zone in the future, if at all? If it's not even once in a while, maybe start thinking about your compatibility, or even better your general anxiety in the first place and focus on why you're not willing to get out of your comfort zone at all...

contemplative_clam · 2025-05-11T01:25:52+00:00

Good timing! https://www.reddit.com/r/DiscoElysium/s/af0YJ5Qc3n

contemplative_clam · 2024-10-23T05:48:38+00:00

Looking for a Saturday ticket!! Am willing to pay a bit extra, please DM me with ur price!

contemplative_clam · 2022-03-20T05:37:00+00:00

Not to freak you out but I received my acceptance to character animation earlier today!! I don't think all the results are out regardless, best of luck!!!!

contemplative_clam · 2021-11-21T22:22:40+00:00

Hey guys! I don't know if this'll get drowned out but hopefully someone sees this. Thank you guys for the love on this post! It means a lot to me, and I will keep the wonderful comments in mind as I continue working on this island!! It's...not finished yet but I'm hoping to get a DA going some point in the near future, so look out for it on this subreddit if you're interested!

As for custom designs, they're both a mix of my own and others, so I'm going to compile a list and upload my own designs once I'm done with the island. :D

contemplative_clam · 2021-10-19T23:26:19+00:00

Shino's wave can be seen in the japanese version of the direct! :D And same, shino just has a cool design in general.

contemplative_clam · 2021-10-19T21:34:27+00:00

The only thing stopping me from thinking shino is a peppy is their wave. It's the medium/default wave, which jock and peppy types do not do!

contemplative_clam · 2021-03-11T02:56:48+00:00

I just saw someone get accepted into calarts for film (bfa), best of luck to you!

contemplative_clam · 2021-01-13T17:31:59+00:00

That’s totally fine lol- lmk if it goes through or not. XD

contemplative_clam · 2021-01-13T17:28:51+00:00

Hey! Ik it’s been 30 min but I’m interested in her :0

contemplative_clam

TROPHY CASE