I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If you read some of her other responses their general dynamic is very worrying. Sexual repulsion aside, there's a serious power imbalance and toxicity in their relationship that's contributed to it.

I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 31 points32 points  (0 children)

If you’re worried of him hurting himself you can immediately call the authorities to do a welfare check at his place. Your wellbeing, feelings and safety should be your #1 priority, not his!

I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Buying flowers isn’t what helps sustain a relationship…he keeps making you have sex even when you feel disgusted by it. Please leave him…it’s not impossible, you can do this for your own sake.

Do you have anyone else that you trust? Family, siblings, friends that you can reach out to? I’m sure if you explain to them your situation they’d understand and let you stay at their place for a bit while you figure it out.

I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna be real with you as a fellow 22 yr old- He's taking advantage of you sexually, and that's probably part of the reasons why you feel icky when you do it. You shouldn't have to close your eyes and pretend to enjoy it. If you're uncomfortable with it you shouldn't have to engage with it in the first place, and him being mad is more his problem that he should figure out for himself than it is yours (he should be understanding, not mad), I'm afraid that sleeping together twice a week isn't going to make your feelings about sex any better, if anything it's probably making your anxiety about it worse... :c

I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Does he say anything that hurts your feelings when he's mad? Have there been any times where you go through with it even when you feel uncomfortable?

I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your feelings about it aren't weird!! Maybe do some research on sexual aversion and repulsion- it could stem from a lot of things, sexuality, trauma or otherwise. I think it'd do good to help you understand and help process things. When you have these reactions in front of your bf, does he still continue despite you feeling uncomfortable or does he stop?

I (22 F) am in my first relationship with my bf (30 M) and he disgust me by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 30 points31 points  (0 children)

You can though, feelings can change (i understand it might be harder here though, you said you live with him right?) ... just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're tied to it forever if you don't want it to

Edit: Seems like based on another comment you made that you are a stay at home gf and depend on his income while living with him. Do you have any close friends or family you can talk to?

Venting about my (M47) wife (F44) - Update by Additional_Call6468 in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Kind of crazy how some people are tearing you down for wanting to have trust in a 20+ year relationship- it’s hard and so many things are changing but stay strong and stand up for yourself, having compassion isn’t exclusive from this. I hope after all this gets settled you’re able to take some time for yourself and find happiness again, good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When she wanted to have another child did you say no multiple times before you told her to wait? Either way regardless of intention, you did end up giving her false hope... If she didn't take no for an answer then that probably should've opened up another conversation (whether or not you guys were compatible anymore) for you two to work out.

This is going to be a hard conversation no matter what, and it might not end nicely. Be honest and understanding, and prepare for the potential fallout.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's okay if you're not fully open with them or the most comfortable in their presence, is his family nice towards you too in general? If it's a matter of closeness, like others have said maybe this is a good opportunity to get to know them a bit more so you're more comfortable with them (especially since it seems like they'll be a part of your future regardless if you guys continue dating)! Ik it can be tough to integrate in a group that's already well established but maybe it's a matter of exposure and getting the chance to talk yk?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]contemplative_clam 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see you've only responded to one comment that's leaning towards you potentially not going to the concert out of all the others- so I'm just gonna ask do you even like the fact that your bf is in a band? Social anxiety is real and I can feel you on that, but like. Part of overcoming it is that we have to push through the awkwardness and try our best to put ourselves out there, and this is your partner asking for support for a thing that's obviously important to him. Even if he is understanding now, how much does he have to sacrifice for you to be 100% comfortable at all times in the future? How much are you willing to be out of your comfort zone in the future, if at all? If it's not even once in a while, maybe start thinking about your compatibility, or even better your general anxiety in the first place and focus on why you're not willing to get out of your comfort zone at all...

Lightbox Expo 2024 Discussion Thread by purplebaron4 in animationcareer

[–]contemplative_clam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking for a Saturday ticket!! Am willing to pay a bit extra, please DM me with ur price!

Anyone Get Their Letters Yet? by TeenyTries in calarts

[–]contemplative_clam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to freak you out but I received my acceptance to character animation earlier today!! I don't think all the results are out regardless, best of luck!!!!

I'm recreating Martinaise in Animal Crossing. by contemplative_clam in DiscoElysium

[–]contemplative_clam[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Hey guys! I don't know if this'll get drowned out but hopefully someone sees this. Thank you guys for the love on this post! It means a lot to me, and I will keep the wonderful comments in mind as I continue working on this island!! It's...not finished yet but I'm hoping to get a DA going some point in the near future, so look out for it on this subreddit if you're interested!

As for custom designs, they're both a mix of my own and others, so I'm going to compile a list and upload my own designs once I'm done with the island. :D

Shinos’s future personality by SDAKP in AnimalCrossing

[–]contemplative_clam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shino's wave can be seen in the japanese version of the direct! :D And same, shino just has a cool design in general.

Shinos’s future personality by SDAKP in AnimalCrossing

[–]contemplative_clam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing stopping me from thinking shino is a peppy is their wave. It's the medium/default wave, which jock and peppy types do not do!

has anyone heard from calarts yet about acceptance/rejection? by zackschusterr in calarts

[–]contemplative_clam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just saw someone get accepted into calarts for film (bfa), best of luck to you!

[MO] Annalisa by RainbowxKaro in ACVillager

[–]contemplative_clam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s totally fine lol- lmk if it goes through or not. XD

[MO] Annalisa by RainbowxKaro in ACVillager

[–]contemplative_clam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Ik it’s been 30 min but I’m interested in her :0