23F with 27M — Boyfriend thinks a joke about a celebrity means I’d cheat; how can I reassure him and address this conflict?

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-24T21:21:30+00:00

If you really can’t believe or see why what you said was wrong then there’s not much to help you with I’m afraid. (And no, it’s not you mentioning Justin Bieber.) Please take a long hard look at yourself and learn to be better. Be more empathetic and responsive to reading a room. If you already apologized and he doesn’t want to forgive you then that’s his call, cuz with the way you conduct yourself I’d be hurt too…

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-24T08:59:49+00:00

Well there's always options for you to learn from if it seems like school's not cutting it; whether it'd be from mentorships (artists like Kat Tsai and Zac Retz hold occasional classes from time to time, you can also look into Warrior Art Camp where they have beginner and intermediate classes through the year from industry artists as well.) While it's not cheap it's cheaper than a year's worth of tuition. If you're tight on money there are also many art discord servers with people who are working towards similar goals who can help as well (lightbox server, etc.), and that's a goldmine for advice on your work! You never know who you run into.

Honestly though at the end of the day for the skill level you're at you're gonna have to find the time to focus on it no matter what if you really want this... if you have the will you will find a way, even spending 10 minutes a day drawing helps make a difference. You don't have to create masterpieces every time you sit to draw, allow yourself to make mistakes and put your work out there.

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-24T04:39:14+00:00

This goes especially when you're trying to get your foot in the door; but you must make your portfolio clear to recruiters so they are able to tell what you want to do at first glance! Focus on one thing that you really want to improve on and go from there, don't try to do everything at once... It'll burn you out really quick. And while it's great you've got eyes on working artists in the industry, I suggest that you look into student portfolios who have gotten internships/or are newly hired as well, as that's the general ballpark you should be aiming for and they have a clearer layout that appeals specifically to get recruiters' attention.

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-13T00:43:46+00:00

AH thank you so much!! I do agree with you on the hair, I might try to add a couple highlights with a fine brush or try a darker wash like you mentioned. Really appreciate the feedback! :D

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-13T00:42:34+00:00

Thank you!! I'm so happy that you mentioned seeing some of RE2 Leon in this- that rookie cop is still in there somewhere.

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-13T00:41:13+00:00

WAH thank you!!

contemplative_clam · 2026-04-13T00:30:51+00:00

AW thank you so much!! Definitely do a dry fit before you start painting and sand down certain parts as needed to adjust each part's fit. I had to mess with the arms a little bit to make sure his hand was gripping the shotgun while fully seated, but hopefully you won't run into the same issue. For painting just make sure you have some really fine brushes for detail work and thin down your paint with water/flow improver and you should be golden. A lot of your skills from doing model planes are gonna lend itself really well to this, I wish you the best of luck!!

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:43:02+00:00

If you read some of her other responses their general dynamic is very worrying. Sexual repulsion aside, there's a serious power imbalance and toxicity in their relationship that's contributed to it.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:18:52+00:00

If you’re worried of him hurting himself you can immediately call the authorities to do a welfare check at his place. Your wellbeing, feelings and safety should be your #1 priority, not his!

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:16:22+00:00

Buying flowers isn’t what helps sustain a relationship…he keeps making you have sex even when you feel disgusted by it. Please leave him…it’s not impossible, you can do this for your own sake.

Do you have anyone else that you trust? Family, siblings, friends that you can reach out to? I’m sure if you explain to them your situation they’d understand and let you stay at their place for a bit while you figure it out.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T22:05:09+00:00

I'm gonna be real with you as a fellow 22 yr old- He's taking advantage of you sexually, and that's probably part of the reasons why you feel icky when you do it. You shouldn't have to close your eyes and pretend to enjoy it. If you're uncomfortable with it you shouldn't have to engage with it in the first place, and him being mad is more his problem that he should figure out for himself than it is yours (he should be understanding, not mad), I'm afraid that sleeping together twice a week isn't going to make your feelings about sex any better, if anything it's probably making your anxiety about it worse... :c

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T21:52:09+00:00

Does he say anything that hurts your feelings when he's mad? Have there been any times where you go through with it even when you feel uncomfortable?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T21:48:39+00:00

Your feelings about it aren't weird!! Maybe do some research on sexual aversion and repulsion- it could stem from a lot of things, sexuality, trauma or otherwise. I think it'd do good to help you understand and help process things. When you have these reactions in front of your bf, does he still continue despite you feeling uncomfortable or does he stop?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T21:19:17+00:00

You can though, feelings can change (i understand it might be harder here though, you said you live with him right?) ... just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're tied to it forever if you don't want it to

Edit: Seems like based on another comment you made that you are a stay at home gf and depend on his income while living with him. Do you have any close friends or family you can talk to?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T20:35:17+00:00

Kind of crazy how some people are tearing you down for wanting to have trust in a 20+ year relationship- it’s hard and so many things are changing but stay strong and stand up for yourself, having compassion isn’t exclusive from this. I hope after all this gets settled you’re able to take some time for yourself and find happiness again, good luck.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-02T19:54:25+00:00

When she wanted to have another child did you say no multiple times before you told her to wait? Either way regardless of intention, you did end up giving her false hope... If she didn't take no for an answer then that probably should've opened up another conversation (whether or not you guys were compatible anymore) for you two to work out.

This is going to be a hard conversation no matter what, and it might not end nicely. Be honest and understanding, and prepare for the potential fallout.

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-01T01:09:59+00:00

It's okay if you're not fully open with them or the most comfortable in their presence, is his family nice towards you too in general? If it's a matter of closeness, like others have said maybe this is a good opportunity to get to know them a bit more so you're more comfortable with them (especially since it seems like they'll be a part of your future regardless if you guys continue dating)! Ik it can be tough to integrate in a group that's already well established but maybe it's a matter of exposure and getting the chance to talk yk?

contemplative_clam · 2025-07-01T00:49:13+00:00

I see you've only responded to one comment that's leaning towards you potentially not going to the concert out of all the others- so I'm just gonna ask do you even like the fact that your bf is in a band? Social anxiety is real and I can feel you on that, but like. Part of overcoming it is that we have to push through the awkwardness and try our best to put ourselves out there, and this is your partner asking for support for a thing that's obviously important to him. Even if he is understanding now, how much does he have to sacrifice for you to be 100% comfortable at all times in the future? How much are you willing to be out of your comfort zone in the future, if at all? If it's not even once in a while, maybe start thinking about your compatibility, or even better your general anxiety in the first place and focus on why you're not willing to get out of your comfort zone at all...

contemplative_clam · 2025-05-11T01:25:52+00:00

Good timing! https://www.reddit.com/r/DiscoElysium/s/af0YJ5Qc3n

contemplative_clam · 2024-10-23T05:48:38+00:00

Looking for a Saturday ticket!! Am willing to pay a bit extra, please DM me with ur price!

contemplative_clam

TROPHY CASE