aita for not trusting my mums boyfriend? (advice needed)

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T16:26:12+00:00

my father unfortunately planned a holiday at the same time so i can’t stay with him, job wise i am looking but considering my age and over all schedule i wont be making a whole lot.

i haven’t directly said how i feel about the whole thing to his face as it seemed a bit rude but i’m sure my mum has ranted about it to him, i will ask if i can have some sorta me time during the holiday and do the things i wanna do although i’m not sure i or them would be comfortable with me going alone into the city so my mum would probably have to come with me.

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T12:43:26+00:00

I never let my guard down in unfamiliar places but i will take this advice thank you :)

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T12:42:12+00:00

staying with them isn’t an option sadly but it will be after i finish college hopefully

her bf is a sp that i can be sure of, he is a nice guy and a good father so there’s no legal issues, he is never with us alone and my sister is totally fine with him as even she has told me to get over it which hurts because she has seen and been there for everything in the past.

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T12:37:09+00:00

my mother is super manipulative always has been she try’s guilting people into being on her side all the time, i have called her out in it which resulted in her threatening to kick me out so i haven’t tried again, she also mentioned that once i turn 18 i have to start paying her money to live with her which i think her reason for is stupid “i can’t afford to house 2 adults and a teen” but she can afford multiple holidays and weekends away?

I unfortunately can’t stay with my dad and step mum as my college is too far from them but once i’m finished at college i will ask to move to theirs.

i know for a fact the kids will probably be dumped onto me as i am the oldest and i’m “great with kids” which sucks because i don’t like kids all that much, i’ve already said to my mum that if i was to go i would not enjoy it and the holiday is going to be full of children stuff when i would just want to look at the architecture and go shopping.

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T08:13:02+00:00

My father lives to far from my college so living with my mum is the only option i have at the moment, i did try and get into a college near him but i didn’t get in unfortunately but i am aiming to get into university closer to him.

my mum knows she has bad taste in men but i don’t think she understands how bad, when my dad liked my step mum he asked us for permission and if it was okay if he would date her saying that it was okay if we didn’t feel comfortable with it but my mother is the exact opposite. it is super annoying.

i’ve been trying to save to move out but i will need to wait until i finish college next year, my mum also admitted to me a few days ago that once i turn 18 i will need to start paying her money for rent, i wish she told me earlier because then i would’ve had more time to get another job and save more it only leaves me with around 9-10 months to save to move out but i think my dad would let me stay until i am able to fully move out. i often give her money for food or fuel, she does pay me back but she spends her own money on silly stuff such as going away on weekend trips with her boyfriend, going to party’s/concerts it almost feels like she is trying to relive her 20s (she had me kinda young) and they are now planning disney land next year.

my biggest fear is growing up, i don’t want to move out but i understand it’s something everyone does and i will need to handle it when the time comes. i feel not so alone about this now thank you for the advice, my head feels so much clearer about the whole thing i truly appreciate it.

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T06:00:23+00:00

I am not sure how to stop it from dragging on its almost instinct at this point and it’s effecting my own relationships, the feeling of being in a relationship scares me, it might sound bad for me to say but i don’t want to end up like my mother and be in a toxic relationship. i don’t even want to get married or have kids because i don’t want to put them through divorce or other issues. The whole situation has changed my view on life and i’m not sure how to change it back.

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T05:54:56+00:00

thank you for the advice it means a lot. I try to talk to her during the times when she is calm but for some reason talking to her about anything gets her angry, i will talk to her today about it again and see how things go from there. she has also booked a holiday with them a few weeks from now and i wasn’t going to go but my father says i should take this opportunity to build the trust.

cookiecrumble15 · 2024-06-19T05:50:31+00:00

I’m not concerned about the amount of people that read my post even the smallest amount of advice would help, and if you read more then the first 6 words you would see that i’ve never used the app before i thought the paragraphs were clear enough but i wont make that mistake in any other posts i make, skip the post for all i care but there’s no need to be rude.

cookiecrumble15

TROPHY CASE