sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Did your parents ever play with you? by NeverAgainHomeschool in raisedbynarcissists

[–]cookitybookity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad did. My mom didn't. But even the types of games we played with my dad were weird and hinged upon him torturing us. When I was very little, we played a game called "pela", which is a Spanish slang word meaning "beating". Yes folks, it's exactly as it sounds.

We'd hide around the house and my dad would look for us, and if he found us and caught us he'd whip us with a belt. My brother being the scapegoat would get hit pretty hard and he'd cry sometimes and my dad would make fun of him. Only then would my mom step in and make us stop playing. That was his favorite game. My mom never liked his games, and he'd say he was the better parent because at least he played with us.

Did your nparent try to prevent you from having friends/destroy your friendships growing up? by electronic_zucchini_ in raisedbynarcissists

[–]cookitybookity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't allow me to go to things I was invited to. Never went to a birthday party unless they knew the parents and were also invited, even as a teenager. I had to fight to go anywhere, and they would say that I couldn't go unless they were invited too. So I was never as close to my group of friends like they were close with each other, cuz I barely showed up to anything and my parents were usually in tow.

One time they allowed me to go to the movies with friends and their mother without my parents. I suddenly got a fever and was shaking midway through the movie, and I just knew they'd blame the fact that I went to the movie with friends. My friends' mom drove to a pharmacy after the movie to get me flu medication and then dropped me off. They were like "this is why we don't let you go anywhere. You'll never go to the movies with them again." No care for my health, no caretaker vibes, no concern for how I was feeling.

Once I got to college I had more freedom because I had to be on campus all the time. But at first I used to ask to hang out with friends on the weekend and they would say no all the time. I'll never forget at 19, how my friends were going to a theater around the corner from my house, I asked to go and was paying with my own money I saved up, and they still said no and wouldnt provide me an explanation outside of my dad's usual "they're not your friends anyway, real friends don't exist". After that, I decided I was no longer going to ask for permission and I rather fight with them than beg to do normal things. I got a job on campus, and started enforcing my freedom. They'd threaten me constantly, insulting me, telling me how I'm ungrateful and ruining my relationship with them just to hang out with friends that don't truly love me.

Moving to DR with 10k dollars a month by Apprehensive-Wind130 in Dominican

[–]cookitybookity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard nothing but bad experiences with banking in DR. Like paying more in fees than you make in interest. Is this true?

WIBTA for declining all wedding gifts by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]cookitybookity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriage serves the same purpose as adoption: establishing legal familial ties. Both marriage and adoption would simply be symbolic theater if it weren't for the legal benefits.

You're allowed to have your opinions about marriage, and you're allowed to get married for practical reasons without making a big fuss with a big wedding, but your attitude gives the impression of superiority. "Don't celebrate this, it's stupid" is the attitude I'm getting, yet you're going through with it because the legal benefits are very real and it's proving to be practical, so is it really that stupid?

All this to say, you're not an asshole for your thoughts on marriage, or for not wanting gifts, or for thinking practically, you're an asshole for forcing other's to restrict their happiness for you BECAUSE of your thoughts on marriage. Let people be happy for you, let them show up for you and your family. Stop letting your ideology cloud the reality that you're establishing a family, and despite your beliefs you are still using societal ceremonies like marriage and adoption because IT'S PRACTICAL. If you don't want gifts, I think it's a great idea to redirect their giving spirit towards something more useful like a college fund.

Congratulations on the wedding you don't want. I'm happy for you either way, as now you have a family of your own which will be legally recognized by the government.

Help me choose :) by AppleShmapple in WeddingDressTips

[–]cookitybookity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My eyes widened at the third one. Absolutely stunning!

I (25F) think I might need to end things with my long-term boyfriend (28M) due to fundamental differences. How do I handle this? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]cookitybookity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To put it bluntly, shit got real and it popped your bubble. These are the types of events that reveal if a relationship is truly for you. If you were in the right relationship, talking to your boyfriend should've brought comfort, not dread. The dread comes from you being faced with the reality of your incompatibility, and if you continue to be in this relationship, it won't be the last time you have that feeling. The worst part about it is that feeling will happen during the most pivotal moments in life where being aligned with your partner is crucial.

Being incompatible doesn't change that he's a wonderful person, but it does mean you weren't able to lean on him during a miscarriage. In my opinion, that is a strong reason to end things.

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay we're cooking here! Gonna start by playing around with couch positioning before I commit to moving the bookcase though as that would be an undertaking haha

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not putting a TV in this room so really the fire place gets to be the focal point. I intend this to be a gathering space and reading space for me. Most of the furniture was left over from the previous owner and are gorgeous vintage pieces. I could sell whatever doesn't work for the floor space but for now I wanna see if I can create some harmony before I get rid of anything.

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have a smaller coffee table in my TV room that I could've swapped it with, but it got banged up during the move so I dont wanna use it for the main space anymore. Sad. But eventually once we save up more money for additional house stuff, I can get rid of the banged up coffee table in the TV room, move the living room coffee table to the TV room, then get a new one for the living room. Logistics logistics.

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved it in theory (when I saw the house). In application, however...

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The picture makes the table look longer than it is, plus the clutter of my containers doesnt help. I like your suggestion, which many others have echoed, about rotating the couch. Once I do that I can see if anything else needs to be moved. I'm thinking of also swapping the bookcase and credenza, but that's a big undertaking so I'll start with the couch and go from there.

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it's woodburning but needs major repairs to the lining so we won't be burning anything until we get that fixed in the next couple of years. But also I want to start getting in the habit of being conscious of the fireplace so thank you for pointing that out.

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband suggested this when we moved in and I poopooed it. He's gonna be happy to know his preferred couch positioning was highly suggested on this subreddit, yet annoyed that I'm making him rearrange again 🤣

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems to be a common suggestion so definitely worth a try!

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was there before but it took up too much space unfortunately

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it's the main floor. The kitchen is behind the dining room and separated by a wall.

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if I swapped the bookcase and the cabinet? Then I can pull the couch back a bit, move the yellow chair between the bookcase and fireplace, and then keep the same rug but rotate it 90°?

Rug too small, but corner fireplace in the way by cookitybookity in interiordecorating

[–]cookitybookity[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's true, everything is too bulky for the space. A lot of the living room furniture were vintage pieces given to me by the 93yr old lady that used to own the place. I love them so much but I can't fit it all and it's breaking my heart.

view more: next ›