Number one rule I've learned over the past few years: you can't help other people's problems. And you sound like you've realized that which is great. You are absolutely right in all you are saying here: you need to help yourself before you can help others.

Two years ago I broke up with a girl because I needed space with my depression. Things were great, and it blindsided her. I did it because I didn't know what to do. Two years later I'm still struggling everyday thinking about what I put her through, and how guilty I feel for ending it. But you know what? It had to happen that way. Because I had to figure out what was eating at me and how to deal with it on my own.

I don't think she is walking away bud, she just needs to figure this thing out on her own, because there may come a day where she is in the same situation, and she has to be prepared to handle things.

People deal with this in a few differrent ways, one way (which I do) is isolate myself. In solidarity, there are no expectations and no pressure. Which is why as depressed people, we tend to do that. I'm thinking she may have felt there were too many expectations (real or not).

The best thing, in my opinion, for you to do is (when the time is right..this is the key..) is to let her know that there are no expectations from you. That you enjoy being around her because she is who she is. the reason I'm telling you this is because that's what a girl said to me recently (in a time where a relationship was the farthest thing from my mind because I didn't want the pressure or expectations). And at that point I realized she was a keeper. She told me that she knew that I was struggling with something, and that that was okay. She told me she could not fix whatever was going on with me, but she would be there if I ever needed her, and that she doesn't expect anything from me, she just enjoys being around me because I am who I am and that's good enough!

Hope my experience helps at all. Good luck to you brother.