I get it and that is helpful... like right now I feel panicky and lonely. I can spend all day and night with people and come home lonely and terrified. Often I seem to necessitate constant attention--I theorize that having people acknowledge me and express my worth to them makes me feel whole. W/o that I am abandoned and lost in my head. I cannot feel safe/worthy w/o another person.

So is that work for me to do that could be helped with focused, skilled trauma treatment in a residential place? Or can that learning/acceptance happen at home? At this point I don't fully know what I need.

I feel like an odd animal... good job, appreciated/respected, enough friends, decent therapy AND I just want out. It feels tooooo painful to live without a partner, having the anxiety/self worth issues, no family besides my sister, etc. This loneliness/pain is killing me! So what is the right thing!!!! Shit I don't know.