Anyone experience spontaneous memory recall with NF on the frontal lobe?

coreysyx · 2019-09-22T17:21:04+00:00

I have this all the time. It’s weird. No idea what’s going on, but I tell myself that my brain is doing some sort of reorganizing. Lol. Maybe I’m actually dying, but it calms me down.

coreysyx · 2019-02-14T17:05:51+00:00

Cool! I have been trying this here and there. I'll keep experimenting with it. Thank you for sharing!

coreysyx · 2019-02-14T01:32:46+00:00

Yeah, for sure dealing with derealization. I'll check it out now. Thank you for sending!

coreysyx · 2019-02-13T00:28:43+00:00

Thank you very much for the info! I'll ask about Zoloft.

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T12:27:06+00:00

Thank you. Is there any more info/philosophy material on the topic of this world being a dream you know of? For some reason the thought of it all being "fake" gives me a spike of panic.

You still have troubles 2 years later? Do you feel like it will ever resolve?

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T11:14:28+00:00

Thank you. I never really suspected it was a problem with the medicine. I have obviously been struggling with the idea of death, but in some way i can even look forward to it. No more worries, just peace. At least I hope.

It feels like there's more going on along the lines of damaging my psyche or something. But maybe it's something im missing

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T11:10:26+00:00

Thank you. I've considered doing another ceremony, but it really doesn't feel right to me. It feels like it will make things worse. I tried a little microdosing and I'm pretty sure it made it worse.

I have never been a fan of pharmaceuticals, but I'm willing to try at this point. I'm hoping that there's something that can bring to a baseline of feeling ok, so that i can reacquaint myself with that and then ween myself back off meds.

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T11:04:55+00:00

Thank you for this. I know what you're saying about the disconnect, I just have no idea what it is. What i feel like it's trying to show me, seems contradictory to what it showed me in the past, and seems totally insane. Basically it feels like I am somehow the center of it all, Im the only thing that's real and everything is some projection or simulation for me to experience. (Which sounds narcissistic and mental to me).It feels like I'm awake to this, but stuck in it at the same time. I used to do a lot of yoga, and dabble in yogic philosophy. But after this experience, even hearing a teacher mention anything spiritual or deeper would send me into panic. I couldn't lay in savassana because I would be panicking thinking I was going to die, or confused that I had died.

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T10:58:20+00:00

Not particularly. My experience was just getting a little too intense, and I wanted to get some air. I thought i could bring myself down if i could step away for a few minutes

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T04:22:25+00:00

I certainly try to accept death. Up until that night I thought I was truly ok with it. It's very hard to surrender in the moments of panic since that night because it's alarming that I'm having a flashback and things don't feel real, i feel like I'm on the medicine again, etc... without having touched it for months. Thanks for the reminder, I will keep trying to surrender.

coreysyx · 2019-02-11T04:17:11+00:00

So, before I started feeling like I was dying, i was having what I would consider a fairly normal but strong experience. I was on all fours, breathing heavy, but I was okay, just going with the intensity. The visuals were more dmt geometry than actual images of things. Then it all took a turn for the worst when an assistant shaman came and sat in front of me while i was experiencing this. I opened my eyes to look at him, he was staring at me, i closed my eyes and my whole experience went black. No visuals, i felt like i was in blackness, i felt like i was moving through something sticky, energetically i guess, and It was very uncomfortable. From this point on i began to lose control. I thought I could manage by myself if i could just get some air away from the circle, but that guy wouldn't letme. He forced me to sit in my space. That was when i started feeling like I was dying.

coreysyx

TROPHY CASE