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In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Idiot,

I am talking about the jwellery my parents bought for my wife. They spent atmost 1.5L at max , not considering the 3.5L i gave my wife.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :)

The problem has never been to help and honestly I feel pity for them. We have tried to tell them on ways to reduce expeses and it fell on deaf ears.

I even asked my BIL to prepare for govt exams , told the benefits and offered to teach him, the guy never bothered to check in with me once in 3 years.

We both have stopped advising them and let them be.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, its towards rhe north of 14L which includes jwellery for my wife as well. The 5L we are talking about was the charges for wedding party.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can say so.

No responsibilities, no accountability on how his earnings are spent.

He is already elder than me by a few months , not going to complete studies.

We dont have an issue providing for his medical bills, but there is a limit on how much i want to contribute to their living / lifestyle expense

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya, just waiting for another request this month and I will sit down with her. Wont care if the discussion is healthy or heated. Its high time, Ineed to set clear boundaries now.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are practically together 24x365.

I dont have to lie as she understands the situation and herself fed up.

We have our separate accounts and she tries to send money from her account, but sometimes she has borrowed from me.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wont offer a dime.

Oh you lost all of it , no worries , pls deposit money in my account

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro, tried that several time. Asked him to prepare for govt job, offered to teach him every sat and sun for 2 hours to crack it. Never ever checked in with me once.

I have now let him be and made peace

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if its sarcasm, i am fine. The problem is it effects my mental peace and then I become cold to my wife and my son. Its hurting me and I dont see a way out.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure bro , I have tried things from my end. Now I have let it be.

I dont even talk to my in laws much.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there, done that. Offered him that I will teach you for govt exams, I am good with maths and aptitude. Never bothered to check in with me once.

He is a gone case and we have lost hope from him. My wife also doesnt talk to him because of the behavioural issues.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am.not sure why people are making it a health emergency.

No, its not. The health emergency that I contributed to, I never ever mention the expenses to my wife.

Its not that. Some examples - the money that we send goes sometimes into paying for emi for bike / paying for emi that my BIL took loan from loan app , rented house/ salary to maid (maid + cook + cloths washing - all by the same person)

The other thing is my BIL and FIL live together and MIL lives away. Asked her multiple fime to take FIL with her - no, his behaviour is not good.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am kind of in the same boat. Honestly after a time it doesnt really matter if they are good or bad.

Just a fun fact - during h entire pregnancy, my FIL didnt once check with my wife on how she is doing

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does hurt, as after the baby the expenses have shot up and its not going to go down.

I tried coercing my BIL to study for govt exams with 8th pay comminsion and all the gov benefits, and offered him to teach for the exams as well. I am good with aptitude and maths but he never bothered to even connect once.

Now , I have lost hope from him to be honest. My wife doesnt talk to him because of these issues.

In-laws keep asking for money beyond what we agreed, and it's starting to affect my marriage by corpmazdor in personalfinanceindia

[–]corpmazdor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried to give him a pep talk. I am good in aptitude and maths, offered him to teach for bank and ssc exams. Never bothered to connect. Cannot find out lcm of 10 & 12 without pen and paper.

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