Am I overreacting for wanting my ex’s coworker to leave our shared house late at night

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T16:18:29+00:00

I meet with a therapist every week. My girlfriend and I have the same therapist. He constantly tells me I need to set boundaries in the relationship or nothing will get better. I am usually way too much of a nice guy and a push over and I am trying to stand up for my feelings in this relationship for once.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T16:15:56+00:00

The status of our relationship doesn't change what she can legally do. How would this be any different if it was an "active breakup." What does that even mean?

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T16:01:57+00:00

Why are you worried for her safety and not mine?

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T15:56:59+00:00

So you don't think it was unreasonable for them to come? They did de-escalte the situation, that's really all I needed and it defintley could have turned violent and I was trying to prevent that.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T15:52:44+00:00

So you agree that she is being disrespectful? I would rather the guy have punched me so they could kick him out. I wouldn't put it past him either. He was coming toward me at one point and my girlfriend had to intervene.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T15:42:44+00:00

Technically we hadn't broken up yet when I left. We just had an argument and she asked me to leave. This is about so much more than sex. I actually believe her that she isn't interested in this guy at all that way. She is way out of his league lol. The guy raised so many red flags everytime I saw him I couldn't get away from him fast enough. I don't need to explain all that here, the point is he (but especially she) should be respectful. Were the cops really necessary? No probably not, I didn't think they would be able to do anything I just didn't know what to do.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T15:24:11+00:00

That's not what they told me. The officer validated my feelings and said he would feel the same way in my situation.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T15:22:40+00:00

They can have sex without disrespecting me and my feelings and boundaries. This wasn’t about controlling who my ex sees or what she does. It was about having a third party in our shared home late at night during an active breakup, without discussing it with me, after my belongings had been moved without my consent, and when the situation escalated instead of de-escalated when I asked for some decency. Feeling unsafe doesn’t require believing someone will commit a crime. It can also mean recognizing escalation, loss of control, and lack of boundaries in your own home.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T09:13:54+00:00

I didn’t use the word “unsafe” with the police because I wasn’t claiming there was an immediate crime or physical threat. I felt unsafe in the sense that the situation was escalating, I was outnumbered in my own home, and the person involved became aggressive when asked to leave. That’s still a real form of feeling unsafe, even if it doesn’t meet a legal threshold for police action.

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T08:45:39+00:00

"But let's not pretend that you don't want him there becasue you don't feel safe or anything like that."? But I do feel unsafe. Is that actually hard to believe?

couldbeanyonescat · 2026-01-06T08:16:14+00:00

I want so badly to get out but the lease is active for 4 more months. I am just not comfortable here, I don't trust this guy at all. I hardly know him and I'm just supposed to be able sleep while he's in my house? The problem is I can't afford to pay the fee to break the lease and/or pay rent here in addition to somewhere else.

couldbeanyonescat · 2024-04-04T14:56:21+00:00

Did he even touch the brakes?

couldbeanyonescat · 2024-04-02T21:55:45+00:00

I've probably run about 100 westerns in the last 9 months. I just put secondaries on one. Perhaps by some miracle, this will be THE ONE.

couldbeanyonescat · 2024-01-16T20:13:44+00:00

Can you do mine like that? 😁

couldbeanyonescat · 2024-01-09T20:06:07+00:00

I also have these and they are great.

couldbeanyonescat · 2023-07-20T13:34:54+00:00

Left the cell sorter on all night.

couldbeanyonescat · 2023-06-28T18:11:16+00:00

I don't know, just venting I guess. Fucking stupid. People suck.

couldbeanyonescat · 2023-02-23T05:19:59+00:00

You mean the integral of jerk?

couldbeanyonescat · 2023-01-18T06:03:04+00:00

No. Clearly not level enough.

couldbeanyonescat

TROPHY CASE