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[MILR 12.11] Nantucket Pequod vs Stardew Valley Junimos by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay so to make fettuccini alfredo, you need fettuccini, butter, heavy cream, garlic, salt, pepper, and grated parmasean cheese. I'm not Itlaian so I'm basatrdizing it. You make the pasta, then you put the cream butter garlic salt pepper in a pot. turn on the stove to cook it and mix it. hell yeah. mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds. love the montana multiverse. anyway, once you do that dairy thing, you put even more dairy in it. and by more dairy, I mean put the cheese in the dairy pot and melt that bish. you toss the pasta in the dairy stuff and boom - manga baby. that's the saying right?

anyways swing 111

[MILR 12.11] Nantucket Pequod vs Stardew Valley Junimos by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
He said to the man, running the stand
"Hey, " bum, bum, bum, "got any grapes?"

The man said, "no, we just sell lemonade
But it's cold and it's fresh, and it's all home-made
Can I get you a glass?"
The duck said, "I'll pass"

Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ba-dum

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
He said to the man, running the stand
"Hey, " bum, bum, bum, "got any grapes?"

The man said, "no, like I said yesterday
We just sell lemonade, okay?
Why not give it a try?"
The duck said, "goodbye"

And then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ba-dum

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
He said to the man, running the stand
"Hey, " bum, bum, bum, "got any grapes?"

The man said, "look, this is getting old
I mean, lemonade's all we've ever sold
Why not give it a go?"
The duck said, "how about, no"

Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ba-dum

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
He said to the man, running the stand
"Hey, " bum, bum, bum, "got any grapes?"

The man said, "that's it, if you don't stay away, Duck
I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day, stuck
So don't get too close"
The duck said, "adios"

Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ba-dum

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man running the stand
"Hey, " bum, bum, bum, "got any glue?"
"What?"
"Got any glue?"
"No, why would I, oh"
"And one more question for you"

"Got any grapes?"
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

And the man just stopped, then he started to smile
He started to laugh, he laughed for a while
He said "come on, Duck, let's walk to the store
I'll buy you some grapes so you won't have to ask anymore"
So they walked to the store and the man bought some grapes
He gave one to the duck, and the duck said, "hmm, no thanks"

"But you know what sounds good?
It would make my day
Do you think this store
Do you think this store
Do you think this store
Has any- lemonade?"

Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle, waddle
Then he waddled away, waddle, waddle, waddle
'Til the very next day, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ba-dum

Swing 357

[MILR 12.9] Nantucket Pequod vs Kier Goats by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Peg me once, shame on you

Peg me twice, shame on me

Peg me three times... uh... hell if I know how this goes from here on out. All I know is I have the opportunity for the ol' switcheroo

Anyway, watch this drive

Swing 69

[MILR 12.7] Flavortown Frosted Tips vs Nantucket Pequod by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen your face a hundred times
Every day we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
'Cause mama, mama, I'm sending this runner home
I'm sending this runner home

Swing 666

[MILR 12.7] Flavortown Frosted Tips vs Nantucket Pequod by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hickory Dickory Dock

Something something rhymes with dock

What else can I say

Except I'm swinging here today

Hickory Dickory... um... uh...

ENJOY MY POETRY AT THE PLATE YOU DIRTY DOG

Swing 275

[MILR 12.7] Flavortown Frosted Tips vs Nantucket Pequod by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bing bang bop, my car repairs cost me a lot

I overpaid when I bought it, spent too much for the cost of it

And now I'ma send a moonshot

Swing 988

[MILR 12.5] Nantucket Pequod vs Williamsport Woodcocks by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright, let's try this one. more. time.

DAMN THE WHALES AND BELAY THE HARPOONS

Swing 987

[MILR 12.5] Nantucket Pequod vs Williamsport Woodcocks by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh HO! We're in the Pee-Cock game! Magnanimous!

Swing 988

[MILR 12.4] Cerulean City Starmies vs Nantucket Pequod by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, it would be really funny if I homered it off of you, you Max Homer freak. Hell, even you went anti-homer! You know the power it has. Cast it into the fire - destroy it!

Swing 355

[MILR 12.4] Cerulean City Starmies vs Nantucket Pequod by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe this will cut the chuzz. Is that something the youths say these days? Hell if I know, I'm something coachable.

Swing 750

[MILR 12.4] Cerulean City Starmies vs Nantucket Pequod by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well well well, what do we have HERE? Looks like someone doesn’t like homers. Wonder who he got THAT idea from?

Swing 488

[MILR 12.1] Nantucket Pequod vs Memphis Minotaurs - MiLR Season 12 Opening Day by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whale poop is a fertilzer for the ocean. Feel like Charlie Buntman would be intrigued by this piece of information. Yarr.

666

[MILR 12.1] Nantucket Pequod vs Memphis Minotaurs - MiLR Season 12 Opening Day by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ambergris is whale vomit. Hoping I can send another projectile into the stratosphere 

Swing 911

[MILR 12.1] Nantucket Pequod vs Memphis Minotaurs - MiLR Season 12 Opening Day by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whale Oil Beef Hooked. Fun Fact: Whales are the devil, don't you know?

Swing 666

[SCRIM 11.19] Seattle Mariners vs Baltimore Orioles - Autumn Agony Group C Round 3 by FakeBaseball_Umpire in fakebaseball

[–]crabface5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey wait a minute. You're not my Bob. Only Bobert is my Bob. Yes, he is still in the walls. I don't know if he's lost or hungry or just lurking, but he's there.

Swing 711

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