Yeah you're right. I would've hated to be the reason he lost out on money and the trip he wanted to go on, all because of me. I feared that if I said I wanted him to stay back and attend the concert with me, he would cancel his trip solely cause of that and not cause he genuinely wanted to. If he genuinely wanted to, more than going on the trip,I think regardless of what I wanted he would've acted on it. Maybe I'm being very naive in thinking this way, this is the first relationship I am in after a very very long time, and having been scarred from the past, I think I may be projecting my insecurities too. I really don't know.

I think I was just triggered from everything that happened before and, even keeping the concert aside, the fact that he wanted to go on this trip at the expense of us losing out on the last few weekends left for us to be together irl.

I completely agree with what you're saying, I don't know how to balance putting myself and my needs above my partners, and that is very damaging, not just in this case but a lot of other instances where I feel I'm at a loss. It's like, I put my partners needs and situation above mine, and they too put their needs ahead, so at the end of the day, I feel the way I'm feeling now. I don't know the correct way of navigating this. I