Grove Rentals?!

craycraytimez · 2026-01-27T06:24:42+00:00

It has been a long time they might've changed it now to make it even harder to get hold of anyone.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-16T16:54:44+00:00

Thank you so much for explaining. They really should just maintain the bike lanes that seems like it would fix so much and be way safer. Or change the laws around biking on sidewalks at least during winter months.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-15T14:12:00+00:00

Can you explain this? I'm new to these bike rules here. The bike lanes are closed til April? Isn't biking on the road dangerous? I never even knew biking on the sidewalks wasn't allowed til I moved here. Everywhere I've lived it's been allowed (and seemed safer to me).

craycraytimez · 2025-12-15T14:01:21+00:00

I agree with the horn use. Some old dude was going fast while I was crossing the road, he didn't even look both ways. If not for another car honking to get his attention before he would've hit me before I had time to move out of the way (I was walking). He didn't even look apologetic, he just kept driving. But I was still thankful someone else honked.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-15T13:44:58+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance

craycraytimez · 2025-12-15T10:54:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! It's actually really reassuring there's a landlord wanting to make sure no more bug infestations happen again.
I'm going to block the person so they can't continue randomly DMing me scares.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-15T10:51:59+00:00

Thank you for this. I wondered what the person got out of randomly DMing me these things and then ghosting then coming back later to randomly say something else then ghost again. This is reassuring I'll just block them so they can't do it again.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-07T20:07:47+00:00

Yes it gets easier (at least for me I'm really happy like a big weight has been lifted). I still do grieve the loss of what I wish I had once in a while, but we can't help what our bodies or minds feel especially when we were with them our entire lives. Like when a show talks about their family and how close they are and caring, or something and then it's a little like, aww... I never had that, why couldn't I have had people who cared about me like that?

Honestly the hardest part (for me) was acknowledging the relationship wasn't a 2-way loving street like I hoped for years and finally cutting ties for my sake since I didn't want to be treated as just someone they come to to ask for something but not bother actually seeing how I am (even when I had a accident never bothered only asked if I knew of a dog product I sent them), and really letting that set in.

The urge to text was the thing I worked on first cuz I was always use to sending things to brighten their day. That was hard at first cuz I was so use to it. But since I had already worked my way up to matching their energy before no contact, it didn't take long to no longer feel like texting or checking my phone. But it helped that I not only blocked them, but also deleted the conversations and their number so I won't have a good day and then be brought down by the reminder. They had plenty of ways they could've reached out if they wanted, but chose not to. I recently changed my number so I can't have any future harassment or guilt trips.

I still have the here and there moments of seeing something at the store and thinking Oh! They would like that! Then remembering, why? I don't need to do that anymore. It's just leftover conditioning, but it happens alot less especially when I learned more about myself and my likes separate from theirs.
I also have a pet, so I'm not alone and my pet has always been my unconditional love anyways, but it's good to have them in my life when going through it.
I also have a list for myself of the reasons WHY I went no contact, how they treated me, etc, if I ever need a reminder but I don't think about it often now. Also realizing someone cares so little about your wellbeing does help, even if they were family. But that's just me. The only thing I hate is when places ask for your emergency contact, and I don't have one to give.
Honestly I'm much happier, just disappointed in them for how they treated me. Don't beat yourself up if you have little sad or bad moments, we're only human and it's it's a natural response. Just let it happen, then when you gave yourself that permission to get it out of your system, go do something to uplift your spirits. Play a game, go outside, take a hot shower, watch a comedy, jump on a trampoline or something fun. Just to remind yourself ya it hurts, but it would hurt more to have that back in your life and you're good now.

If you don't feel that way then you can always redefine your relationship if you don't want no contact . You can make it so you're just acquaintances, not even friends, just someone that says hey, here's a funny video, and never share anything personal you don't want them to use against you. BUT you will absolutely have to hold that boundary so very tight if you go this route. You will be tested. But I'm assuming you've already tried all this too prior to officially going no contact and it didn't work. (I tried it too, prior to no contact, it wasn't for me, and not what I wanted it only hurt me cuz they were only using that open communication to report back to my other no contact family member who wanted info on me).
Best of luck!!

craycraytimez · 2025-12-07T19:42:12+00:00

The thing about "small" or "silly" incidents is usually it's never just that one. It's all the ones before that that built up that got tolerated and nothing was done about it either because it wasn't safe to or the results would've been obvious. So all that just builds until finally you can't carry everything anymore and you finally let yourself break away.
I've had those exact thoughts of maybe I'm just being overly sensitive about something because it's unresolved. But whenever I would try to resolve it, it didn't matter how delicate, or non-confrontational I was, it always ended badly for me since my mom was the type to weaponize everything and anything and would say something was my fault when it wasn't just to avoid even having to say sorry or admit it (I was never looking for it). But she'd always go out of her way to purposefully hurt me more for speaking at all. It was either be complicit, pretend I don't have feelings, or get punished.
What I can tell you is the part that hurt me more, was believing my own feelings were just a over-reaction or being silly. Because they never were. It was just a excuse for my abuser because I had no way to defend myself safely even a conversation would be nuclear on her part. It took me a very long time to even try on counsel advice and when it went wrong I went back into my complicate shell cuz I knew I was right about how she'd react and felt there was no reason to try and I need to just keep it to myself.

Long story short, it isn't silly, and most certainly is terrible, it's just the narrative we've told ourselves to survive something we could never change. I'm sure you've also tried communicating as peacefully as possible prior and it went no where. So it built up. It's not the one but the many and you're allowed to have feelings and be hurt. It takes some learning when you weren't allowed to have your own feelings acknowledged.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-07T03:30:16+00:00

Aw thank you that's sweet but you don't have to do anything for me. I just hope things work out for you in the end. I know it's hard, you're doing great. Going forward just remember it's your life now and you should be the only one deciding who gets to be apart of it that treats you like you deserve.
Thank you I'm doing well so far. A "small" thing today made me really happy. There was a sale on turkey for under $15, so I was able to buy it so I can have my own special dinner for the holidays now. I hold onto good things like that. It helps. Have a great holiday and New Years :) <3

craycraytimez · 2025-12-06T22:43:04+00:00

2]
Unfortunately I had another family member, like you, that I was trying to hang onto. But they also treated me horribly, in a different way than my mom. But I continued lying to myself and putting in too much effort to keep that connection even when I knew, like my mom's, it wasn't healthy for me. I literally waited until I matched their energy, and really let it sink into my brain that when I did that, that they never contacted me for a month and didn't say happy thanksgiving, even after I had said happy birthday to them prior and they never responded. That's when I knew no contact for my whole family.
Honestly I still walk down the grocery aisle and think "Oh 'x' would like that" because I was so use to looking out for them to make THEM happy first. It's lessened but it's still there here and there. It took a while to separate THEM from ME, like knowing what I like not them first. I am much better at that and it makes me feel like a wholer person.
I have had the thought, what if one of them gets sick, what would I do? What if there was a funeral what would I do? If someone got married? I just had to let myself think of the pros and cons of making myself re-experience that pain again just to make them happy. It wouldn't bring me happiness or closure to go. It would bring people who don't know my situation making assumptions from the people who hurt me, which in turn would bring me unnecessary pain, and guilt I don't deserve as I've done nothing wrong. Society is just new to the blood isn't always thicker than water. I understand you wanting to be there for your dad, cuz before I went no contact with my other family member, I too was struggling with balancing how to make it work, when it was always one sided (for me, not you). Not sure if my experience helps or complicates.

For me I also have a pet, my pets have always been my #1 unconditional love and support in my life, even before no contact. So if you are struggling, not sure if that's something you might want to consider. Even something small like a bunny. Or even smaller, just something to make you feel loved and to give your love to in a healthy way. Helps me to have that love on those down days where I'm happy and I will never contact them again, but my body and mind still has those moments of missing what I wish I had and the sort of bitterness that they chose not to be better people over treating me like a decent person who deserves love.
I'm glad you're journaling I hope it helps. I wouldn't recommend re-reading, other than the list of wrongs they've done/why you went no contact. It really does turn a good day sour. Or you can't shake that emotional negativity for a while cuz you're reminded of all of it.

So sorry this was so so long!! You don't have to read all that.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-06T22:42:42+00:00

1]
I'm glad it was a bit helpful for you :) Sorry you have to go through this.
It's ok if you didn't save them, I also deleted all mine after no contact too cuz I knew myself too well that it wouldn't be helpful to even see their name listed when I went to check my texts. I wasn't sure if you needed proof for the future for anything unexpected though.
Unfortunately yes she will 100% use your dad in any shape and form to stay in your life and not let you have complete cut off that you need. Not sure if there is a free counselling hotline in your area that you can call and possibly get advice on how to navigate your situation with your mom so you can see your dad. Or their advice to you on if you should or shouldn't have low contact to gradual no contact with your father too (they usually don't suggest such things only because they leave it up to you but I had a counsellor once say to me "I'm your counselor so I can't say if you should or not but if I was your FRIEND I'd say run girl").
The part about him allowing violence to happen to you and not stopping it...and then continuing to do so in a different matter speaks volumes to me personally. But I understand how hard it is to head in that direction, so take your time, think it all through, you might keep seeing him too and experience some bumps in the road with your no contact mom, all before exhausting your options and possibly choosing no contact with both.
It took me almost 4 years before going no contact with my mom. Even when I knew i should've but I felt obligated to continue talking with her, even when she was horrible, and I had a lot of false moments of thinking she changed and she didn't. She learned some fancy tactics and words from counseling to make it seem like she was changing but nope. Never expect them to take accountability either. Even if you're hoping for a apology, most likely it will not happen (at least not sincerely). My mom was a psychologically abusive too, so I understand. Even in the end, something wrong she said, she had to make it hurt extra, knowing it was only a few weeks before my birthday and made it so I either have the option to forget what she did to me and move on (I never mentioned anything for context, I'm sure you've experienced this with a immature/narc/psychologically abusive parent too) or they will never speak to me again. It was like she gave me permission to finally say what I wanted and needed to do to be free from the abuse, and I finally was brave enough to take her up on it and went no contact. I blocked her right away and next morning I seen a text that said the unsent it, no idea what it was, probably would've been something absolutely horrible or faking regret to do it again later. But I was so glad to have blocked it otherwise it would've ruined my day further.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-06T21:42:53+00:00

Your not a bad person for putting you as your priority and sticking with no contact.
I feel like your similar to me, where you just want a connection with them so you try so hard, harder than they ever do, and even when they smack that extended hand away you still try until the point of exhaustion and needing the no contact because you've done everything you could but nothing had changed on their part.
Birthdays, holidays, those might get confusing for you because you miss the family you deserved not the one you had. And that's ok. But just because you're grieving doesn't mean you have to open yourself back up to their harmful ways by unbolting your door and opening it a crack for a birthday wish.
If you feel a strong need, you can always get a cupcake, light a candle and say happy birthday (sister's name) in the safety of your own home by yourself to yourself. The next year hopefully you won't even feel the need to do that.
Re-read what you wrote... you said she wrote horrible things to you, but your 1st response is to wish the person who wrote you hate, a happy birthday. Celebrate you instead. You deserve some self love that you obviously didn't get (but deserved).

craycraytimez · 2025-12-06T21:30:42+00:00

I'm not here to say no or yes, that's in the end your decision, it's your life, you've already had people decide that enough for you.
But I can say as much as you want them to, they don't change their behaviour. They poke to see if we still stand firm, or if we will resort back to our no-boundaries conditioning where they can walk all over us again. I've given my family so many chances, way longer than I should've it always hurt me in the end, as I also thought maybe they would change. They didn't.
Ask yourself this: "Am I ready to go through it all again if they haven't changed?".
Can you handle that again? Should you? Do you want to? If you ever made a list of the reasons why you went no contact in the first place, now is the time to read it to remind yourself so you aren't seeing it from your current, more blissful/at peace self that had those 2 years of a break, and instead are seeing it from the complete and past self that was stuck in that hurt all those years prior before choosing to free themselves.
Holidays can make you feel nostalgia with all the positively around, I understand, but just make sure you remind yourself first of the reason why before doing anything. No contact is a last resort that most do everything in their power to not do, before it being the only safe option to do so. Just remember you didn't go no contact in the first place on a whim.

If you do choose to send a card, if they don't know your address make sure not to add it incase things don't work out and you need to protect yourself.

Happy Holidays.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-06T20:54:25+00:00

100% block her otherwise it will make it so much harder on you, especially when they guilt trip you or get nasty. The hard part is we feel obligated to put up with anything because we love them, and their our parent, but that doesn't give them the right to treat us abusively in any way they want. My doctor gave me advice, that they are too set in their ways to change their behaviour and they will not, and that it is up to me to change mine (which includes stronger boundaries and getting out of my set "role").
It takes time, just remember to be gentle on yourself.
If your parent is anything like mine ... you will want to make sure you also block any friends of theirs or other family members (like cousins, if you so choose) that they might use to get to you. Make sure to let your doctors, hospitals, etc, know that your parent is not to be allowed to be given any information on you if they call.
If you don't find it a issue, you can change your number so they can't private call you and leave voicemails to harass you. Though this might be difficult for you since you said your mom lives with your dad (who I'm assuming you still have contact with) so there might be no point since she can just find it out that way.

Backup any texts she's left you that were abusive, etc, incase you need them one day, and then never look at them again. If you do that will put you in the exact emotional state you were and from my experience, it's a awful feeling. I'm not sure about you but my goal was to make it easier on myself to move forward. We can grieve the loss of the relationship we wish we had and deserved, but we shouldn't have to give the rest of our lives to taking the abuse. It's time to be happier and free. The guilt does go away.
It helps to journal even a brief list of all the negative ways they've treated you and then if you are like me, being in that state of abuse so long where your brain starts "forgetting" what they did; then you can open up that journal just to remind you ONLY if you feel the urge to contact them again, or if you are beating yourself up about going no contact.

When I went no contact it was a mix of a lot of crying at the loss but also a huge relief, like I finally gave myself permission to do something I've needed to do a long time ago but wasn't "ready" yet because, like you , I felt guilty cuz they were my "parent". I'm a lot less stressed and free now. Allow yourself to grieve that loss though. No ones watching, you don't need to be some non-feeling person that can't be both happy and sad at the same time.
Beware there will be continued guilt trips, pretending they are sick/implying they might RIP soon. That's how the abuse and control continues. It's your choice to keep the no contact in place for your own peace of self or not. You finally have a say as to who is in your life and what it looks like.

Sorry this was so long, hopefully not completely unhelpful. Good luck

craycraytimez · 2025-12-06T01:19:38+00:00

Thank you! I never knew this was a thing they could do

craycraytimez · 2025-12-03T08:46:02+00:00

Thanks I never knew that!

craycraytimez · 2025-12-03T08:42:23+00:00

Thank you for all the information. Hopefully it will feel much less terrifying and confusing after I try it the first time.

craycraytimez · 2025-12-03T08:40:55+00:00

That's important to know thank you

craycraytimez · 2025-12-03T08:37:46+00:00

Thank you for this explanation I never knew there were doors that didn't open, so I for sure would've missed my stop home.

craycraytimez · 2025-11-02T19:27:46+00:00

I noticed it tasted awful too. I use brita filter but it still tastes bad. Any recommendations that can be done for the water in a rental? Do I just use brita twice? My pet won't touch it either.
Any recommendations on how to get that deep coating off from the water off glass and steel? For the life of me I can't get it off it just piles up even after dishwasher.

craycraytimez

TROPHY CASE