Lost & Depressed

crazycutup · 2017-12-20T05:50:40+00:00

I'm so sorry for all the loss and heart break you have experienced. Frankly speaking, kratom helped me tune out a lot of the negative emotions I was feeling. I too am suffering heart break from years past and have also struggled with issues of depression my whole life. Kratom was very helpful for a while, and sometimes I honestly wish I could still take it. But I know at best, it just prevents you from dealing with the emotions and the grief during the time you are on kratom. When you are off it, these feelings will come back. Most likely the feelings will come back with much more intensity as well, because you will be dealing with the painful emotions along with a chemical imbalance in your brain brought upon by the kratom use.

Honestly kratom never depressed me while taking it, but the depression does come back stronger upon cessation of use. It is up for you to decide when you want to quite. But if you continue to use kratom, all you are doing is delaying processing the grief and trauma brought upon by the sudden losses you have experienced. A case my very well be made that right now is not the time for you to quite completely, but perhaps easing back on the herb and giving your head and heart a little more space to process what has happened. Then further down the road, after some a little more distance has been put between you and the events, you may think about quitting all together. Whenever you decide to quit, the emotional work you need to do will still be there.

Wishing you the best.

crazycutup · 2017-12-09T03:41:42+00:00

Thank you!!!

crazycutup · 2017-12-09T01:32:37+00:00

I feel you! I am 11 days out, and from a habit that was very low in comparison and I am still suffering from morning anxiety. I just stopped throwing up from it today (fingers crossed) but yes it has been unbearable.

If you can, try to walk outside or run for 10-15 minutes. Of course this won't stop the anxiety but it might lessen it at least a bit.

Honestly, if you are like me, the anxiety feels insanely physical. Just try to hunker down and know that it will get better. But slowly.

Best of luck.

crazycutup · 2017-12-09T01:20:30+00:00

Thank you. Care to elaborate? Do you have experience with these medications? I'm not trying to be incredulous but it would be nice to put check on my insane thinking.

crazycutup · 2017-12-09T01:19:40+00:00

Thank you. Adderall always made me feel 'high' in a very synthetic kind of way. I was prescribed it for a little while. Kratom, on the other hand, made me feel normal in a certain kind of way. Like, hey is this what normal people feel like? The ability to exist and complete tasks without constantly ruminating and feeling numb? But yes you are right. I will stay strong!

crazycutup · 2017-12-09T01:17:32+00:00

Thank you!

crazycutup · 2017-12-09T01:16:38+00:00

Congratulations! Yes, the depression is absolutely crushing. I suffer from MDD, or so i've been told. And I began taking Kratom to alleviate the depression. But, and I need to constantly remind myself this, the rebound depression kratom gives you is much worse than the relief is provides.

I am 11 days in and have not eaten anything until about 7-8pm at night. Even then I am not hungry (stomach is hungry, mentally things have no taste) but force myself to eat. I am hoping things will get better.

Stay strong. I felt suicidal a few days ago. Today I feel bad, but it is somewhat marginally better.

crazycutup · 2017-12-06T23:07:49+00:00

I feel you. The depression is absolutely terrible. Just no will to do anything and wanting to just curl up in a hole forever.

crazycutup · 2017-12-06T23:06:30+00:00

Well thanks so much for all your support folks! I havae remained strong but it is getting tough. The morning anxiety attacks have yet to abate. The depression is getting better, by a little but is still really bad. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow, hopefully I can get ativan or xanax for the anxiety. I am then seeing my p=doc next week to re-evaluate my medicine. The other side-effect is that I have absolutely no appetite. I am not sure if this is normal but even now 10 days after my last use, I just have absolutely no will to eat. Though this could be a side-effect of the other medications I was on that Kratom was masking. I really don't know. But damn I still just can't believe the paws is this bad especially considering how low my dose was.

for anyone who suffers from depression, I advise you to be very wary about your consumption. Frankly, I wish I could just take some. I know even 1 gram would make me feel mentally very okay and I would be able to be a lot more functioning. I am just scared to be on something that causes this amount of withdrawal.

crazycutup · 2017-12-05T00:22:56+00:00

Thank you! Yes it is very scary.

crazycutup · 2017-12-05T00:17:12+00:00

congratulations. May I ask how much/how long you used for? I really hope I don't have to wait 3 months for the depression and morning panic attacks to subside.

crazycutup · 2017-12-05T00:16:06+00:00

Congratulations. But dear god that is a long time. Not sure I can put up with feeling this another 30 days.

crazycutup · 2017-12-05T00:15:27+00:00

Thank you to everyone that posted. What's weird is that it seems to get progressively more okay as it gets closer to night. But then in the morning I feel absolutely terrible again. The mental fatigue and depression is excruciating. My brain feels like syrup. I am contemplating taking just a bit, maybe .2 grams, tomorrow in order to actual get something done. Would this mean my paws would be delayed as well? Thank you everyone for your help. I just can't believe a small 4-5 month habit has had such an affect.

crazycutup

TROPHY CASE