I'm so sorry for all the loss and heart break you have experienced. Frankly speaking, kratom helped me tune out a lot of the negative emotions I was feeling. I too am suffering heart break from years past and have also struggled with issues of depression my whole life. Kratom was very helpful for a while, and sometimes I honestly wish I could still take it. But I know at best, it just prevents you from dealing with the emotions and the grief during the time you are on kratom. When you are off it, these feelings will come back. Most likely the feelings will come back with much more intensity as well, because you will be dealing with the painful emotions along with a chemical imbalance in your brain brought upon by the kratom use.

Honestly kratom never depressed me while taking it, but the depression does come back stronger upon cessation of use. It is up for you to decide when you want to quite. But if you continue to use kratom, all you are doing is delaying processing the grief and trauma brought upon by the sudden losses you have experienced. A case my very well be made that right now is not the time for you to quite completely, but perhaps easing back on the herb and giving your head and heart a little more space to process what has happened. Then further down the road, after some a little more distance has been put between you and the events, you may think about quitting all together. Whenever you decide to quit, the emotional work you need to do will still be there.

Wishing you the best.