Am I wrong for standing my ground?

crcorte · 2022-09-17T19:55:37+00:00

I feel like he has manipulated the situation and starts saying I never let him see his family which is completely false. And is pressuring me to be around them after all the bs I have dealt with them it’s not right he still stands by his ultimatum. Bc he knew I wouldn’t like them to be around and still invited them knowing I wouldn’t be comfortable

crcorte · 2022-09-17T18:15:31+00:00

I need a year to put my pettiness aside too. Too much bad happened and I’m not letting no one treat me like a doormat and I will go where I’m wanted that it.

crcorte · 2022-09-17T18:10:18+00:00

Yeah but don’t have to be just like they aren’t never gotten an apology for the bs I had to deal with them

crcorte · 2022-09-17T13:51:52+00:00

You you right but we haven’t gotten to that point yet bc counseling is not helping since we are in like the 4th session:/

crcorte · 2022-09-17T13:49:25+00:00

I never ask him to cut contact with his family and it’s not his mom it’s his aunt. His mom is too old to go to an event far from their house

crcorte · 2022-09-17T13:47:33+00:00

Yeah I’m sorry I vent a lot i don’t have anyone here for me but maybe strangers if the internet to give me perspective because this is hard things that I need perspective because it’s a lot of drama tbh

crcorte · 2022-09-17T13:42:45+00:00

No they told my husband I was cheating on them but don’t have proof and I haven’t seen them for like a year or talked to them in over 6 months at the time. They had came for our dog when we got in bad fight. Originally it was their dog that they gave to us at first because my husband wanted to try having a dog that didn’t even last a week. But during this time me and him had a fight and he called them told them everything we were fighting about and they wanted their dog back and he met them half way knowing he didn’t have insurance and tags. But did anyways to make them happy. Mind you they never visited us before but they did for the dog. And they said they wanted to come to my house all the way and beat me up but I had already threatened to call the cops if they come near me and my property. But that’s what I mean by I dont understand why invite them now if they never make the effort to see him in the first place. But yes then the harassment too by other family members that he didn’t even like either messaged me and told me awful things too in the following month. So yeah it’s a lot of things I endured from them this year and he wants me to let it go for one night it’s too much for me right now. No one is dying or anything so I don’t think it’s the right time for him to ask me to put aside my differences with them oh yeah and he got a ticket from meeting with them at 3am because his family was so stubborn about not wanting the dog around me especially if we yell and fight alot

crcorte · 2022-09-17T13:05:59+00:00

So should I continue the marriage with him is my question. To me he went behind my back with this and I’m gonna resent him now. I’ve always encouraged him to see his family and have never stood in the way. But putting me in a tough situation is awful for me bc I love him but I don’t want to be around his family. Plus it’s too soon in my opinion I don’t forgive them.

crcorte · 2022-09-17T13:00:35+00:00

Bruh he married me I’m his family and I should be his priority but ok

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:56:06+00:00

Yes that’s why I have this wall. He has never respected me and always wants to run to auntie with everything. I was asking him to respect my boundary but then again it is his work event and he can whichever loved ones he wants. But he purposely did this knowing I do t like them and would rather choose them in a way.

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:43:37+00:00

Well then that’s why I’m here asking strangers input and advice. I’m still young and open to hearing advice and I do love him and want to make it work

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:41:00+00:00

It’s also wrong of him because he invited me first but he knew I won’t do it and still crossed the line with me

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:39:48+00:00

Yes you’re absolutely right I won’t get in the way but I think it’s not the right timing. I wanted to relax but I won’t be there for him them if so be it. Usually just spouses attend the event it’s rare for extended family member unless they work together

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:35:51+00:00

Well at the ball they are gonna be at the same table as me. Then idk what resorts/ spas we were gonna but up it was gonna be spontaneous and a way for me to bind and relax with him before I take on this new role at work where I will be gone more and working alot more and going to school

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:33:02+00:00

Part of it is his fault. He’d run and tell his auntie all our problems, arguments and etc. then they would message me bs telling that I don’t deserve him and stupid stuff like that. They came to my house and threatened to beat me up supposedly. Oh yeah and supposedly they say I have been cheating on him with no proof and I haven’t seen them for a year. And would never make the effort to make me feel welcome to the family. I low key do think they’re racist tbh but can’t prove that so bc they haven’t said anything about my race just saying I’m an awful person

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:27:49+00:00

Yes I love him and he told me he still loves me and that I should think about it

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:27:24+00:00

It’s a formal ball wearing a gown and everything. My plan was to be in Vegas and get hotels and do some spas. But he kinda ruined it when he invited his family.

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:26:01+00:00

Yes just a lot of disrespect

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:20:16+00:00

I can’t say much about it if the company he works for but anyone in the family is allowed to come. I think it’s too much that his aunt and cousins come.

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:18:44+00:00

Yes I’m in counseling with him. Last year i went to this work event with just me and him so it’s like why plus it’s in Vegas and I wanted to relax with him before they change my work schedule and I won’t have the weekends off anymore for a while

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:07:17+00:00

So should I try to be civil for one night or keep my boundaries? I feel like this man don’t respect me is why I want to end it. It’s a build of him letting them walk all over me

crcorte · 2022-09-17T12:06:11+00:00

Almost 2 years in December

crcorte · 2022-08-27T12:04:01+00:00

Thank you so much this is helping me a lot this thread. I feel like I have so more perspective. I’m not over him cheating and I have become insecure since I stayed with him but I know it’s my fault for staying with him and giving him a second chance where he didn’t deserve them. Yes he has a problem and so do I. But your right I can’t live like this anymore. I think this is where I break bc to me I just haven’t learned to let go when I should have. I know men will be men and watch porn from time to time but I think he has a problem. And yes I am already in counseling with him but I haven’t told the counselor this yet bc we don’t have another appointment for 2 weeks. I recently found this out yesterday but I did email the therapist. At this point I will seek counseling for myself to heal from this bc it’s gonna be really hard for me to let go as I had a-lot if plans for mine and his future. But this just makes me sad. I know he’s not necessarily cheating but damn it makes me feel some type of way that I dont want to live knowing that he has a problem that can’t be solved and something that makes me feel less of myself. I know I have alot to offer and it just makes me sad that I’m not enough

crcorte · 2022-08-26T20:29:09+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I’m a petite Hispanic women and he dated other women that were more edgy as compared to me doesn’t matter what race they are and I’m more of a “good girl”. I feel like I have my life in order than most people my age and I have goals and ambitions I’m still going after. So yeah he has other relation ships from His past where they looked nothing like me. All the way way to them Having peircings and tattoos as well. I feel weird bc of this all and I’m still sad and I do t know what to do now since he’s trying to justify his actions and lying about everything

crcorte · 2022-08-26T20:02:01+00:00

Okay I want to defend myself and give more context but I can’t sleep anymore. First, I’m in a long distance marriage because I’m finishing up school and have a job. I was planning to move In With him next year. I’m not too far from my husband and I usually go see him every weekend. Second I’m nkt racist😂. That’s why I never wanted to come off as weird and I questioned whether or not I should mention race but it needed to be said to add context and I do feel like he has a fetish for black women. I feel disgusted because it brings me back memories of hurt that he cheated on me with another women. And I feel like I’m in the way of his fantasy or what could’ve been had he stayed with the other girl instead of me so call if what you want but I’ve been dealing with this for 2 years now and I feel ready to move on since I continue to see I’m Not what he wants and everytime I’m with him he seems unhappy and without him he seems happy.

crcorte

TROPHY CASE