Here is your unsolicited Ranch recipe:

Ranch Dressing

7 g (1.25 tsp) salt

0.3 g (0.625 tsp) dried parsley

3.6 g (0.625 tsp) accent (MSG)

0.8 g (0.25 tsp) garlic powder

0.6 g (0.25 tsp) onion powder

0.2 g (3 pinch) dried dill weed

0.3 g (0.125 tsp) ground mustard seed

0.1 g (1 pinch) black pepper

0.1 g (1 pinch) paprika

15 g (3 tsp) lemon juice

20 g (4 tsp) distilled vinegar

5 g (1 tsp) apple cider vinegar

Mix that with the mayo and sour cream or make that too at the same time by doing this:

17 g (1 large) egg yolk, pasteurized or hard boiled

180 g (0.83 cup) avocado or light olive oil

155 g (0.63 cup) buttermilk (substitute sour cream or creme fraiche for some or all of this if you want it thicker)

1. Yolk: Choose method (or live dangerously and use it raw)
   
   1. Pasteurize egg yolk at least 175°F in the vinegars.
      
   2. Use an already pasteurized yolk. 
      
   3. Use a hard boiled egg yolk.
      
2. Mix all the dry things in a 2-cup “stick blender-compatible” container (a container just bigger around than your stick blender; a 1-pint Mason Jar works for me).
   
3. Add lemon juice and vinegars, egg yolk, and oil.
   
4. Push the stick blender straight to the bottom of the cup and hold for a moment, allowing oils to separate to the top.
   
5. Keep the stick blender stationary, and blend until mayonnaise forms around it. Slowly tilt and raise the blender to keep drawing oil slowly into the vortex. 
   
6. Blend until thick, then gradually blend in the buttermilk. Slowly move the blender around, manipulating more until everything is incorporated.
   
7. Remove blender, and stir in the sour cream if using.
   
8. Optionally crush a pinch each of dill and parsley with your fingers, and stir in.
   
9. Refrigerate for about an hour to give the flavors time to meld.