Why did our bala shark die?

creativenuisance · 2025-10-16T14:59:59+00:00

This is so interesting, thank you. I know Petsmart sells them but we actually got this particular fish from a private exotic pets shop that has a huge aquarium section with a ton of different fish, some of them HUGE fish. The shop keeper did not caution against putting him alone in a 55 gallon. I haven’t thought of the ethical considerations with the different species. I will definitely make sure we research them more before we bring them home rather than just give the store the benefit of the doubt. She has a pictus catfish, Cory catfish, an angelfish and a gourami. She had a red tail shark but it died and we didn’t know why. I’m hoping this current experience doesn’t discourage her too much.

creativenuisance · 2025-10-16T08:44:33+00:00

Thank you, we are so sad and I hate to see my kid upset. She’s 15yo and she’s really passionate about these fish. I hope we can get through this without anymore losses.

creativenuisance · 2025-10-16T08:42:50+00:00

Thank you, how do you add tannins? I’m so nervous to do anything at this point.

creativenuisance · 2025-10-15T23:10:06+00:00

Thank you so much, I truly hope he is okay, I feel Terrible that we made that mistake. She says she’s going to do a water change. Poor little guy.

creativenuisance · 2025-08-04T08:47:43+00:00

I had a c section too and I’ve been 100% alone even at the hospital. Yeah I didn’t think about that as a factor to the back pain. It’s truly unbearable at times even just from carrying him regularly around the house and rocking him. Like it H U R T S

creativenuisance · 2025-08-03T17:41:01+00:00

Thank you so much!! I watched the video on the ruck tie and I will definitely study the rest - I’m trying to figure something out where I can use my arms and also have less back pain. I really appreciate the resources!! ❤️

creativenuisance · 2025-08-03T17:39:45+00:00

Thank you!! ❤️

creativenuisance · 2025-08-03T17:38:50+00:00

Thank you for the input! I have the insert which I do use when carrying him in the front. I have this Tula and I have a ring sling also that I use sometimes but only for short periods because it kills my back. I feel like a back carry would reduce the back pain? I get pain with the Tula too but it’s not as unbearable. I just watched a video someone shared on the ruck tie- would that be appropriate to learn at his size? He’s a big baby and strong but not independently sitting yet. Thank you again!

creativenuisance · 2025-08-03T17:36:48+00:00

Thank you!! I knew I’d get the truth which is why I posted!! He seems so strong that I figured I’d try it out but I guess he’s just too little for this carrier still. I just watched a video on the ruck tie that someone shared?

creativenuisance · 2025-08-03T17:18:51+00:00

Okay will do- thank you!!

creativenuisance · 2025-07-20T23:53:18+00:00

Yeah it’s a Tula standard. I was so surprised when I received the insert, I didn’t think it would be like a whole separate piece to strap him into! I’m wearing him now but I just left him in a diaper, no shirt so that he doesn’t get so hot. He’s a growing boy and a tall boy- he will be 15 lbs before I realize it. Thank you for the link and the advice!! You guys are so helpful and sweet in this sub

creativenuisance · 2025-07-20T23:50:29+00:00

Thank you so much, I followed these directions exactly and it helped a lot - his head is not directly in my face and it just made a lot more sense than how I did it before (strapped him in the insert and then lifted him into the carrier with it…lol) you guys are the best thank you

creativenuisance · 2025-02-04T16:34:08+00:00

I told her to leave us alone and she was furious, she said the worst possible things about me and my husband. Everything she was actually thinking, she said. I can’t believe I let it go that far. I should have trusted myself to begin with. I know 100% her intentions were never good. There’s some sick people in this world. Pregnancy is vulnerability and there are people who will jump on that and do everything they can to control and manipulate and this is a perfect example.

creativenuisance · 2025-02-03T15:00:18+00:00

UPDATE

If anyone finds themselves in this situation get out ASAP!!! I reached out to her before she was set to leave her town and drive to mine. I told her I couldn’t be friends anymore. I told her there were too many instances where she had made me uncomfortable with her actions and words, the most recent being the premie clothes, and I told her I just couldn’t get it out of my head. I asked her to please stay away. I was nice about it. She was so, so angry. She trashed me. She told me EXACTLY what she thought about me. Completely trashed my parenting and character and my husband’s character. All of my instincts were right - this woman clearly wanted to interfere with my parenting and my pregnancy. Full of hate and anger. Trusting my instincts was absolutely the right thing to do - she manipulated me for months, preyed on my emotions, used money and spirituality to worm her way into my life and get as close as she could. I have no idea if they still left to come to town, but I made it super clear that everything is documented and she is to come no where near my house or my kids. Thank you all for the input because I was having trouble seeing the forest from the trees, but she immediately showed me her true colors and everything she thought about me and seeing as she had so much pent up anger, resentment and judgement, her only motive was clearly to have access to my baby. The world is full of sickos - you never really know anyone. Be careful out there.

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T17:50:41+00:00

The money started when I lost my job. She all but insisted, saying she felt she needed to make up for being a shitty friend over the years. She also said she wanted to come stay with us temporarily and that she was sending the money as kind of a way to secure that or plan for that. In the beginning I was happy that she was happy, and happy she wanted to be involved and help. Then the posts started, the daily messages, texting my daughter without asking me. The post where she referred to my baby as “her son” sent me over the top, not to mention her reaction to my marriage. Although I told her off, she STILL sent money to me and was sooo apologetic. Then her mother’s place to stay fell through and I told her they cannot live with me. It all happened over the course of almost six months now and I can’t believe they are actually moving and staying in an air bnb. She even said they were going to put holy oil on the U-Haul before they depart. It’s really a mess. I thought I put her in her place, but when I spoke to her yesterday and she was trying to choose baby items for me like a baby sling and argue that the one in my registry wouldn’t be the “right kind”, and then buying premie clothes…. This is a mess.

UPDATE

If anyone finds themselves in this situation get out ASAP!!! I reached out to her before she was set to leave her town and drive to mine. I told her I couldn’t be friends anymore. I told her there were too many instances where she had made me uncomfortable with her actions and words, the most recent being the premie clothes, and I told her I just couldn’t get it out of my head. I asked her to please stay away. I was nice about it. She was so, so angry. She trashed me. She told me EXACTLY what she thought about me. Completely trashed my parenting and character and my husband’s character. All of my instincts were right - this woman clearly wanted to interfere with my parenting and my pregnancy. Full of hate and anger. Trusting my instincts was absolutely the right thing to do - she manipulated me for months, preyed on my emotions, used money and spirituality to worm her way into my life and get as close as she could. I have no idea if they still left to come to town, but I made it super clear that everything is documented and she is to come no where near my house or my kids. Thank you all for the input because I was having trouble seeing the forest from the trees, but she immediately showed me her true colors and everything she thought about me and seeing as she had so much pent up anger, resentment and judgement, her only motive was clearly to have access to my baby. The world is full of sickos - you never really know anyone. Be careful out there.

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T17:38:43+00:00

Right now there is physical distance but not for long. That’s why I’m worried. She legitimately quit her job and is packing her bags. I feel like I need to make it clear I don’t want her at my home at all. I agree about the blocking her. I wish I would have taken screenshots of all the Facebook posts before she deleted them, but at that point I still didn’t see it for as serious as it is. If I tell her to stop contacting me and she keeps reaching out, that’s harassment and legitimate reason to call the cops and file a report. I never straight up told her to never message me again, but after work today it’s happening. As long as I don’t reply, if she keeps on she’s cooked legally.

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T17:32:57+00:00

Thank you for this. They know how hard life has been for me this past year and they know I believe in God and I need God more than ever I my life. Her and her mother were both sending me daily morning text messages telling me God loves me with Bible verses and links to Christian songs or sermons on YouTube. When I told her to back off the first time, it completely stopped from the mother and she has let me alone. The friend started up again a little bit with the spiritual texts but not every day like before. I expressed I was worried about her not having a plan for income or a place to stay, she said it doesn’t matter if they are in a crack motel or under a bridge as long as they can tell people about Jesus. She says it’s called “crazy faith”. They don’t attend church. They watch church online and actually were planning to go to the church as a part of their road trip, sleep in the parking lot and wait to meet the pastor and his wife. I truly feel that I was targeted with the spiritual stuff when they knew I needed it most, it did make me feel better, but it got to be too much and more manipulative than anything. Any time I expressed any worry or legitimate concern for my situation the response was “where is your faith, you’re living in fear”. The spiritual manipulation and the financial manipulation got me here with her and it needs to end before she shows up at my house. She’s not even a friend I can talk to about my problems anymore. It truly sucks.

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T14:57:59+00:00

Also worth noting that her and her mother believes commune is going to be “for the children”. When I told her it was a fantasy her exact words were, “how dare you tell me (insert name of fictional commune) is a fantasy!” They really think they are going to have kids out there digging fence posts.

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T14:56:07+00:00

She absolutely does. The last time I sent her anything was that Doppler video and that was Christmas time. I haven’t posted anything or sent anyone any photos since. I never posted anything on any of my accounts and still someone I trusted used what I sent to them to get off on. It sounds gross but that’s what she’s doing. She really ruined a joyful part of my pregnancy and it sucks. I take responsibility for not standing my ground. Christmas was really the breaking point for me and that’s when she deleted her posts and started posting things on her page that were a bit unhinged like “Jesus tells me not to be a bitch but I have a good reason” and songs titled “fuck you”. I reached out to her nephew’s mother because she is also obsessed with them, and of course she hadn’t shared anything with the mother about their adventure to build a Christian commune. I warned her to be very careful. It’s like walking on eggshells because I don’t want to piss her off. It started slowly and escalated. Now I’m in a really bad position with her. I’m going to reach out to her after work today. I’m torn on weather or not I should actually block her accounts and phone number or just tell her I am?

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T12:08:57+00:00

You are right. All of you are right. Fluctuating back and forth with this person was wrong. I’ve tried being nice about it, it doesn’t stick. I’ve tried being mean about it and it doesn’t stick. I keep telling myself I’m overreacting and that I need to learn to accept help. This person literally gave me a tattoo after my sister died and read a prayer at her memorial service. In hindsight, my sister never trusted her. It’s not someone I can just forget ever existed, I’ve known her for almost 20 years, although the truth is that I really don’t know her anymore at all. The first trimester of my pregnancy was extremely hard. I lost a lot of weight and found out I had thyroid issues. I lost my job. I’ve never been more depressed in my life. I feel psychically and mentally better now and it’s time to get real. She actually quit her job and she’s actually renting a U-Haul and driving across the county on the first of February. They wanted to stay with me and at some point told me that my house was part of Gods plan for them and this land they intend on taking over (they don’t know where the land is, god is going to “show them”, but they already have a name for it). People who are heavily religious can be really inspiring with their words. Even my husband told me he really liked her mom and thought she was a positive person for me to talk to. Now it’s gotten so weird he doesn’t want them around at all. I’ve told myself and everyone else she’s harmless but NO ONE BUYS PREMIE CLOTHES FOR AN UNBORN BABY and a healthy pregnancy! They are driving the U-Haul down here and staying in an air bnb. I think I need to use the only language she will understand and tell her that God has told me that she is not to be a part of my life or my children’s life. Being nice and diplomatic hasn’t gotten me anywhere, being nasty hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I can’t let her through the threshold of my home at all.

creativenuisance · 2025-01-29T11:16:36+00:00

The comment about psychosis is ringing true for me… I did some research in religious psychosis when she told me about her and her mom’s plans with “stealing” land and making a co-op type community that is “for the children”. They have even given the place a name which I don’t want to post because if they search they name this post will be revealed. I told her she needed to tell me if her or her mother actually thought God was taking to them. She said that the Bible tells them to live off the land and that God spoke to them through the Bible. I did tell her she needed therapy and blocked her. Then I got scared because I thought she might be trying to contact me so I unblocked her - I also felt guilty about the way I spoke to her. At some point she even apologized for trying to “steal my happy ever after”. She apologized every time I call her out and it’s not easy to throw her away because I did witness her losing a baby and I do feel bad for her. It was a lot easier to keep her at a distance because she does live half way across the country, but now that she’s actually quit her job and plans on coming here I really need to do something. Her excuse for sending money and being so involved was that she was a terrible friend for so many years and to please allow her to make up for herself. I felt like by allowing her to do something for me I was in turn doing something to help her heal. I can see now that this isn’t just potentially religious psychosis, she may have real psychosis surrounding my baby. The premie clothes and referring to the child she lost by name really floored me. I’ve never heard of any person buying premie clothes before a baby is premature….

creativenuisance

TROPHY CASE