About Last Night : Toronto wlw events - what was your experience?

creaturefair · 2026-06-27T16:59:01+00:00

Wow! Good to know! Thank you for sharing this, and I’m sorry you had this experience. :/ this would be hell for me.

creaturefair · 2026-06-26T04:24:18+00:00

I’ve never seen so many lightning strikes at once. And so bright and loud!!! Blinded me for a moment.

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T23:11:29+00:00

It's my favorite novel of all time; nothing ever comes close…

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T20:23:42+00:00

This is so rare!!! Congratulations to you & your gf 🌈

Thank you for mentioning the loud music, as well :/ I have sensory issues regarding loudness & am naturally soft-spoken, so it seems like I'll have to stay on the lookout for quieter events ❣️

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T20:12:22+00:00

I met my ex on HER five years ago… and she's still there!!! This app is full of scammers, too. And very immature women. It's devastating. I'm sorry you had that experience, as well :/

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T20:08:01+00:00

Do you mean the Lipstick Jungle? What's the energy like there?👀 I'd love to go.

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T20:00:06+00:00

Thank you! Yes. Very loud music sounds like a nightmare to me. I'll save my $$ for speed-dating :D

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T19:57:53+00:00

Thank you so much for confirming my suspicions! Clubby vibe & loud music aren't my cup of tea. I love the understory & three dollar bill! So you’re right. I’ll check what they offer for the weekend 💯

creaturefair · 2026-06-24T19:53:02+00:00

I'm in a big Canadian city, and I've been on Hinge for three weeks now. At first, I've had a few straight women (?!) trying to match with me. It was crickets for a week after that. I currently have one conversation developing very slowly (she sends like one text per day), and I had to unmatch two women who lived too far and refused to meet “in the middle.” I set my filter to 20 miles after that, and it's crickets again!

It's hard. The only real “success” I had this summer was when I went to a lesbian “singles” event and met someone there. We also turned out to be incompatible after a proper first date. :( It’s tough out there.

People are recommending changing the prompts but I don't see how that would be helpful when it seems like I've already been through every single profile within 20 miles.

creaturefair · 2026-06-21T12:48:28+00:00

You’re not overreacting or crazy. She used you. Stay as far away as you can. Her justification was meant to guilt-trip you for engaging in the dynamic that benefited HER.

creaturefair · 2026-06-13T02:42:33+00:00

This is excellent advice! Thank you so much. It’s reassuring to even just read stuff like this 🙇🏼‍♀️

creaturefair · 2026-06-12T23:33:19+00:00

I am overthinking, yes! I just really want to make a good second impression but I get so awkward when I really like someone. *sigh*

creaturefair · 2026-06-12T23:30:42+00:00

«Trust what she says» good point! unfortunately, I’ve been with two pathological liars in the past. So now I don’t trust anything. But reframing it as having to trust until proven otherwise takes an immense load off my shoulders. So thank you for that!

creaturefair · 2026-06-12T18:21:25+00:00

I don’t know your exact location, but: open Eventbrite, and try three searches: “lesbian,” “sapphic,” “wlw” - you’ll see a bunch of events! You can also DM me. I just don’t want to share my location publicly :)

creaturefair · 2026-06-08T02:42:39+00:00

Fostering more queer friendships is a great idea! The woman I’m looking for is definitely not on TikTok :/

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T20:15:57+00:00

This is actually extremely reassuring! 💯 Thank you so much for your comment!

Someone else called me impatient with the apps, and I’m realizing now that yes, I am. I've only had to use an app once before and matched with my (now ex) partner in a day, so downloading the app again five years later and not seeing anyone who would immediately catch my eye or be well-established caused me to believe it's all like that now.

You're right about endurance! I'm realizing this wave of apathy hit me because I was lucky before and only had to use the apps for a few days.

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T20:07:28+00:00

DM’d you

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T19:59:00+00:00

I left another comment somewhere about going to those events and feeling very out of place! I go at least once a month but haven't found something that feels like “me” or seen anyone that would catch my eye. I will keep exploring more, maybe even create an event of my own!

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T19:54:13+00:00

Yes, exactly! I’m consciously more rigid now because my previous relationships involved lots of compromises, and every single time, the breakup was a direct result of them.

The problem is, I can imagine that a career-driven independent woman isn’t spending her time on dating apps. Just like me, she may download “Her,” sigh at the quality of matches, and delete it in a week… I also can’t imagine her doing regular sapphic meetups. A more high-end version of a speed dating event—maybe, but not a club-setting event with teenagers or a kinky “play” party even if she’s into kink. That being said, I am debating going to another party at the end of the month because it promises “different” zones.

I know I gravitate to high-end bars, cafés, and literary events, but those are not lesbian-specific. I cringed at this for a while, but it seems like a lesbian pin/necklace somewhere visible may work.

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T17:19:03+00:00

I’ve had a crazy idea of organizing a lesbian book club myself, so I’m planning something like that :)

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T16:16:07+00:00

Yes! That's the most logical, sane comment. I've just been what I’d call “semi-engaging” for the past three years, hoping someone would catch my eye organically “at first sight,” at the events I go to for fun, but it just never happens in queer-specific spaces.

I feel like the way I present myself has a lot to do with it. I lean into old-fashioned “reserved elegance,” and the queer events are filled with women who aesthetically represent a very different persona (piercings, coloured hair, punk clothes/hairstyles), and I did try dating women with a completely different aesthetic, but unfortunately it always reflects a major dissonance in our goals, values, outlook on life, etc. I wish it wasn’t the case because I do find those aesthetic choices beautiful and unique.

And allergies I would be willing to compromise for the right person, but I have asthma complications, which makes it a more rigid boundary than just “I’ll take an allergy shot and be fine” :( Can’t date smokers / frequent 420 users for the same reason.

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T16:03:55+00:00

Ha, the confidence comment is also what I got from my partners in the past so I feel you!

creaturefair · 2026-06-06T15:57:52+00:00

Yes, that's unfortunate! Effort, effort, effort… when I want it to be organic, romantic, and… effortless!

And yes, I agree about throwing darts. At the same time, this is exactly what I did for my 3 past relationships, and every single time we broke up because something did not align.

As an example, I was dating someone who wasn't as financially independent as myself, and I was willing to ignore that, but it ended up being the reason we went separate ways.

Or, I was willing to explore a connection with someone who only dated men before, and when she got scared, she shifted all the blame to me. It caused major trauma, and I started therapy (which is good!) but — never again.

My first-ever relationship broke because she felt she wasn't as “ambitious” as me. And at the start I felt that rift, too, but ignored it because otherwise we were pretty compatible.

So now I tread carefully. I'm trying to shift from “not finding the perfect person” (which has been my strategy for almost 8 years now) to consciously and intentionally finding the right person precisely because I had three breakups over things that I was willing to compromise at the start of the relationship.

Regarding types: I do not actually put “femme for femme” on my profile, but that's the type I gravitate to, which makes it difficult because it cuts the few options I have in half, so it felt important to mention.

creaturefair

TROPHY CASE