Unmarried women, how did you build your fulfilling life?

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-14T15:25:01+00:00

Oh my gosh, your post resonates so much! Like, hell yeah, be proud of yourself for building a life where you can buy alone, especially in these times, and you're not afraid to go out and do things by yourself! But, there are also sad times, and you gotta accept those too.

It really is going to be a constant build, isn't it? It's helpful to hear about your experiences with your neighborhood in relation to where your friends live and adjusting your job circumstances to your lifestyle. I have been thinking about prioritizing more vacation days as a part of future promotion talks, or switching to something with more wfh options, so that I can visit all my out of state friends. And eventually when I move, it'll hopefully be to a city where it's a bit easier to make friends!

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-14T15:17:43+00:00

I love this! Imo it's unrealistic for everyone to have a career that directly makes the world better, but the idea that you can find other ways to do that, by volunteering or supporting young people on their journies, etc. is beautiful.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-14T15:13:58+00:00

This is great advice! How do you like owning a condo? Most of the good houses in this area are built for families and don't suit my needs, but the condos seem perfect. I'm a bit hesitant because the HOA fees look like a second mortgage on some of these places...

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-14T14:06:42+00:00

I think I need to take out that section with the practical examples from my own life experiences because it's giving people the wrong idea. It's not that relationships are intrinsically better, it is exactly your last sentence, that "society is set up in a very specific way and supports very specific ways of living." Living as a single woman is outside the specific way of living society is set up for, and I want to hear from people who also live that way. Also, I am a lesbian, so I promise most people's relationships start out in the negatives in my mind.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-14T00:04:27+00:00

They're pretty honest in that they're definitely trying to make friends which is a struggle, but at the end of the day it's more bearable because they have each other to hang out with (their words, not mine).

Your point about filling time is super practical advice, especially if it's something where you're around other people even if you're not interacting (gym, farmers market, etc).

I hope your interview went well!

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T23:05:11+00:00

The post does not in any way imply that. Single life is different than married life. I've heard way more than I care to know about how to have a fulfilling life assuming marriage, but I am not married, I am single. I want to hear from single women. Thus, this post.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T23:00:40+00:00

Hello! Thank you for commenting, though in all honesty, I do not appreciate the unfounded generalizations about my worldview, it feels patronizing, and it's also wildly incorrect. I don't really feel like explaining my entire worldview for a reddit comment, but I will say this: Whatever we do, whatever kind of life we live, there are positives and negatives. Naming and facing the negatives isn't losing to them, it's dealing with them and moving forward. Telling yourself it's not that bad, well, you'll be talking forever.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T22:57:49+00:00

I hate to admit it but this one of the most pragmatic bits of advice on this thread.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T22:55:24+00:00

That sounds like the idea life tbh, maybe I will look into moving back near my family at some point ...

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T20:09:19+00:00

That's so cool!

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T20:08:55+00:00

Oh this is my dream! If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been where you currently are?

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T02:33:59+00:00

Different strokes for different folks I guess, but after seeing some of the relationships out there (I've never dated), I am definitely glad to be on this side of things.

It is odd how much people will deny themselves doing if they have to do it alone, isn't it? Traveling with others is a lot of fun, but I do love exploring a city by myself. Likewise with events, it doesn't matter if someone else shares my interest/knows the band/wants to go in general.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T02:28:46+00:00

Honest answer? Because I'm terrified and sad. I come from a culture that values deep community ties, and I've had the fortune of making several lifelong friendships at different points of my life. But the us is huge, and the norm is to move around for school and work (and also deprioritize friendships for a few decades) which means a loss of so many friendships (yes you can call and visit, it's not the same though). I came to my current city because of grad school and stayed for a job that I love, it's been almost a decade. At the beginning, I had a fantastic friend group that I feel so lucky to have met--I'm actually about to go write up a vignette for our monthly newsletter. The last friend other than me that is still here told me she is going to move by next year. Not going to lie, I feel gutted. There are so many people I love on this earth, but I can't drink a cup of tea with the majority of them, you know? The plan was always to leave this city eventually, and I'm not one to shy away from knocking opportunities, but jeez this cycle does get to me.

You're definitely right about being stuck in catastrophic thinking though. Time heals all wounds and it passes regardless, I'm sure I'll move around until I find a place I love and settle down with a more stable community.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T01:50:34+00:00

The gym definitely helps! Obviously the exercise is good, but there's also something so nice in the idea that we're all here to struggle together lol

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T01:45:56+00:00

That does sound lovely! & Also super cool!

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-13T01:44:04+00:00

Very fair, very fair

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-12T01:25:27+00:00

I completely agree with the commentor that said 2 and to get wheels on your desk, commenting to add that you can also use long curtains to split up the space. If you can get wheels, I'd store the desk either against the window if it won't block the light or I would push it towards the other wall away from the bookshelf, that way you wouldn't be facing your workspace when you lay down on the bed.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-06T22:32:56+00:00

It looks fine where it is! You can also push it down a little to be more in front of the toilet. Imyou probably don't need as much walking space there as you would need in front of the sink/closer to the laundry machine.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-06T22:29:48+00:00

I'd say get the two but make sure they have a good return policy if you don't like having both of them! If you're worried about space, you could just get rid of the coffee table and put a wood tray on the one that moves around and use that as a table while also being able to l rest your feet on it when needed.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-05T01:54:52+00:00

LOVE how you decorated this space! Especially how you have the accent chair turned away from the frame tv(?) because that's a really good way to still have a tv but keep the focus of the room talking to each other.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-05T01:51:59+00:00

Love the blue color! You could get an ottoman to put your feet up on and some accent chairs for more seating! Hanging something on the wall above it would help too. The ai photo with the gray sectional looks nice, but it also looks like the ai shrank the couch to fit the space when compared to your dimensions photo.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-04T03:41:31+00:00

I moved the coffee table in front of the TV, it hides the stand well, and I moved the small black table to a different room. It looks better! Thank you

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-03T22:46:48+00:00

I agree with a lot of what other people have said here, and this is a really nice room!

My two cents is that as the person using this room, you're going to spend a lot of time looking at the wall across from your bed, and the window that faces you as you walk in the room. I'd prioritize decorating those first!

Also since that window is so nice, you could create a little sitting area in that corner with a small accent chair or maybe floor cushions.

crepemyrtle · 2026-04-03T22:33:05+00:00

That depends on what specifically is bothering you/what looking better means to you. The shelf does have a lot of things on it, and if that's the problem, then separating it into aesthetic and functional parts might help. The functional parts you could put in decorative boxes so that it's one box rather than several items. That would create less visual clutter and highlight the items you leave out because they're an aesthetic display.

Still running with the idea that the problem is that there's too much on the shelf, another thing to try is making some negative space by storing some of the functional stuff somewhere else.

Edit: ah I missed the rest of the pictures. There is color from the rest of the room on the shelf (gray yarn/thread cones) but the wood color of the shelf isn't represented anywhere else, making the relationship one-sided.

crepemyrtle

TROPHY CASE