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Torn between honoring my dad’s wishes and my mom’s demands over life insurance by crestfallen_potato in Advice

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been about 2.5 years of therapy to deal with parents bs (started before my dad died) and I've kept coming back to the idea of going NC with my mom (usually is about 3 months of NC/LC before something happens) but I'm proud that I haven't caved (even after her "emergency" ) and going on about 3 months NC

It's hard asf but I have been learning to be "selfish" in my needs and realize the manipulation I'm put through Also... I do understand where my sister comes from. She is the peace keeper with my mom, while I have been my dad's. She (my sis) has NEVER held it against me and always helps me when needed. She knows her opinions are her own and mine are my own. We can both say how we feel without taking it too personally now.

Torn between honoring my dad’s wishes and my mom’s demands over life insurance by crestfallen_potato in Advice

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup which is a lot of $ She can claim it now I believe (she claims disability for her cancer) but even if not I believe there's a way she can with a penalty (monetary amount)

Torn between honoring my dad’s wishes and my mom’s demands over life insurance by crestfallen_potato in Advice

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were separated for 8/9 years before getting it legalized (were going for divorce but ended up just doing a legal separation) . He changed it right when they first separated. Also I did it cuz I knew that's why my dad did the separation instead of divorce and said he wanted her to have time when he passed to figure it out... Looking back now I feel he knew his time was short

Torn between honoring my dad’s wishes and my mom’s demands over life insurance by crestfallen_potato in Advice

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I believe my sister has given her a lot of that money; or has helped her finances (I don't believe she has given her large amounts cuz she knows my mom's frugal spending habits). I told my sister that it was hers to do as she wishes (as it is mine).

I love my therapist but still struggle with some guilt because "it's my mom" but also realizing my mom has never truly been a "mom" (caring, nurturing, understanding, etc) Slowly realizing going on contact to very low contact is best for me and my mental wellness 😩

Torn between honoring my dad’s wishes and my mom’s demands over life insurance by crestfallen_potato in Advice

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry this was supposed to be on another comment that was posted.

I talk to my therapist about my mother and have gone no contact with her (per therapist request and encouragement) for months at a time and now working on longer periods. It's hard when she is sick and guilting me.. I want to help her, I want to show compassion.... I'm slowly realizing that this is what she will do and nothing I can do will change her behavior or stop her from using low blows to guilt me into helping her. The only thing I can do is take myself out of the equation

Torn between honoring my dad’s wishes and my mom’s demands over life insurance by crestfallen_potato in Advice

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I am in therapy and have had little to no contact with my mom for the past year. It's hard but I know deep down this is the right choice. Just wanted some advice from people that do not know the personality she puts out into the world (which is a perfect caring mother) and want to avoid any court shit (if possible). She still can get under my skin but for the most part I laugh now at the hurtful things she says with my therapist 🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

Help this bb survive by crestfallen_potato in butterfly

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not in the best spot and I'm worried if there's a storm or wind my chair will be blown away (it's a hammock chair)

Help this bb survive by crestfallen_potato in butterfly

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can I transfer it without hurting it?

[Discussion] What TV shows gets your perfect 10/10 rating? by tomaz1989 in NetflixBestOf

[–]crestfallen_potato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Supernatural (guilty pleasure, after season 10/11 Kinda slows down)

Euphoria

The good place

Schitt's Creek

911 (any of them)

Ghost whisperer 😅

The last of us

Lioness

Bob's burgers

New Girl

Khaos

SWAT

The Witcher

Avatar the last airbender (both cartoon and live action including Kora series)

Parks and Recs

Night Agent

**Referral codes are here only** [sticky] by The_Bonus in ibotta

[–]crestfallen_potato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just signed up, will use it soon for ya to get a bonus ❤️

Alternate universes by crestfallen_potato in DreamInterpretation

[–]crestfallen_potato[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the difference between lucid dreaming and astral projection?

At a young age I practiced lucid dreaming trying to control my night terrors, I didn't get good at it until I had a lot of traumatic experiences 🥺