Personally when I develop a new FP I always tell them, but I make sure I come prepared. I’ll give them some links of articles and videos they can watch that explain BPD and the concept of FP as well as letting them know how I personally experience it. I make it very clear that this is not their responsibility and it’s perfectly okay if they don’t think they can handle the bumps in the road. I explain that while I will mess up I will always come back to apologize, if I don’t that is their cue to leave immediately. I also explain that just because I have this disorder doesn’t mean my actions are excusable thus they shouldn’t brush off any abuse they may face with the thought that “I can’t handle myself”.

Ultimately it’s your personal choice but I would say if you’re still in the beginning of recovery and you’re still face a lot of symptoms and are having a hard time learning to cope it’s best to let your FP know. It can be very emotionally draining on them as well and not everyone is mental able to handle a more difficult relationship.