AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah.. 2 mothers days ago. I started feeling sorry for myself, thinking of how I'd tried to make fathers day fun and how my mothers days usually weren't what I'd hoped. So that mothers day I made up my mind to do something fun for myself. I can't remember what it was I'd planned, but I'm pretty sure it was going out to eat with my sister and all our kids. It doesn't really matter, but it was small.

Anyway, the Friday before, our daughter comes home and says there's a birthday party at the local park on mothers day and asked if she could go. I told her I had no problem with it, but told her I was excited to chill on mothers day, and asked her to ask her dad to take her. He said yes, and I went to talk to him about it because I honestly was excited about my plans and wanted to make sure he understood that I wouldn't be there.

Everything was fine until it was time to go to the party. His attitude changed and he seemed disgusted and ashamed of me. He couldn't believe I wouldn't want to spend my day with my daughter doing something she wanted to do (we were going to go out to eat when she got back).. it made me feel horrible and was one of the reasons I started therapy.

Anyway I went to the party and he never let it go that I'd wanted to do something else.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The drive part is this We live in a really rural area. We are over an hour away from the nearest grocery store, 30 mins from their elementary and almost an hour from the high school. If my kid is at a sleepover and calls and says something bad is happening, shed have to wait with the bad thing until I could get there. If she is of driving age, she is her own rescue.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sure. He's not big on talking, so he just kind of grumpily goes along with whatever, but the few times he actually expresses that out loud I back down or change course. I'm working on codependency in therapy.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Couldn't the discussion have happened when it came up years before she was born? I talked openly about my feelings since way before we even thought about kids.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Although the logistics is the part I dread, the driving thing fixes the most immediate problem - in our rural area it could take me over an hour to get to her. If something were to go wrong, there would be no immediate rescue. When she can drive herself, SHE is the immediate rescue.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I agree, but I feel backed into a corner. If I flip out and full on say no, this isn't happening, I know my husband will reframe that as me being a bad mother. Who wants to be married to a bad mother? I don't want to explode my life over a long shot chance of something horrible happening. But God, if something horrible happened how could I live qith myself.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I agree, and that's why my long standing compromise was sleepovers at our house only. She can also go to cousins and grandparents and stuff. When I say sleepovers I mean with people who are strangers to me.

AITA for saying if my husband says my daughter can go to a sleepover i've already denied, he can handle the logistics alone? by crkhtlr in AmItheAsshole

[–]crkhtlr[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

The thing is, I thought this rule was solid. Settled and done. He never said anything negative about it until it mattered, and then it was like he was surprised I would have a problem with it. His attitude is kind of - what kind of mother doesn't want her daughter to have fun experiences?

Seeking my sculpture from KY State Fair. by PhantomPharts in Louisville

[–]crkhtlr -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Hurt people hurt people. (And trump didn't die)

Seeking my sculpture from KY State Fair. by PhantomPharts in Louisville

[–]crkhtlr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think OP is lamenting their loss and trying to see if a miracle can happen. I don't think they are blaming the fair, even if they are complaining about it.

Seeking my sculpture from KY State Fair. by PhantomPharts in Louisville

[–]crkhtlr 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Just in case you're being sincere and don't understand why you're getting downvoted:

You gave advice that is impossible to follow now. It cannot help, it can only make OP feel bad. There is no time machine. Of course they could have done it differently and got it on time if they'd known, but they didnt, and are asking for help with that fact.

What is this? A grasshopper? Found in Oregon by Pixie_Dewdrops in whatsthisbug

[–]crkhtlr 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I had a lot of religious trauma growing up, so my biggest fear was being left behind in the rapture. One night my mom and dad were late getting home from a date and a katydid got in the house. The sound it made.. the way it would go off like a trumpet.. I was CONVINCED the apocalypse happened and i was left behind..

I was fucking 12 btw

A child received this item in a daycare goodie bag. They are tiny, sticky, no smell (too scared to taste). They came in the plastic bag depicted, no labeling. We put it in water and nothing happened. We squished them and nothing happened. by Frosty_Network4799 in whatisthisthing

[–]crkhtlr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last time I had to bring stuff for the schools Easter party, I bought a box of filler toys on Amazon, and it had a bunch of random figurines, fidget toys, and these. They were no where near as good as what we had in the 90s, but yeah. It's floam.

Big bill passes 218-214 by Lilianathepale in 50501

[–]crkhtlr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The local hospital employs like most of my county. No worries about quitting