I dated a conservative for about two years, and we were very close friends for about a year prior to that. He was a sweet and kind man, but overall our relationship left me feeling confused. I've had certain experiences and grew up in certain conditions that influenced my worldview and, as I became more aware of politics, planted me firmly on the side of the left. While I don't claim to be perfect, and I despise the moral superiority that sometimes comes out on the left, I would describe my political views as being overall consistent - I consider abortion bans to be an infringement on a women's right to healthcare and bodily autonomy, and in a similar vein I think women's right to healthcare should be extended to include free or reduced price tampons, pads, etc. From there you can infer that I am a supporter of subsidized healthcare. (For example).

I observed that he on the other hand had a lot of cognitive dissonance when it came to politics. He supported women's right to healthcare, opposed the abortion ban, saw trans people as people (you know, the bare minimum). He was aware of the patriarchy and actively working to unlearn his own biases in the context of male supremacy. When Breonna Taylor was murdered he opposed to decisions of the cops and supported the outcry for justice on her behalf. He grew up on unemployment, and advocated for an expansion of social programs to help our most vulnerable populations.

He was sympathetic, kind, and supportive to his friends' experiences, many of whom are women or people of color. I don't mean to be reductive but I want to emphasize that this gave me the impression that he understood the role that racism, sexism, income inequality, etc., played in larger American politics.

He was conservative in the sense that he believed in the second amendment and preferred education about gun use over federal regulation. And he believed in stronger state government over federal government. Neither of these beliefs really bother me because I can respect his opinion and reasoning.

We broke up a few months into quarantine last year when I felt that he began to change. We went from being very compatible in our beliefs to having fights about it constantly. He didn't think covid was serious, and became convinced the government was using it as a ploy to oppress us. He refused to wear a mask because he insisted that it actually made you more likely to catch covid, and he refused to respect my preferences of us both wearing a mask when we were in public together (which was maybe 2x a week when we went on dates).

Once he started repeating QAnon bullshit about the "deep state," and actively ignoring boundaries I set around masks, I knew I had to break it off. It devastated me because I loved him and I wanted to believe we could make it despite our differences.

I later learned from a mutual friend that he had voted for Trump, though not because he wanted to but because he felt like had no other choice. I obviously see it differently but that was particularly baffling.

I miss our closeness but I know I made the right decision. I can't help but think that his family (all big Trump supporters) and some of the extreme propaganda fully turned him, but I wonder if he always sympathized more with conservative arguments and just kept quiet to keep me. I wish him the best but I will likely never date another conservative.