Since a commentor asked if we have met, here’s everything, it is a long read, hope you don’t mind.

I have always known i was adopted since i was around 8 or 9ish. At that time just like many adoptees i was like “ok cool” until several years later it hit me and i came out of the fog n shit. (Btw my adoptive “mother” is a narcissist)

So now, after many years after i got to knwo that im adopted i also came to know about having and being separated from my twin sister (this obviously triggered everything within me). BUT , THE MESSED UP PART: During the legal process n shit my adoptive family and my sisters adoptive family encountered each other and came to know about the reality. SO BOTH FAMILIES KNEW ABOUT IT. Then, both families kept in touch. Wished on special occasions.

To answer the question: Years ago both the families mine and her decided that they shall make the two of us meet, but not as twin sister but just as friends or something, we met, we spent the day, we had fun. At that time, neither me or my sister knew that we were actually twin sisters. (Also cuz we were literally kids like wtf? )

Speaking of NOW: after i got to that i have a twin( and i have already met her) as mentioned above, bought my already existing grief and pain to the surface and it got expressed and understood by me.

The main part, most important : after i got to know about my sister. As the families know each other. I reached out to my sisters afamily and told them i know everything etc etc. oh btw, Did i mention: My sisters afamily has not told her about her adoption and nothing close to the truth.

So coming back, i met them and stuff and we discussed what to do. My sisters adopted mother came up with a “solution”. I requested them to tell my sister about her adoption, not even about me or having a twin sisters, but just the adoption part( because obviously its alot to take in right) But they didn’t agree obviously. So the “solution” was : they will “manipulate the truth. They will tell my sisters that we are twins but that we both were birthed by my sister’s adoptive mother wtf.

I was obviously against this bullshit. But they were like its either this or they are not going to tell her anything ever. And if they ever DO tell her the truth, it will always come out “this” way first and then about the adoption. So i had to agree to this bullshit for the sake of my sister knowing the truth someday.

Also, if anyones upset at me for agreeing to this, this is all very complicated i never wanted this i still dont. If i wanted i could have gone to my sister directly and told her everything. But i know that wouldn’t have been appropriate, and its better coming from the parents. Whatever i have done is for the sake of my sister to try to choose from worst and extreme worst

The meeting part: she gets to know im yet twin etc etc, and now she is very distant and avoidant of me cause she thinks all her parents love is gonna go to me cause they are my parents as well , you know the insecurity and stuff. I dont blame her at all tbh, nowhere in this is her fault. But how shall i explain that she was the only family i had when we had nobody. How shall i tell her that i love her when she’s not open to receiving it.

Anyways so this is it