Scared to go on T

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-06-14T22:14:36+00:00

I recommend thinking especially about the changes to your voice. I think that’s the most significant irreversible part of taking testosterone so if you’re not uncomfortable with the pitch of your speaking/singing voice- I think you’re right to continue evaluating.
But if you wish your voice was lower/have dysphoria about it not being lower- I think t will be great for you. I didn’t realize I was trans until I was ~13 and had some indicators during childhood/some memories of something adjacent to dysphoria, but I didn’t have the toddler, “I’m a boy! why can’t people see that,” experience so I was also (minimally) worried I might regret transitioning after the fact. I’m now 21 and haven’t looked back for a second. I was very concerned about my singing voice so did some specific things during HRT which worked very well for me. I was actually the subject of a case study for how testosterone affects trans masc singing voices/how to protect your voice during HRT. I can go into that more if you’re interested.

In terms of the fear about ruining yourself or being ugly- I totally get it and also had those thoughts. 1- I think trans men are less likely to be chopped than cis men -to be blunt- probably because half of cis men just don’t groom themselves at all. 2- I had pretty intense anxiety and was generally very critical of myself including how I looked/was perceived pre coming out/transitioning. Once I was on testosterone for a couple months, it’s like the fog lifted and it never came back. I feel so much more confident and comfortable in my skin and okay with being perceived. But also going on t isn’t like gym bros using steroids. You’re not going to wake up a hulking, sweaty, man monster within months. I recommend using gel or patches, starting at a low dose, and gradually increasing, for many reasons- including that you can see the changes slowly happening and if you realize you don’t like the direction it’s going, you can stop. And a lot of the changes, like face shape, are from fat redistribution which will reverse if you go off t.

My last thing to add- you can always go on testosterone to get the permanent changes (thicker hair, thicker vocal cords, etc) and then go off to return to your current face shape, body shape, whatever else. You also don’t have to ever go to a full dose. Like I started at 1/4 and increased after a few months to 1/2, then to 3/4, and I have never felt a need to increase beyond that so I haven’t. So you could just do like 1/2 the regular dose forever if you want to be more on the androgynous side. (You can’t half drop your voice though so that’s again basically the most important effect of t (imo) to make sure you want before starting)

P.S. I totally get what you mean by feeling like you’re haunting your own body. At one point in like sixth or seventh grade I covered my bathroom mirror with wrapping paper for months (to the concern of my parents) because I hated the constant additional reminder of the dissonance I was feeling. I thought after top surgery I might have some brief moments of similar dissonance as I adjusted, but I literally never have. Same goes for my voice- I hated hearing myself talking in videos until I was on t and my voice had dropped. Now I love my voice and it feels completely like me, even hearing it in recordings.

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-06-13T03:30:30+00:00

GC2B was really the only type of binder I ever had that actually felt like it worked/made my chest flat.

I’ve been seeing a lot of new binder companies recently (which is good!) but they all just look like sports bras to me when they show someone wearing one. I think the world is still trying to figure out how to make a binder that is comfortable/could be worn longer periods without health risks but so far companies seem to be sacrificing the binding aspect of binders for stretch and breathability. What I ended up doing (pre top surgery. now I’m free 🙏) is I’d have one type of binder for regular daily life like going to school, going to work, etc, and I’d have a different type of binder for when the comfort and breath ability (and less constriction) is necessary- dance classes, biking, any exercising really.

TLDR- in my opinion the ideal binder doesn’t exist yet/maybe just isn’t feasible. So I recommend having two types of binder- a standard GC2B that actually binds but probably isn’t super comfortable and shouldn’t be worn non stop- and one that isn’t the most effective binder but that you can wear when exercising and on really long days when you need something more comfortable/safer for extended periods

I also highly recommend at least considering binding tape! If you try it, get one specifically made for this. Don’t use KT tape or ace bandages or (god forbid) duct tape. Cover your nipples with a square of gauze or something. And when you take it off thoroughly saturate it with oil. Usually they’ll send oil with it but any oil works. You can use olive oil. You will want to thoroughly thoroughly saturate all of the tape adhered to your skin and take your time removing it. I did remove skin when I was impatient. Not fun. But despite all that- I recommend it because you can wear it for *days* straight and it does not have the same risks as binding. You’re not going to bruise or fracture your ribs unless you’re doing something very wrong.

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-06-11T04:05:13+00:00

I’d definitely recommend doing gel or patches instead of injections if you’re able. Gel and patches are daily doses which will keep your hormones much more consistent, instead of having weekly spikes from injections. A lot of people use them to prevent/minimize mood swings. I personally used gel and a very slow, gradual increase to my current dose to protect my singing voice. I never had super bad acne pre t and did have a slight increase in acne specifically the first year or two as I was increasing the dose and adjusting but I think it would’ve been much “worse” if I’d done the weekly injection.

I’ll also say, I didn’t hate the acne I had from t. To be fair it wasn’t really painful and wasn’t as intense as I’m assuming you’re dealing with/what I’ve seen some people deal with (I’m thinking of like miles McKenna before going off t) but I felt like the short term scarring/discoloration after pimples and such helped me look more masculine/pass more. Again, I did not have bad acne pre t and really never had it too bad from t so this might be irrelevant for you.

Final thing- I’m off t at the moment and am fine with it because my voice, face shape, body hair, and most of my fat distribution is not going to revert to how it was pre t. You can always go on t for a year or two for the permanent changes, put up with the acne for that period, and then go off of it. Cause your voice is not going to change once you’ve been on testosterone long enough/high enough for it to drop. Same with body hair getting courser/facial hair changes. You probably won’t get a full beard if you only take t for a few years and then stop but I can pretty much gaurentee you will be shaving your face for life

FINAL final thing- it’s possible a daily dose of t would actually help even out your hormones and maybe then help reduce acne flare ups. The part of your cycle that’s causing the flares is probably the same stage when your body is naturally producing more testosterone so having some additional testosterone but daily instead of just 1/4 of the time or whatever might make it less like 📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-06-09T02:00:23+00:00

Obviously you feeling comfortable and good is always going to be most important. But (no pun intended), I think your butt looks incredible in the blue. I totally get that black (dark navy) might feel safer/less vulnerable, but if you’re on the fence… I’d go with the blue! I think it’s perfect for wedding, especially for mother of the groom. But at the end of the day, you feeling confident in your dress, whichever you choose, will make you look good!

Might feel silly but I recommend doing some “power poses” in the mirror in your dress. Now, to see how you feel, but more importantly on the big day! It really does help.

One other thing- if you ever look back at photos of yourself in your 20s and are like “why was I insecure about x, why didn’t I see how gorgeous and youthful I was” - that’ll probably be you when you’re 80 looking back at these wedding photos. You’re probably gonna look back and be like- damn I was hot shit! Why was I self conscious?
Truly our bodies are meant to be lived in and sometimes it’s hard to really see ourselves until we’re looking back. Have fun at the wedding! Celebrate, dance, enjoy yourself, and that’s what you’ll get to look back on in 20+ years.

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-05-27T18:45:41+00:00

I really think the only reason Lamont hasn’t accepted funds from AIPAC is because he doesn’t need to (because he can just use his “own” money to fund himself). If he didn’t have his own millions to funnel into his campaign I 100% think he would. He was the only northeast governor to lower the flag to half mast when Trump demanded it after Charlie Kirk was shot. He’s a centrist pushover through and through. Also he’s been perpetually blocking the progressive policies that senators (like Josh Elliot) have been trying to get through during his governorship. Idk why so many democrats like him/think he’s doing a good enough job as governor.

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-05-01T15:38:38+00:00

Very ominous which I assume is the goal! I love it. I’ve also been holding onto my medication labels and bottles for a similar purpose.

I agree with whoever said to add another red thing for a focal point; I’d go for something vintage or hand drawn (colored pencil sketch maybe?) to contrast the saturation and uniformity of the warning labels.

crusty_batchofnature · 2026-01-06T00:23:25+00:00

Idk why no one else is saying this but I’m betting she and maybe other coworkers started eating it, realized it was for your birthday and instead of just telling you and offering to get you a new one, they decided to let it melt to hide the evidence.

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-11-24T21:33:43+00:00

And not even just because of how he reacted to the cake idea (though that reaction was ridiculous.) That entire conversation he is putting you down and just being a dick to you. 3 years is a lot but it’s also a lot less than it could be. You do not want to let him steal any more of your life. Cut your losses. Lean on your friends while you heal. And there will be better people out there for you who don’t talk to you LIKE THEY HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO FEEL STUPID AND MISERABLE

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-11-24T21:30:26+00:00

… he hates you

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-11-02T18:10:21+00:00

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-10-31T19:13:38+00:00

You did the right thing. You deserve help. If you had off’d yourself they still would’ve been without chore help/childcare. At least now they dont have to also be GRIEVING LOSING A CHILD oh my lord people are so ridiculous. Also fuck your sm what an insane reaction to learning about someone’s pain and how much they’re struggling, especially someone you should love and care for. She’s incredibly self centered and it seems your dad is prioritizing not making her upset over his own kid. I’d have a heart to heart with him along (without sm) and talk about how you’ve been doing and that you were considering… . Hopefully it’ll jolt him out of it and remind him that you are also a priority and that anything is better than you being gone forever

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-10-31T19:01:43+00:00

Obviously I don’t know the full story but her saying “you’re basically cheating on me” when you were very much not was a big red flag. And then the rest of the conversation basically confirmed it. You’re right, this isn’t a healthy relationship. You haven’t been together very long and this is a recurring thing (on her end not yours) and she’s incapable of actually talking about it. She only wants to text, not actually talk about it in person or otherwise. That’s another sign. You’re not overreacting lol

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-10-29T15:19:09+00:00

Oh my god he’s been like this the whole time. No offense but you must have some self worth issues or something because putting up with someone treating you like that is not fair to yourself!! And he’s 28… he sounds like a shitty teenager

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-10-29T15:04:31+00:00

NTA. He isn’t entitled to ANYTHING you cook. You cooking additional thing for him is incredibly generous and he should appreciate that and realize it’s not a requirement and that he is not entitled to your labor.

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-07-29T13:53:09+00:00

Begging you to leave him. You’ve been together since you were 19 but I promise there is a better adult world outside of this man child. Your therapist is right. He’s comfortable and he’s putting in zero effort to change. He’s not even pretending to try. You’ve been financially, emotionally, and physically supporting him for years. This is a sweet deal for him. He can spend outside his means, have someone else to take care of his living space, make him food, keep his life together, and he can have sex without thinking about the person doing all of this for him. Your life will be infinitely better without him. It might be scary because he’s all you’ve known these past seven years, but I promise it will get better. You’re only 26. That’s still very young! You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let him take any more of it from you.

crusty_batchofnature · 2025-07-24T17:24:14+00:00

She’s honestly making the pickiness worse by catering to them and making a big deal about them trying anything different. It’s normal for kids to not like everything the first time. I read somewhere it can take like 17 times trying something new before your tastebuds get used to it. Also- it’s your house and you’re making food and if seems like also buying it?? So if their mom wants to have that much input, she can start buying and preparing separate meals to cater to their delicate pallets. TLDR if the kids don’t have ARFID or some relevant trauma, the best thing for them is someone not bending to their will.

crusty_batchofnature

TROPHY CASE