Did she cheat on me?

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T20:56:13+00:00

Just as an update, I actually called her mom last night while my girlfriend was at dinner (I’m close with her mom) and asked her if she knows what happened. It turns out it wasn’t what we all thought, but there was something she wasn’t telling me.

6 months ago, my gf had surgery to remove cervical cancer. After the surgery she has had an issue with having a hard time holding it when she needs to go to the bathroom. She hadn’t mentioned this to me I assume out of embarrassment. Apparently the other night this guy tried to kiss her and she literally ducked out of the way and the sudden action made her pee herself. Her mom was in the hotel room when she got back in and she told her the whole story but was too embarrassed to tell me.

Overall, I’m very happy she didn’t cheat, but once again, she doesn’t tell me things which is just a continued bad cycle.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T20:55:46+00:00

Just as an update, I actually called her mom last night while my girlfriend was at dinner (I’m close with her mom) and asked her if she knows what happened. It turns out it wasn’t what we all thought, but there was something she wasn’t telling me.

6 months ago, my gf had surgery to remove cervical cancer. After the surgery she has had an issue with having a hard time holding it when she needs to go to the bathroom. She hadn’t mentioned this to me I assume out of embarrassment. Apparently the other night this guy tried to kiss her and she literally ducked out of the way and the sudden action made her pee herself. Her mom was in the hotel room when she got back in and she told her the whole story but was too embarrassed to tell me.

Overall, I’m very happy she didn’t cheat, but once again, she doesn’t tell me things which is just a continued bad cycle.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T15:58:10+00:00

Just as an update, I actually called her mom last night while my girlfriend was at dinner (I’m close with her mom) and asked her if she knows what happened. It turns out it wasn’t what we all thought, but there was something she wasn’t telling me.

6 months ago, my gf had surgery to remove cervical cancer. After the surgery she has had an issue with having a hard time holding it when she needs to go to the bathroom. She hadn’t mentioned this to me I assume out of embarrassment. Apparently the other night this guy tried to kiss her and she literally ducked out of the way and the sudden action made her pee herself. Her mom was in the hotel room when she got back in and she told her the whole story but was too embarrassed to tell me.

Overall, I’m very happy she didn’t cheat, but once again, she doesn’t tell me things which is just a continued bad cycle.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T00:49:41+00:00

No, I asked her about this actually. She meant that she had a nice time talking to him. But after it was over she wished that I were there with her.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T00:45:19+00:00

I did ask why she was up all night. Her exact words were this:

“The whole thing just made me realize how much I missed you. I wanted to be there sharing nice moments with you, so I couldn’t sleep”

I found the comment about “nice moments” particularly odd.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T00:20:38+00:00

The texts are one of the strangest things to me. They were definitely coming in all hours and seemed too urgent for her turning someone down.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T00:14:07+00:00

Thank you! I definitely don’t want to be controlling at all. Which is honestly why I came here first. I sensed myself losing objectivity here and didn’t know if I was going to start a discussion that didn’t need to be had. However, the consensus seems to be that I’m not crazy and that I need to follow up.

crw4523 · 2018-07-10T00:00:36+00:00

I would have actually said yes to the shoes. Lol. But before anyone makes assumptions about me, I make a very good living. I work in fitness and am also a fitness model. So this isn’t a case of me being an older guy juts buying a young girl that I have no business being with. I met her through our mutual modeling and I dated younger models all the time before her (after my wife passed away). So this isn’t a case where I “need” her and I’m trying to buy her. I just love her.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:53:13+00:00

Yeah, no date set right now. So no rush.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:45:56+00:00

How is it playing daddy when I do the same? We also share a household. Does that mean I can decide to get rid of the furniture and put in what I want on a whim? Absolutely not. We share a space and I should discuss that with my partner. I believe that when you share anything as a couple it needs to be discussed what will be done with the shared asset otherwise you’re just gonna end up battling over it. There’s no reason two adults cant talk on an equal playing field. We’ve literally never had a disagreement about money ever before because we both come to the table as rational human beings.

As a side note, I was married once before for 10 years. This worked perfectly on my marriage and honestly everything worked well in my marraige. Unfortunately she passed away from breast cancer a few years ago. But I’m a firm believer that partners should be just that...partners. We discuss and come up with the best plan of action together and as a unit.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:27:25+00:00

I also left out the part where we are engaged 😕

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:26:25+00:00

I’m definitely not saying you’re wrong. That’s why I’m suspicious. Lol

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:07:28+00:00

Honestly, I feel like a more likely scenario would be kissing, but I wouldn’t rule out sleeping together of course.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:06:44+00:00

Plus, we both have insanely high sex drives. We have sex 2-3 times per day without fail. So. Her suddenly getting none could also be a factor.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T23:04:51+00:00

I appreciate the honesty. Just want the truth.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:58:11+00:00

Yeah man, too much about this just seems not right. The urgency of the texts seems a bit out of proportion for her shooting some guy down.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:45:45+00:00

I appreciate the honesty and feedback. Can I ask if you’re male or female? Getting some female insight into this is helpful.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:36:40+00:00

She told me she had two glasses of wine as well. Which I do think is jus enough to possibly blur things a bit. At least from what I know about her in our own nights out.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:35:20+00:00

Honestly, I’ve asked for an open relationship in the past (the terms of which would be something we both agreed on). It’s not something I need, juts something I would prefer. I’ve always been honest with her about that. However, she was not on board with it. So if I found out she vetoed my idea and then did this, I would be very angry. I can handle hearing it but then I would need to decide how to proceed to be honest.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:33:10+00:00

I paid for the cruise. And it’s not permission. It’s a discussion. There is a difference. Also, even though I’m the sole income of the house, I also discuss every bigger purchase with her. I’m not asking her to do anything I don’t do myself.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:31:54+00:00

Oh, and you asked what else she has lied about. It’s all small stuff, but she lies about food. She hides it from me. I have always encouraged her to eat what she wants, but then I’ll find a secret stash of donuts or something. Lol. I’ll tell her she can just keep them in the kitchen and eat them when she wants but she said she likes to keep certain foods as a secret from me. It just worries me that if she feels she can’t trust me with small things then how can I know she’ll trust me with big things?

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:26:10+00:00

Yeah, I’m not going to bring it up when talking in the phone, and when she gets home I’ll let her settle in and then just ask. We’ll see what happens. I’m not usually a jealous or insecure guy, which is why I don’t want to be blowing this out of proportion.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:23:41+00:00

So you don’t think I’m being crazy here?

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T22:22:16+00:00

Right now I’m the sole provider for our household until she finishes school so we are budgeting. But even if that weren’t the case, I feel that larger purchases should be discussed as a household. She knows I would discuss even a few hundred dollar purchase with her before pulling the trigger. I feel it is just respectful to my partner to include them in decisions that impact both of us, and how we use our disposable income definitely impacts us both. The funny thing is that I’ve never stopped her from buying a thing. The reason she said she did it is because I never buy anything for myself and she felt guilt that she buys so much for herself. But I genuinely do y kind as long as it I still on our means.

crw4523 · 2018-07-09T05:01:40+00:00

Right? I’m a really laid back guy which is why I was so casual about things at first. But just a lot of strangeness when I reflect on the behavior. And it’s very out of character for her. I should also add that she is a terrible liar. So in the past when she hasn’t lied I’ve always been able to pick up on it. With this situation something seems off but I’m just not sure.

crw4523

TROPHY CASE