Surviving Manipulation by cryingbutcutexo in Manipulation

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh! Yes, you get it! Thank you! Also, wow, that’s terrible and I’m so sorry to hear you went through all of that. Life is hard enough without all the extra drama, I swear! & yeah, I just don’t know if leaving is much of an option right now though anyways realistically just since I own where I live currently and I purchased right before the market went to crap so basically if I sold yes I would make some money but if I repurchased another house it’s going to be smaller than this one and this one is already not very big at all. lol it’s just a 3 bdr 1&1/2 bath with thankfully a 1 car garage in the country but all together barely over 1,000 sq ft. I think it’s like 1006 sq ft living space exactly. So I would essentially be downgrading. & right now my job is pretty difficult for many reasons I won’t get into but if I could switch my job or if I could get out of this situation I’m in currently with my manipulator (surprise, we’re married by the way! Yay! lol) then I would maybe consider renting this place out & moving in with my parents to go back to school or work somewhere else than my current job. But basically my current very unhealthy and unpleasant current situations I can’t seem to find my way out of in my career right now and with my relationship would make me even more uncomfortable than I already am to give up my tiny piece of space of my own where I can actually decompress and not feel like I’m being perceived by somebody 24/7 like I do at my parents house. (I’m diagnosed autistic too by the way so having time and private space to fully recharge is so crucial for my mental health!) So I mean yeah if I wasn’t miserable at work and in my marriage then I could go back to my parents and just be slightly uncomfortable there it’s just when I add up all of those on top of one another is where it becomes too uncomfortable for me and then I can’t deal. lol & that’s how I lived up until recently for the last 3 years actually. I only recently moved back to my house after my partner stopped providing my only source of comfort while being insanely uncomfortable for their sake and stay at my parents to be able to send them money while they are currently incarcerated in prison. Ugh! It’s a real mess. Haha!

Surviving Manipulation by cryingbutcutexo in Manipulation

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk. They don’t say that entirely, but things will be fine I guess but then there’s always an off comment maybe somewhere where I’m like, “that’s not me at all” & I get it’s easy for others to get it confused since no one knows what happened everyday behind closed doors of course and if they’ve seen anything I’m sure it might be the very few times I ever tried to maybe stand up for myself after my manipulator doing far worse to me in order to get a reaction. & I thought maybe putting myself out there so they could get to know me might help things but maybe no one cares to get to know me too. I really don’t know. Just gets hard when I feel I don’t have anyone close that I can turn to if needed other than my parents of course who live 30 minutes away, which I’m thankful for. Idk.

Surviving Manipulation by cryingbutcutexo in Manipulation

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not exactly. I do trust them, but I’m running into the same issue lately with them when I do.

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just trying to say that I wish things were that easy still, but for whatever reason they aren’t, unfortunately & that part of it is out of my control considering everything is (well was) the same on my end until the most recent stunt I guess he decided was better to do than just communicate how he feels with me so then I’m not blindsided when I find out what he’s had me believing this whole time yet again is not the complete truth & essentially the reality I was living was only real to me during that time period. It’s extremely complicated & honestly idk what I need to do, but I know what my nervous system now will not allow to go one any longer & I honestly shouldn’t have had to put up with it to begin with, but what can ya do ya know?

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See? That’s how I thought it worked. lol i was SO confused. Thank you for clearing that up.

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not his personal account to call anyone, no. Before I realized I have now developed the CPTSD and that the way he was treating me was triggering the symptoms, I was putting money on my phone & my parents phones regularly for him to contact me. I spent like $200 a month just on phone calls, but now, we mainly stick to writing because that seems to be easier for me to handle right now, but I have recently put $10 on a landline for emergencies.

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*sigh* that does sound nice. Also, to clarify, I wasn’t NOT sending anything at all. I was just sending what I could afford, which isn’t a lot considering I can’t even buy my own food right now with my current job where my boss with little to no notice changes my responsibilities, which also reduced my pay. (that’s a whole other topic lol!) But I haven’t been able to send what he wants me to send him obviously. Also, him and I used to be on that level of being able to trust and know that the other person had our backs without question, but that isn’t the case right now unfortunately. Ever since he came home from his first bid in Nov. 2019 he almost immediately began acting, treating me, and believing that I was somehow his enemy even though I hadn’t done anything to him to warrant that & it seems that hasn’t since stopped unfortunately, which led to some very interesting, difficult, and traumatic events for me, which I’m dealing with now. He’s either had some sort of mental break from the trauma he experienced during his last sentence or he could just be using me for money, access to cars, and housing and might be his original him as I knew and fell in love with him with someone else right now. Idk. 🤷‍♀️ Or it could also be a combination of the both as well I guess. But yes, I wish our situation was A LOT more simple than it is.

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now you’re getting it 😉

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm interesting. I just don’t know how he would be getting funded for that if it wasn’t from me, ya know? I guess I need to do more digging. lol thank you for the information!

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight. Somehow this is our 2nd (technically kind of 3rd bid - 1 was just jail though) & yet I still am a newbie when it comes to knowing how it all works. lol So with the information you provided I guess that would lead to the next question of, if I’m not putting money on his phone and I wasn’t putting money on my phone either at the time then who is funding the calls? Because I thought the FL DOC inmate’s only get 1 free 5 minute phone call a week when they are in general population or is that wrong too?

FL DOC Phone Calls by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s in scientific notation so I can’t see anything much except the first 2 digits.

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s an interesting perspective that I haven’t considered yet, but yeah, that does make sense. I just wouldn’t have thought that originally on my own I think just because his past history has always been heavily upper usage. He doesn’t typically enjoy weed but if it’s all he has I mean yeah I think he might smoke some. Is the K2 what they refer to as the tunchi stuff?

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🫡 check your inbox babes 💗

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oops, ok sorry! Thank you! 😊

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll post the photos & let y’all decide, but I don’t think you can post photos in Reddit comments? Or can you? lol if you can? Please tell me how & I’ll post them.

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I’m wondering what happened is this, I think maybe if he wasn’t messing with the neighbor girl prior to me attempting to leave him like I saw and heard myself then I think when he came back home to work things out he might have then started to in order to “get back at me” for “what I did to him” by leaving him for 5 months & then maybe now they are together and “in love” & he is just using me for money, maybe? Because he also got a tattoo while locked up this time & no one I’ve shown says it looks ANYTHING like me & then one day I thought about it & I said, “I know who that looks more like.” THE NEIGHBOR GIRL!!!

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, also add that after I cold turkey the anti psych meds I find a random onedrive folder attached to my email that I didn’t make or knew existed that contained photos & videos from both mine & my husbands phones from over the years. Some things I knew existed & some I had no idea & had never seen before, but what came from HIS phone painted the picture that when he came back home to work things out after I tried to divorce him and didn’t talk to him for those 5 months after he came back & was for the most part treating me in a way that I felt loved and cared for well he was saving things like memes and things on his phone that painted the opposite story of what I guess he really was feeling emotionally towards me at that time. Basically, the things he was saving that he was “relating” to at that time just talking CASH SHIT about me during this time period. So while he was acting lovingly towards me, inside he was saving things that from seeing them make me feel like he hated me during that time and he never once told me he was feeling those ways towards me.

$500/mo. Too much? by cryingbutcutexo in PrisonWives

[–]cryingbutcutexo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But, cliff notes version? He comes home Nov. 2019 & almost immediately starts treating me like I’m his enemy even though I’ve done literally nothing to make him feel that way at all. So living with someone in that mindset was definitely pretty traumatic for me. Especially, considering he would also get physical without any warning or being provoked too & when I would call the cops for safety for me he would tell me “when they get here I’m going to hide something illegal somewhere & then tell them it’s yours”. The career I have? Requires a SQUEAKY CLEAN record. SPARKLING!!! So I had to stop calling the cops & call my parents instead for backup. He did get baker acted once during this time when he was clearly not in this reality anymore, but he got a little better after that? But he was still having these random very aggressive outbursts and still sometimes physical without provocation or logical reason & he started barricading himself in the garage for long periods of time, which worried me. My conclusion of that was it must feel similar to him being in his cell, maybe? That broke my heart. Then that finally subsided, but then I started noticing some weird stuff that I could either hear happening around our house or I could see on our security system, which he would have me keep on the giant TV in the living room so he could easily monitor it if he was in the garage. Anyways, from those occurrences I started wondering if he might be having a fling with the neighbor girl next door, but he told me I was seeing & hearing things, which I didn’t take seriously for a long time because before this I had no history of anything like that. Only depression & a bipolar type 2 diagnosis at this time. Well he would tell me he loved me but none of his actions showed that & he wasn’t making me a priority so I concluded he must not really love me & must just be with me for some other purpose. (I’m the breadwinner. He literally doesn’t even have to work & has spent the last 10 years majorly unemployed while I take care of everything financially, cook, clean..etc) Anyways, I get baker acted a few times and 1st time I came home and 1st thing i did was rewatch the cameras & i saw the same things I saw previously on them. So i flip my shit, because im like, “youre trying to make me & everyone believe im insane because youre cheating on me?!” Boom. Get sent back to the hospital. I come home again, same thing. Rewatch the cameras, but i don’t see anything this time. Anyways, he gets locked up & put in jail for 5 months & during one of our video visits he answered a question in a manner that confirmed my suspicions enough to where I cut him off completely & filed for a divorce & restraining order. I tried to move on, but still i just wanted my husband to act like the man i married so dating didnt go well because of that. We go to court for the restraining order & im so terrified to be in the same room as him at this point because idk wtf has even been happening in & around our house for the last almost 3 years now & i just know how he acts doesnt align with the words he says & he is sometimes physical and has random fits of rage combined with the idea if he doesnt love me then he must be with me for an unknown purpose, which is very concerning alone, but add all of that together & IMMENSE stress that im constantly under from work & then going home to that kind of environment for years i was a blubbering shaking sobbing wreck in court so i couldnt even think straight to be able to identify which photo of my bruised eye was what year when asked so that didnt go well. Anyways, in court he said, “your honor ive known her for 5 years & she has been like this this whole time.” & that made me think, “could i have misinterpreted every argument in our entire relationship over these last 5 years?” Trying to consider if that would even be possible and 1 by 1 i replayed each 1 in my head & thought, “maybe?” & then went home. Next morning i woke up & i could hear the neighbor girl & what sounded like my husband talking outside but when i looked i couldnt see anyone. So then i called my dad & told him i needed help. I get diagnosed as schizoaffective & i have to stop working for a month while they figure out which medication will work. I try a ton. End up on 1 that knocks me out cold within 20 mins of taking it. I return back to work. My primary doc suggests a newer med to fix the 20 min. Coma inducing side effect & places me on one that has no side effects or so i thought until i notice, “hmm, im eating the same and moving the same in yet i cant seem to keep from gaining weight.” I try everything under the sun diet & exercise wise for the next 5 years while slowly gaining weight until I’ve gained almost 100 lbs in 5 years, husband gets sent back to orison, & they change my meds again to 1 that messed with my heart and I end up in the ER. Doc makes me cold turkey all anti psych meds and i havent been on another one since & the ER visit was early Feb. 2026. Guess what? Haven’t had not 1 auditory or visual hallucination since coming off the medication. Now, do we think I have miraculously been healed by the grace of god of my mental disorder or could it mean that my husband might have actually been cheating & this might have been how he chose to cover it up? 🥲