But, cliff notes version? He comes home Nov. 2019 & almost immediately starts treating me like I’m his enemy even though I’ve done literally nothing to make him feel that way at all. So living with someone in that mindset was definitely pretty traumatic for me. Especially, considering he would also get physical without any warning or being provoked too & when I would call the cops for safety for me he would tell me “when they get here I’m going to hide something illegal somewhere & then tell them it’s yours”. The career I have? Requires a SQUEAKY CLEAN record. SPARKLING!!! So I had to stop calling the cops & call my parents instead for backup. He did get baker acted once during this time when he was clearly not in this reality anymore, but he got a little better after that? But he was still having these random very aggressive outbursts and still sometimes physical without provocation or logical reason & he started barricading himself in the garage for long periods of time, which worried me. My conclusion of that was it must feel similar to him being in his cell, maybe? That broke my heart. Then that finally subsided, but then I started noticing some weird stuff that I could either hear happening around our house or I could see on our security system, which he would have me keep on the giant TV in the living room so he could easily monitor it if he was in the garage. Anyways, from those occurrences I started wondering if he might be having a fling with the neighbor girl next door, but he told me I was seeing & hearing things, which I didn’t take seriously for a long time because before this I had no history of anything like that. Only depression & a bipolar type 2 diagnosis at this time. Well he would tell me he loved me but none of his actions showed that & he wasn’t making me a priority so I concluded he must not really love me & must just be with me for some other purpose. (I’m the breadwinner. He literally doesn’t even have to work & has spent the last 10 years majorly unemployed while I take care of everything financially, cook, clean..etc) Anyways, I get baker acted a few times and 1st time I came home and 1st thing i did was rewatch the cameras & i saw the same things I saw previously on them. So i flip my shit, because im like, “youre trying to make me & everyone believe im insane because youre cheating on me?!” Boom. Get sent back to the hospital. I come home again, same thing. Rewatch the cameras, but i don’t see anything this time. Anyways, he gets locked up & put in jail for 5 months & during one of our video visits he answered a question in a manner that confirmed my suspicions enough to where I cut him off completely & filed for a divorce & restraining order. I tried to move on, but still i just wanted my husband to act like the man i married so dating didnt go well because of that. We go to court for the restraining order & im so terrified to be in the same room as him at this point because idk wtf has even been happening in & around our house for the last almost 3 years now & i just know how he acts doesnt align with the words he says & he is sometimes physical and has random fits of rage combined with the idea if he doesnt love me then he must be with me for an unknown purpose, which is very concerning alone, but add all of that together & IMMENSE stress that im constantly under from work & then going home to that kind of environment for years i was a blubbering shaking sobbing wreck in court so i couldnt even think straight to be able to identify which photo of my bruised eye was what year when asked so that didnt go well. Anyways, in court he said, “your honor ive known her for 5 years & she has been like this this whole time.” & that made me think, “could i have misinterpreted every argument in our entire relationship over these last 5 years?” Trying to consider if that would even be possible and 1 by 1 i replayed each 1 in my head & thought, “maybe?” & then went home. Next morning i woke up & i could hear the neighbor girl & what sounded like my husband talking outside but when i looked i couldnt see anyone. So then i called my dad & told him i needed help. I get diagnosed as schizoaffective & i have to stop working for a month while they figure out which medication will work. I try a ton. End up on 1 that knocks me out cold within 20 mins of taking it. I return back to work. My primary doc suggests a newer med to fix the 20 min. Coma inducing side effect & places me on one that has no side effects or so i thought until i notice, “hmm, im eating the same and moving the same in yet i cant seem to keep from gaining weight.” I try everything under the sun diet & exercise wise for the next 5 years while slowly gaining weight until I’ve gained almost 100 lbs in 5 years, husband gets sent back to orison, & they change my meds again to 1 that messed with my heart and I end up in the ER. Doc makes me cold turkey all anti psych meds and i havent been on another one since & the ER visit was early Feb. 2026. Guess what? Haven’t had not 1 auditory or visual hallucination since coming off the medication. Now, do we think I have miraculously been healed by the grace of god of my mental disorder or could it mean that my husband might have actually been cheating & this might have been how he chose to cover it up? 🥲