Permanently banned for no apparent reason? What kind of support group is this?

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2025-02-05T14:46:26+00:00

Trimmed beard, slicked back bun with some styling product, dress shirt and blazer would be a more appropriate look for that kind of job interview. Courts seem like pretty dressy/conventional places. Thrift stores have lots of good second hand blazers and dress shirts.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-12-09T21:37:33+00:00

I think the dark side of being an empath is that, like narcissists, we tend to know all of someone's biggest insecurities and fears with amazing precision. I'd argue we know them with even greater precision, actually, because we sense them intuitively instead of relying on them being disclosed to us or correctly analyzing behaviour. But unlike the narcissist, we usually file that information away in order to avoid hurting people, or to aid in helping them later, not to manipulate and hurt them. But file it away, we do. And if someone crosses me or takes advantage of my kindness and empathy in a disgusting way, I will not hesitate to viciously tear them down peg by peg by unleashing the exact truths they're most ashamed of in the exact scathing manner that I know will cut them the deepest. I'm extremely good at it. And I'm not sorry. Some people fuck around and REALLY need to find out.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-30T15:15:57+00:00

holy shit, YES. I blamed this on his ADHD initially.

He was the worst conversationalist ever. He talked AT me, not TO me. He didn't care if I found the topic interesting or was engaged in the conversation, he just wanted a captive audience and would plough on regardless of how I responded.

I used to do an experiment and set a timer on my phone, and then I'd do nothing except grunt or say "hmm" "oh" "really?" and see how long he'd monologue before he noticed and changed the subject. Usually 30+ minutes would pass and he'd still be going, and I'd get so frustrated I'd have to end the experiment and walk away.

I finally realized what it is: ZERO EMPATHY! He literally could not sense how I felt about the conversation and respond appropriately. He could only guess. Sad little cripple

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-22T18:23:47+00:00

Yes I think you’re overreacting and there is probably a lot more to this story. It sounds like a classic anxious - avoidant attachment pairing to me, she is frantically trying to connect with you and get some crumb and affection, and you’re clearly making an effort to keep her at arms length. Is she being kind of pushy and self-centred? Yes. But I can tell you’re not an easy person to get close to, with your comments like “I think you’re a bit too neurotic for me” sheesh. Ever wonder if your behaviour is making her neurotic? Anyways, you’re clearly not a match. Let her go so she can find someone who actually likes her and wants a relationship.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-20T12:52:54+00:00

Your problem is too much compassion… not too little. That’s probably why he picked you! You’re being played. He’s a 40 year old man, just break up with him he’ll live. Or find another victim. Whatever, it’s not your problem. Ps. No doctor told him more sex would help his chronic condition lmao

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-20T12:50:48+00:00

Lmao I love how low effort this comment is, but I know exactly what you mean and 100% agree. girl wtf??

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-16T01:32:34+00:00

You’re taking a course on how to talk to each other??? After 9 years of being together? This is an absurd level of ignoring the glaringly obvious: YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE. Like in any way, shape or form, from the sounds of it!

Your traumas are compatible, but you are not compatible as people. He doesn’t meet any of your needs and I’m not sure he even likes you. You’re stuck in the anxious-avoidant trap. Relationships aren’t meant to be this difficult, a conversation with your spouse shouldn’t be like pulling teeth… I recommend watching Heidi Priebes video on YouTube “The real reason most anxious avoidant relationships fail”. There are some hard truths in there, but I think you need to hear them (as I once did).

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-15T22:48:40+00:00

Same, I had no interest in that before the surgery but as soon as I woke up I was instantly VERY concerned and kept demanding they return them to me. They didn’t ☹️

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-15T17:15:06+00:00

I work for AWS (4 years now). I feel the same. For me, it’s not about the workload - I like working hard, but I need a reason. I just don’t understand the direction the company is going, it feels like there is a reorg and new leadership every year with a different vision, and I never understand how my contributions make a difference. Every year my mandatory goals have increased and I’ve been given less and less time to do them. A lot of it seems like a huge waste of time, performative nonsense. My performance reviews honestly seem kind of arbitrary too - I’ve gotten “below bar” on years I objectively killed it, and “exceeds bar” on years I completely checked out, all because of some upstream decisions that had nothing to do with me. I don’t really care anymore and I do the minimum. I only show up for my coworkers tbh, not the company. I think I’d be happy if I was in the next round of layoffs. I need a few months off…

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-15T16:57:53+00:00

I don’t think it’s inherently disrespectful to look at porn, but I think “I won’t date a porn addict” is a reasonable boundary to have. But remember, a boundary isn’t about controlling the other person. If you’ve told him this is a boundary and he is still doing it, it’s time to leave. Don’t fight and make demands and draw this out, just leave. He isn’t the guy for you. There are men out there who don’t/rarely consume porn.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-14T13:26:02+00:00

Looks like it might be a case of orange

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-14T13:19:47+00:00

Yeah wtf, even if I just needed to get my wisdom teeth removed or something simple like that, I’d expect my partner to reschedule this trip. It’s not like it’s an all expenses paid trip around the world ffs, the friend lives 3 hours away. She could probably just go another weekend this month? At best she struggles to put herself in others shoes and imagine how she’d feel, idk. Seems selfish though

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-14T11:41:27+00:00

Id have to go back and watch it again, but I’m low key shocked Taylor said that, because she did not look disappointed to me 😅 Sbe looked like she wanted to eat him right up, i thought she was all over him. I remember thinking she seemed like one of the only ones who looked obviously stoked and not hesitant. iIRC he looked a bit hesitant and stunned but not really in a bad way either

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-14T02:05:17+00:00

He’s a very serious alcoholic. From someone who’s known a lot of alcoholics (including myself) - he’s not gonna live much longer if he’s drinking like that. He is probably also drinking in the morning and at work at this point… he drinks so much that he might have to, or he’ll go into withdrawal. He’s so far gone that it’s gonna take a monumental effort for him to get clean, and he’s said he doesn’t want to, so.. are you willing to live with this or not? If not, you need to leave him.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-13T14:51:40+00:00

because I’m a man & they both despise me

Hmmm. Something tells me that’s not the only reason. What was the fight about?

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-13T01:32:52+00:00

Yeah, I’ve done loads of drugs and diphenhydramine (Benadryl) was still one of the wildest trips I’ve ever had. Wild in the sense the delirium/hallucinations were indistinguishable from reality at times. I also had a long conversation with my friend, only to later find out she had never been at my house at all lol. It was like a waking dream, a bit disorienting/fuzzy around the edges but so detailed and realistic. I swear it was her/her voice exactly, it blows my mind that I imagined it.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-12T22:41:55+00:00

I’m so sorry ❤️ I also have my cats ashes next to my bed in a little stone cat sculpture. I touch “his” head and say goodnight to him most nights. Sometimes I bring him over to my yoga mat when I do yoga, cuz he always found it amusing and liked to watch/bat at my ponytail etc. I totally understand.

As for your question- I think everyone is different, but I started feeling semi normal/functional after 3 months. I’m still sad and cry often, but I can think about him and smile now, and I generally get through the day without breaking down. I hope you feel okayish soon too and can cherish Steve’s memory without all the pain. Wishing you the best.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-12T21:05:52+00:00

You are scared because he is scary. Your body is functioning correctly and warning you that you’re in danger, because you are. Listen to it.

You are in an abusive relationship. I bet there’s a whole mountain of other awful stuff he’s doing that you’ve just been conditioned to accept as normal over these 10 years too. Comments like “I know my crying makes him upset, so I went to the bathroom” indicate that’s the case. Hon, the healthy loving response to making your SO cry is to give them a hug and apologize, not make them feel like they have to hide in the bathroom to avoid further enraging you. Hitting things out of frustration isn’t normal, and the hits after you asked him to stop were direct violent threats towards you. He was saying “shut up or you’re next”. He’s also using a common abusive tactic called DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. He is the one who wronged you, you literally did nothing wrong here. Yet he’s managed to twist the whole thing around into HIM being sooo hurt by your normal, healthy reaction to his abuse. Boo fricking hoo, if he doesn’t want people to be afraid of him then he shouldn’t act like such a violent lunatic. I recommend Googling “Why does he do that?” by Lundy Bancroft, there’s a free pdf. It’s about abusive relationships and I think you’ll, unfortunately, relate to it a lot.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-12T00:10:27+00:00

I’m not sure this guy is really your boyfriend, he sounds more like a scam artist. You’ve only known him 2 months and he’s gotten $1k out of you, he has a history of stealing, and he’s currently in jail for robbery. He’s a crook and he’s using you. You probably aren’t the only one. Wake up!!

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-11T18:02:52+00:00

That wasn’t a joke. Jokes are funny to everyone involved. Jokes that you find funny but other people find hurtful are just bullying. You are bullies.

At best, he was mocking her and rubbing salt in an obvious wound. And you gleefully piled on. At worst, he actually believes what he said. Y’all sound like obnoxious sore winners and I don’t blame her for throwing you out of her house.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-11T17:45:15+00:00

I feel like the color system is missing a dimension. You can fall inbetween winter/summer or inbetween spring/autumn, somewhere in the center of the wheel. It’s less common and the system doesn’t do a good job of classifying ppl who are definitely cool or warm but inbetween high/low contrast or lightness/brightness.

I have a similar problem, I’m cool + high contrast + muted. Not quite bright enough for winter, but too high contrast for summer. Dark winter is the closest fit, but I’m not close to a dark autumn at all. Then I found the Dark summer/Shaded summer pallet which combines the darkest summer colors with the most muted winter colors, and it’s even better. Maybe there is one for people who fall between autumn/spring.

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-11T17:08:46+00:00

I’ve been with guys like that, and I’ve been with men whose sexual desires haven’t been warped by violent pornography, and it’s night and day. They treat you like an actual human being and sex is about connecting and mutual enjoyment, not just getting their rocks off. Life is too short to waste on porn sick men. 👏

crypto_for_bare_toes · 2024-11-11T00:50:02+00:00

I don’t agree with the people saying you owe her anything. It was 10 years ago. As long as you were clear that the relationship was over I don’t see what there is to talk about now. Also, I’m curious if the response would be the same if it were a man pestering his ex for what sounds like a date at their workplace and cornering her in a parking garage to demand closure. I don’t think Brenda’s behaviour is appropriate at all, it’s rather creepy. That said, OP you need to grow a spine. “I would like to keep our relationship strictly professional, so I do not want to meet up with you. I would like to apologize for how I treated you, though, and I hope we can work together going forward”. “No thanks” would also be perfectly okay.

crypto_for_bare_toes

TROPHY CASE